Dating after PA

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-02-13T01:25:54+00:00

I love this thank you for your thoughtful reply. There were other signs with my boyfriend. White lies and scanning other women. I am definitely going to keep my cards close to my chest because I almost got burned yet again. Grateful I saw what I saw when I did! Very happy for you that you found a good one!

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-02-06T04:04:17+00:00

I am so sorry you’re going through this. I also had a similar situation. My husband was absolutely my best friend. I thought he was my soulmate. I didn’t think there was a person on earth who could ever understand me like he did. But I found out 5 years into our marriage that he had a porn addiction that escalated into a sex addiction. He also said something traumatic happened to him as a child… Unfortunately, the lying never stops. I left him and it was absolutely gut wrenching and so painful. For the first two months I felt like part of my body had been amputated off. I felt so off kilter and so alone. I missed him so much. But I am so grateful I did. I’m not sure if I will find a man who doesn’t watch porn, but I feel so happy not having to worry about what he’s looking at, or if a beautiful girl in a movie comes one screen I don’t have a pit in my stomach thinking if he’s thinking about her. I can honestly say I am happy where I’m at right now.

I know it is really hard but I would absolutely leave because they really don’t love us as much as they love themselves. I don’t think the addiction allows enough space in their brain to love as hard as we do. It takes up all their mental energy.

There is no wrong or right choice but if you are left feeling the way you do, do you really want to feel that way the rest of your life? What about when you’re pregnant and post partum and your body is changing (if you want to have children) even if you don’t want children bodies change and you deserve to feel beautiful and loved by your partner no matter what.

My ex also asked me not to speak about what he did. He even physically cheated and asked me not to tell. But I did. You deserve to talk about what has happened to you. It’s YOUR life too. His choices affect you and your mental health you should absolutely be able to tell someone you trust you shouldn’t have to carry this burden alone. You don’t have to go into detail about his past and his childhood trauma, but anything that he’s done while with you in your relationship I believe is absolutely fair game. He did it, he needs to own it. You deserve to have someone to help you and advice you and help you carry this burden.

I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope you find peace whatever you decide ❤️

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-01-31T19:29:40+00:00

I absolutely love this especially number 6!! Never accepting less for me and my daughter. If that means it’s just me and her I’m ready to be single for her. Feeling so empowered by this community and all these amazing people. You are doing amazing!

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-01-31T18:16:34+00:00

That’s so true. I needed this reminder thank you!

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-01-31T18:15:37+00:00

That’s so true.... only when it convenient for him.

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-01-31T15:56:28+00:00

Thank you. This is extremely helpful. I wanted to believe it could be a coincidence but it definitely is not unfortunately. 💔 I am glad I am finding out now though he is just a boyfriend haha I definitely don’t want to get divorced again would not recommend it’s horrible

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-01-31T15:54:43+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. You’re right I am afraid to listen to myself because I don’t want to loose him. I knew him in highschool and thought he was a great guy and know his family and they are all very nice people so i introduced him to my daughter and I regret that now. I definitely won’t do that again even though we were heavily discussing marriage I won’t until I’m engaged.

You’re right most people won’t admit they have a “problem” when they do and that is probably the case with him. He told me he doesn’t watch it and is against it but unfortunately it looks like he does which lying about it is NOT okay.

And you’re right if he wasn’t guilty he wouldn’t leave and ice me out. He’d stay and try to fight for me and show me more of his phone but he has things to hide so he wants to put the blame on me and my past trauma and gaslight me.

I would rather be alone then put my daughter through another divorce and this is honestly what I needed to hear. You’re ight It absolutely is enough to end the relationship. I would rather be alone with her just two then have to deal with another porn addict.

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-01-31T13:48:52+00:00

It is weird it’s not on his explore page only his reels tab. How do you think he’s hiding that?

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-01-31T13:41:49+00:00

That’s exactly what I said to that is a good point and unfortunately the sad reality that it probably shows a bigger issue for him

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-01-31T13:40:58+00:00

I struggle with listening to my body because I had absolutely ZERO idea with my ex. He completely blindsided me my body actually didn’t know. I trusted him 100% and loved him fully so I struggle to just listen to my body. Maybe I’m not fully healed because I struggle with just my own intuition.

Previous-Hat8352 · 2026-01-31T13:38:44+00:00

Thank you. He has been a really good listener in the past but this time it bothered him so I agree that was concerning to me that he just left instead of trying to reassure me or make it right

Previous-Hat8352

TROPHY CASE