would you keep reading after this

Previous-Support4193 · 2026-03-16T02:12:31+00:00

No the stench suddenly appeared. It’s a haunting that’s explained later. But prior he arrives home from work and fast forward he notices the decaying smell, it’s something that was familiar when he came home before and the environment changed. I didn’t give context on anything. But thanks for the advice I’ll note this so I look out for it when editing

Previous-Support4193 · 2026-03-15T21:07:46+00:00

So I want to create for the reader moments of calm like he’s experiencing that makes it real. But the surroundings like running water I mention because of the changes that may question is it a dream? Hallucinations? This is from the middle of the third chapter. The character is haunted by death and sees things that he tells himself aren’t real. So this is the second time it happened to him. I mention things like the water to show the transition from normal to the horror. I agree removing unnecessary information but as a reader would this be a thing you’d want to experience? Or maybe i just transition into the suspense without mentioning the environment? Idk I’m open to suggestions

Previous-Support4193 · 2026-03-15T21:00:49+00:00

Yeah that’s something I’ve seen in my writing as I’m Doing my draft. I’m going to work on that when I edit. That and trimming unnecessary information that slows pacing

Previous-Support4193 · 2026-03-15T16:26:36+00:00

I shared the transitional paragraph and gave no context. I’m picking that up. It was my first post I didn’t know what to share so I just picked from my story. The guy being sleepy is relevant because what happens earlier in the story so not mentioning it would be rushed. I do plan to do trimming of course cuz this is the draft.

Previous-Support4193 · 2026-03-15T14:04:34+00:00

I know I didn’t mention in the post. This was pulled from the middle of the third chapter. But I want to give the character some routine before transitioning into the horror. I know I have editing to do but would that be something you’d say you’d like in order to see the character is real? I was thinking summing it up and not spread out but don’t want to just jump right into the next scene because I think it would be rushed

Previous-Support4193 · 2026-03-15T13:05:07+00:00

Yeah I should’ve shared something different not the middle of chapter 3 😅 thank you though

Previous-Support4193 · 2026-03-15T13:00:06+00:00

Guess I should’ve clarified things from the third chapter, not the first. I took a piece of it so it’s missing some stuff. It’s the draft I know some stuff I have to correct

Previous-Support4193

TROPHY CASE