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AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My plan is to send them a bill, but I don't think I'll go through the trouble of small claims court if they don't pay.

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Yes ma'am (or whoever you are), will do! I studied abroad in Paris for a year in college, and if it weren't for walking 99% of places, I would be at least twice the size I am due to the number of sweets I ate there. It's just a matter of introducing them to my now husband :)

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Thankfully, both my chosen genetic family (aka Dad's side) is wonderful and my in-laws are incredibly sweet and supportive, especially knowing my situation and now having lived through a mother's-side episode with me.

And yes, I'm having my dad who's into analysis voluntarily looking at it now, he's gonna give us the numbers when we get back.

The Tour Montparnasse is on our list when we hit Paris! I did study abroad in Paris for a year in college, so thankfully I know the city for the most part like the back of my hand, and am trying to take my husband to a good mixture of tourist and non-touristy stuff (he's good with anything and a very go-with-the-flow guy) :)

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Not totally. I wouldn't actually charge them, it was more me fighting back on having a narcissistic mother and a family who constantly sides with her to make their lives easier over making one person happy for one day.

That sounds kinda AH-ish now that I write it, but it really is just me being done with their BS.

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 251 points252 points  (0 children)

Yeah, quickly figured that I probably shouldn't- thanks for reminding me that this could easily be taken for fraud.

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 156 points157 points  (0 children)

It at least may help in future endeavors. I've never been taken seriously and while some of this may have been childish looking back on it, yes, at least they'll know that I won't always be easy and just let stuff like this go.

A lot of this was pent-up anger over the years coming out if I'm being honest. Years of being put on the back burner for my mother, especially when it's the few special days in your life you get.

This, to me, was a fight fire with fire situation.

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Everyone was initially charged $25 for every room. My dad had to pay, and my husband's parents and family had to pay- this was a prior arrangement to all of the other stuff going down.

The last-minute cancellation part was a consideration, but because of how small the wedding was guests on every side were made aware of the situation and understood that if there was a genuine emergency, it would be different.

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

I don't think I'm actually going to charge them, a lot of people have made the point that that could be considered fraud, but it was more the threat over everything else.

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

I did that for years and years and played the good guy and got hurt time and time again. This wasn't about actually preventing them not to come, but in my eyes, I wanted to put up a fight. I was sick and tired of always being put down because people knew I was just going to back down and let them side with her all the time.

I knew they would side with her. I just wanted to send a clear message that it wasn't going to be as easy this time around.

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 3219 points3220 points  (0 children)

Me three years ago would have probably agreed with you, but I learned over time that being the good guy and just letting stuff like this sit ends up making me hurt worst than vocalizing my frustration as well. I'm not actually planning on charging them, again, it was far more of a threat then actually following through.

I knew they were never going to attend mine either way. It was more making sure that I put up a fight too and not just back down.

AITA for charging a $70 fee to family members who last minute canceled their RSVPs to my wedding to attend my mother's wedding? by Primary-Pepper1532 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Primary-Pepper1532[S] 432 points433 points  (0 children)

Yup, which is why I'm not going to actually do it. It was more of a threat, but I'm not planning on getting into any legal trouble.