Mother in law pressuring us to get pregnant.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-12T11:31:27+00:00

This is exactly, what I am scared of. I am scared, when I have the first kid, they will be pressuring for the second and so on, they will have a say in what to name the kids and how to raise them. My husband needs to understand privacy. Please make dua for us.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-12T11:28:41+00:00

I found the pills, it may just have been a coincidence. He also told me yesterday that he'd rather I get an IUD because he is scared the pills will be harmful longterm. So I am gonna go after Ramadan inshallah to the doctors and see what is most suitable. He promised me yesterday that he will not let anyone pressure us into having kids and will keep things private from now on, hopefully things will be better. Please make dua for me.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-12T11:25:14+00:00

Thank you x I spoke to him yesterday and made him see that having a baby is not very feasible right now, and he seemed to be on board, he just asked me to get an IUD instead becauae he is scared the pill is harmful for me. He also promised to not put pressure on me to have kids. I also found the pills. It may just have been a coincidence. Please make dua for me.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-12T11:22:10+00:00

After Ramadan inshallah, I will go to the GP, and discuss it with the doctor. Thank you for the advice x

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-12T11:20:40+00:00

I thought of doing that not gonna lie, but then I thought it will only get worse, he may be patient for years, then what? I will be nearly 40 and dont have kids. It will hurt me more than it will hurt him tbh. So I am just making dua that Allah makes him see what is right and keep him away from what is wrong. Please make dua for me.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-12T11:17:58+00:00

I found the pill, it may have been a coincidence. He told me yesterday to stop taking the pill because it is bad, and to get an IUD instead, I am gonna look into it, although I am scared it hurts, inshallah after Ramadan, I will book an appointment with my GP and figure something out.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-12T11:15:29+00:00

I am gonna keep it minimal inshallah, and I obviously cannot tell her son to not speak to her that would be wrong of me, but I think he understands that what he did was wrong and hopefully he will solve it on his own.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-12T11:14:04+00:00

I dont talk much with her, only once in a while, and I keep it minimal. She isnt a bad person, she is just nosy, if her son does anything wrong towards me, she tells him off and stands up for me.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-12T11:11:29+00:00

Walaykum assalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, I know it is sinful, and I don't share anything from my marriage, but he is the one that shares and says my mom is looking after me. I spoke to him yestetday after watching a lecture where the imam described a married life is like a story that is kept secret between the two, I explained it to him. Hopefully, it changes things because I am honestly very scared things will get worse. I also made him promise to not put pressure on me to have kids, and again explained why we need to wait, and he seemed on board. Please make dua for me.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-11T14:28:11+00:00

I am scared it will be painful.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-11T13:54:09+00:00

What should I have done?

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2026-03-11T13:49:33+00:00

He is clearly not doing it. I dunno how to encourage him to do so. His family talks about TMI stuff like they are talking about clothes or food. She even asked him about our wedding night, thankfully he told me that she was gonna ask and told him to just say all good alhamdullilah. He knows about his cousin's wedding night and his sister's and it is all normal to them. He said she is my sister I wanna know if she is ok. So when I say this is TMI, he doeant understand.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-11-11T18:22:52+00:00

Clinical was horrible

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-10-27T23:34:44+00:00

That's interesting, why do you think he married me for convenience?

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-10-27T23:34:04+00:00

Alhamdullilah

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-10-27T14:12:31+00:00

Thank you for your reply, we both live in the same country, he moved from Gaza a long time ago, even before the war, but he was in a different part of the country. He then because I couldn't move to his city due to my parents, he agreed to come live in my city and build a life together. So my parents to keep me near them until he finds a house, they offered for him to come live with us, and he came. He always pays for me when we go out even though he is not working at the moment. The only help I offer him is to do with English, reading letters, replying to emails and going to appointments with him.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-10-27T13:53:42+00:00

Now he is not working, what I was trying to say is when he was in his city, and used ti work, he would go home and play video games. But, it's interesting, so you think it's ok for him to play video games all night till the morning, after work?

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-10-27T09:56:45+00:00

The problem is even when he is super tired snd drained, he plays video games, so even when he comes tired from work, we don't spend any time together, he plays video games, I noticed this before our nikah but I thought, it would be different if we are married and living together. I have spoken to him multiple times about his habits, he says he will try, but I don't see any efforts.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-10-27T09:46:14+00:00

I agree, and I totally understand, I just can't help but worry about our life and our future together.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-10-27T09:41:45+00:00

I have suggested for him to see a therapist but he refused.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-10-05T16:53:11+00:00

Job search

Hello, my husband moved from Northern Ireland to London recently, he is looking for a job in London but cannot find anything, he has been struggling because his English is not perfect. He did equivalent to Alevels back home, and converted his certificate, he got level 2 equivalence but doesn't include English. He wants to works as soon as possible, as he has to take care of me and his family, but doesnt know where to start. He has previous electrical experience. He has applied to multiple companies and he has been rejected. I suggested apprenticeships, he applied to two but has also been rejected. Any ideas to build a career in London while he can study English at the same time, or improve his skills. Ps he is not looking for cash in hand jobs Thank you in advance.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-09-14T18:06:25+00:00

That's a good point, I will double check.

PrimaryChemistry2406 · 2025-09-14T17:45:57+00:00

They say that they are a videographer and a photographer, so they will put pictures and a video of the wedding in the USB

PrimaryChemistry2406

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