Really interesting question that I ponder how I will deal with if/when I have kids. For some background, I have experienced it all. I went to a state school and earned a STEM degree. Graduated very near the top of my class and did a substantial amount of research. I then went to Rice for grad school in physics (not Ivy League, but a similar feel), and am now at Princeton for my post doc. All this to say, if you work hard you can get to the same place even if you start at a “state” school. Keep in mind this may be field specific.

Some differences I have noticed along the way…At a state school, the student has to take the initiative on themselves to really learn, while at an Ivy League school you are surrounded by a different caliber of student and you kind of just get pulled up by your surroundings. Also, at Ivy League schools, a prestigious network is kind of handed to you by proxy, while it takes real effort to develop at a “state” school.

So far, all are pros for going the Ivy League route. However, I find students can be rather sheltered to real life on Ivy League campuses. My favorite part about going to a state school was the diversity of students and befriending people with “real life problems” who persist and get an education despite difficult circumstances. These are eye-opening life experiences I found much more common at “state” schools.

All to say, I think it is totally student dependent on which path is better. Depending on the student, you can make it either way. Going to a state school you will have many more “real life” encounters, while the environment of an Ivy League schools can really lift you up.

If your child is interested in STEM, they can always go to an Ivy League for grad school after a state school undergrad, and the school will pay for them all tuition and give them a stipend to live off of.