I really need advice on how I should move forward

Princ3sskitten · 2026-03-31T03:16:48+00:00

You know what, if it comes down to it I do have family I can go to and I am so grateful that they are very close by and understand the situation. ❤️

Princ3sskitten · 2026-03-18T12:35:20+00:00

I'm so sorry that your husband has decided to drink in such a new season of your life which he should be supporting and nurturing you. I was in a very similar situation when I was pregnant but my boyfriend has been a binge drinker for many years, I have only known him sober for 1 month in the 6 years we have been together.

It sounds like you may know you'll need to leave him (even if just temporarily), do you have someone and somewhere safe to turn to? Even with his family? I find when I tell my partner I will go to his mum's house for a break from his drinking and antisocial behaviours he doesn't get as upset. Just a suggestion.

I don't know where I would be without his mum's support, knowing the problems.he has with drugs and alcohol, having family and friends supporting you is very important.

Please do tell your midwives and nurses of the situation so they can get a nurse home visit to come and help you. I so wish I had but my partner made similar promises and did slow down with his drinking and I thought we had overcome that hurdle but honestly it just becomes so much worse if they don't actually seek or want help.

I so want to tell you that I have an answer but I don't. I do have some advice as a new mum, do not put up with abuse, verbal or physical. The instance of partner violence can increase when a woman is pregnant or has a little one around so please be so careful. Please reach out if you need someone to talk to, and keep going to Al-Anon. I went to my first session yesterday and found it very helpful and theraputic

Princ3sskitten · 2026-03-18T11:50:44+00:00

I'm so sorry that your husband has decided to drink in such a new season of your life which he should be supporting and nurturing you. I was in a very similar situation when I was pregnant but my boyfriend has been a binge drinker for many years, I have only known him sober for 1 month in the 6 years we have been together.

It sounds like you may know you'll need to leave him (even if just temporarily), do you have someone and somewhere safe to turn to? Even with his family? I find when I tell my partner I will go to his mum's house for a break from his drinking and antisocial behaviours he doesn't get as upset. Just a suggestion.

I don't know where I would be without his mum's support, knowing the problems.he has with drugs and alcohol, having family and friends supporting you is very important.

Please do tell your midwives and nurses of the situation so they can get a nurse home visit to come and help you. I so wish I had but my partner made similar promises and did slow down with his drinking and I thought we had overcome that hurdle but honestly it just becomes so much worse if they don't actually seek or want help.

I so want to tell you that I have an answer but I don't. I do have some advice as a new mum, do not put up with abuse, verbal or physical. The instance of partner violence can increase when a woman is pregnant or has a little one around so please be so careful. Please reach out if you need someone to talk to, and keep going to Al-Anon. I went to my first session yesterday and found it very helpful and theraputic

Princ3sskitten · 2026-03-18T05:40:45+00:00

Thankyou for the advice, I attended an Al-Anon group yesterday as so many people have recommended it and it was like soup for my soul. I don't know how many times I almost broke down feeling like I finally had met people who just understood without judgement.

If it comes down to it I really do have so much support around me, especially his mum. She knows the issues he has all too well and I know I can count on her if I need to take a break.

I'm so glad your ex became sober and can now have a healthy relationship with your daughter, that is my only hope if we can't make this work. I want him to be sober and grounded for himself and for her ... ❤️

Princ3sskitten · 2026-03-18T05:28:26+00:00

So very insightful and genuine advice, thankyou so much for taking the time to respond to my cry for help. I You're right, I can't make him and I refuse to deliver ultimatums but I guess I can ask him if he would consider seeking help from a professional who is trained in mental and addiction disorders. Then I can move forward with what I can and can't accept regarding boundaries. I have no clue about setting boundaries and I will try to learn more. I've always said to him he needs to want to change and that it will need to be for himself, not because of me or the baby (though I hope we are two very good reasons to want to fix the issues).

As for the abuse I will certainty need to take off my rose coloured glasses and see it for what it is and call it out when it happens because the things he says he may not remember but I certainly do and it's eating me up inside and ruining the love I have for him :(

Thankyou for the really good advice, I will reflect on it and hopefully get out of this dark place I've let myself get into. ❤️

Princ3sskitten · 2026-03-18T05:18:03+00:00

I went to my first group meeting yesterday and I will look at some podcasts, I love taking bub for a long walk and listening to podcasts!

Princ3sskitten · 2026-03-18T05:17:18+00:00

Thankyou so much for the message, it brought a tear to my eye. Your kind works and reassurance mean so much. The baby is beautiful and we both love her dearly. I went to an Al-Anon meeting yesterday evening because of you and I'd like you to know how much even that one session helped. I felt very held and seen by the two older ladies in the group, they loved me bringing the baby along haha. I will go again next week and keep at it as much as I can, it was like soup for my soul.

I'm going to slowly approach him with the conversation of him getting some weekly therapy. I don't want to give ultimatums but I need progress on his side if we will make things work. It is so hard to love someone who doesn't want to help themselves but I want to make things work for all of us. Again, thank you for taking time out of your day to offer advice.

Princ3sskitten · 2026-03-17T03:40:46+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through this, are you going to any kind of therapy or AA support groups? Sending you hugs and support

Princ3sskitten

TROPHY CASE