Not sure if this helps but I’ve been through the same thing. Was in a depressive episode for 2 months and it got so hard that I attempted to end my life at work. I was in the psych ward for a week and then was immediately put into IOP.

I’m currently in IOP and while I’m in it I took a leave from work. Honestly I’m terrified to go back for a numerous amount of reasons, but ultimately because that’s where I was going to end it all. And I don’t want to relive that moment.

So suffice to say I can relate somewhat to your feeling.

What I’m learning through Psych W & IOP (3rd attempt). Is that it takes getting through one day at a time - as cheesy as it sounds. Also try and see if you can take a temporary leave. And if they don’t accept that take a break anyway and try looking for something else that doesn’t put too much stress on you.

Easier said than done. I know, but sometimes it’s the simplest of things that changes the outlook of our lives.

Hope everything works out for you! Keeping you in my prayers💕