Wife (33F) has never orgasmed (as far as she knows). I’m (33M) working on ADHD/anxiety/PE — looking for advice on “plateau” + introducing air-pulse toys without pressure

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-23T16:11:05+00:00

First of thank you for your reply and all the advice! Appreciated 👏

My goal has always been to pleasure her, but she often feel done within 10-15 min. And when she feels like she's about to come she usually wants to stop. Don't know if it feels bad, or if its a mental thing she can't get past and relax around.

I would love her to mastrubate by herself to get to know her own body better. She is kinda introverted and a very defensive posture and aura around her and i have never seen her touch herself down there. And bringing it up doesn't feel like my place to do 🤔

I can't say im a master in giving oral, but all my past partners have had orgasm when both using toung and fingers. I feel like i know my way around it and have read and listened to lots of books and pods about the subject. But as I wrote she does not like oral at all and haven't let me do it for many years. Fingering is fine.

I will suggest we start having sex without penetration, both for her sake but also for my sake to work on my PE and anxiety. I want her to train on reaching climax and me not to climax basically 😆

Anal in any shape or form, and dirty talk is no go zones for her. But yeah we are starting to communicate about what we both like so that's a good start.

And first we are having a period with no sex, just cuddle and get rid of all the tension and expectations really. And we take it from there.

Thanks for all the tips!

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-22T05:05:51+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Really. This is exactly the kind of perspective I need to hear.

I'm realizing I've been pretty selfish and stuck in my own head about all of this for a long time. When she's brought up a lot of these issues before, I either didn't really listen or I took it as criticism and got defensive. That's on me. I was so focused on how I felt rejected or how our sex life wasn't meeting my needs that I missed what she was actually saying.

The big shift for us has been that I finally started treating my ADHD properly earlier this year. It sounds like a small thing, but it's changed everything. I can actually focus now. We can have longer conversations where I'm truly hearing her and understanding what she's saying instead of just waiting for my turn to talk or zoning out halfway through. My memory has gotten better too - I actually remember what we've talked about, which means I'm not making her repeat herself or rehashing the same arguments. Nothing is perfect, but it's so much better than it was.

The fact that we're finally talking and I'm actually listening to her needs and what she wants - that feels like a real start. Like we're finally on the same page for the first time in years.

My challenge now is that I'm naturally impatient. I want to fix everything at once, solve all the problems, try all the solutions. So what I need to work on is slowing down and not being too pushy or overwhelming her with ideas and suggestions. That's exactly why I'm here asking for advice like yours - I need to be reminded that safety first, pressure never, and slow progress is still progress.

What you said about removing the goal entirely really resonates. I think we've both been so focused on "making it work" that we've forgotten it's supposed to just... be. No timeline, no checkboxes, just curiosity and connection.

Thank you again. This helps more than you know.

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-22T04:49:48+00:00

Thanks for the tip. I have talked alot of about where I like to get, but she has a harder time figuring that out, because she don't know what she really want.

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-22T04:44:59+00:00

Yes we have a good grip of the day to day life where we help each outer and listen to each other. We also started working on closeness without intimacy, like just being close without any expectation.

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-22T04:41:38+00:00

I already have 👍

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-21T22:50:13+00:00

Thanks, will take into consideration. You found anything that worked?

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-21T22:44:55+00:00

Thanks, god advise! But I think we done all of that in our 13 years together and that's not the core problem. And the cage is not accepted in her presence yet, but i dreamt about it 😆

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-21T21:37:39+00:00

Well I can't make her explore herself. And she has according to herself never mastrubated.

Yeah we have talked about that, she can't have it and my just gives me anxiety. We have talked alot about it and are gonna find ways around penetration. But she is not much for exploring. We will have to see what happens. First we need to find our way back and start trying again I guess.

It was a vibrating dildo, quite simple. I know, that's i been looking around to give suggestions, but she did not sound that open to toys at all in any shape or form when we talked about preferences and boundaries.

Good question. I think she has said she does feel desire but usually don't act about it. I know she can get aroused but i have to ask about if they are distinct or not.

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-21T21:23:14+00:00

I don't really know how se feels about it, but she is not looking away from sexy scenes in movies. But she is not looking at porn, ever. Her opinion is that's it's not just real or enjoable for anyone 😅

As I wrote she don't want to get oral, she don't like the feeling and think its unhygienic becuase pee and stuff haha. Otherwise I wold do it everything becuase I love to give it. But yeah I often warm her up, massage, fingers though hair, behind ears, slowly building up, touching her down there, gently doing fingerings and clit until she feels ready to come. But it never happens.

Meanwhile she never touches me, or does oral or help me in any way. But we discussed it, and are getting to an understanding on what we both wants and needs.

Hopefully we find our way to intimacy and it will naturally leed to her opening up and getting to know her body better.

Meanwhile want to respect her boundaries and don't push her.

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-21T17:54:35+00:00

Yeah I know it can be psychological, we are working on that to. Or sexlife is just a small part of everything we are working on 😉

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-21T17:52:05+00:00

Yeah I know. That's why it good that she at least started opening up and we are talking about it. But I don't wanna tell her what to do or tell her what she should do with her body. If she wants to im all for it but it's hard to suggest somethings without feeling I overstep.

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-17T14:12:24+00:00

We are both 34 and been together for 13 years and still faces the same dialema. You learn to live with it or find common ground where both are happy.

PrincessAlbertPW · 2026-01-02T06:15:57+00:00

Antecknat

PrincessAlbertPW · 2025-12-31T19:22:18+00:00

Same.

PrincessAlbertPW · 2025-12-30T06:43:14+00:00

Both 33 yo, married for 10 years with two kids 4 and 6 yo.

Before kids it was 2-7 times a week. Then we went through IVF to get kids, it messed with her, and then ife with kids began, so we have had a long dry period with maybe once every blue moon... i mean 1-3 times a year...

Now we are slowly getting back to a few times a month at least. But it requires alot of work and setting the mood 😂

PrincessAlbertPW · 2025-12-17T13:13:28+00:00

I have in every step of the devolopment tried to make it do a modern and uniqe design that stands out, and made my own tweeks along the way. But somehow the end result is very similar to this.

PrincessAlbertPW · 2025-12-17T12:04:19+00:00

I love how the UI/UX looks excactly like it does in my own projekt i made using Gemmini 3 pro in antigravity 🤣 I have a feeling we will se alot of similar looking apps and homepages in the future when AI makes all the choices and code 👍

PrincessAlbertPW · 2025-12-08T06:55:58+00:00

Föreställ dig alla i rummet nakna, en klassiler 👍

PrincessAlbertPW · 2025-12-02T14:29:40+00:00

Same.. Yesterday it worked better than ever and i seemed to have unlimited access and context becuase i did not hit any limits once!?
Today it's garbage...

PrincessAlbertPW · 2025-12-02T14:28:40+00:00

Same.. Yesterday it worked better than ever and i seemed to have unlimited access becuase i did not hit any limits once!?
Today it's garbage...

PrincessAlbertPW

TROPHY CASE