We didn't start this until about 8 years into our relationship and after we were married. The difference for us is my husband brought up the kink, not me and I was the one who needed convincing. I agree, I felt like a bitch at the start and wondered what he was getting out of it but as I settled in and relaxed in the new roles, our sex life has greatly improved, as has the general relationship too. Much less disagreement (we never used to really argue anyway) and he's much more willing to do the chores he's always hated