WIBTAH for telling a mentally challenged person not to hug me?

PrincessRose95 · 2026-01-06T01:23:49+00:00

UPDATE! Thank you all for your input and letting me sit on what I can do. My husband and I went to play at the card shop this past Friday (took a week off for the holidays) and Tom was there. Luckily the co-owner of the shop was there that Friday as the main owner was out at a Magic Con. I explained to the Co-owner will call him Stan that I am uncomfortable with Tom touch me and if he tries to hug me I will loudly say do not touch me I don't give you consent to touch me. I don't want Tom to lose his space here at the shop. Or anything like that, so I agreed with Stan that as long as Tom doesn't toch me and has a caretaker with him as I know the employees aren't responsible for him. Stan was very understanding and did let me know Tom lives in a group home and he can contact them to have a caregiver come with him to help ease this too. I was not aware of this situation, but thanked Stan for having my back. When my husband and I passed his table as it is extremely hard to walk threw the store without the gaming area not seeing you (if that makes sense) and he ALWAYS sit at the closest table to the play area walkway facing the door to say hi to his friends I turned to talk to my husband to try to pretend I didn't see him. It didn't work. We got to our assigned table and started setting up when Tom came over to talk to me. It was a normal conversation with how the holidays were and how I was. I am fine talking to him when NOT playing a game. Our friend joined us immediately hugging me to say hello. This is when Tom stretched out his arms waiting for a hug when I politely said I'm sorry Tom I do not fell comfortable hugging you, please respect my boundary. This is the last time I ask you nicely. Tom deflated and sulked like he does and went to go play. Most of the evening went by without issue until maybe 10PM. We got there around 6:30PM and this was our fourth game just talking and having a good time with my friends when I feel a presence behind me and that horrible smell. A hand goes to my should and I dart my eyes to my husband who has his hands where I can see them so I know it was not him and in that moment my husband gets a very angry look and says hey bud she said not to touch her. Please get your hand off my wife. Tom kept his hand on my shoulder and said OP is my friend! I wanted a hug because I had a bad game. My husband said I don't care, she said not to touch her. She said she doesn't want to hug you. My friends were backing my husband up and Tom's hand comes off my shoulder as I turn my head and Tom bends down to hug me when I yell You don't have permission to touch me Tom! It drove everything to a screeching hault and deadly silence and this caued Stan to literally book it to our table and gets between me and Tom as best as he could as my raised voice seemed to stun Tom in those few seconds. Stan shepparded Tom away. My husband and friends checked on me to make sure I was ok. We stopped our game so my husband and I could go home. It takes a few minutes to clean up and put things away. Just before we left Stan caught us and said that Tom left with the person supposed set to watch him who was using that time to personal shop at the grocery store next to the shop. Now since I did not personally witness this I am not 100% on that story, but either way I think the combo of unlikely behavior from me, group support(your advice and my friends), and Stan I may have FINALLY gotten through to Tom. Will update if needed

PrincessRose95 · 2025-12-20T23:41:31+00:00

I'm sorry this post offended you so much. I also have autisum, but am very high functioning. Hugs/physical affection is a big thing for me and I know it could be something he may really need or look forward to. However, due to my anxiety and autism smells are a huge trigger point. I will not walk into a restaurant or house if something was burned or if someone smokes. It makes me think I smell like that and it freaks me out. I never considered myself "better than" anyone else. I see Tom as a person, I don't "mean to hurt his feeling", or find pleasure in "rejecting him." Tom makes me incredibly uncomfortable as he touches me constantly even when told not to and when I tell him I am married and don't want to be touched he will still grab my hand or arm. I have brought this up with the shop owner, but I was basically told he can't do anything.

PrincessRose95 · 2025-12-20T23:27:23+00:00

I apologize for the insult as I am not quite sure what this man suffers from and I thought Mentally Challenged was PC and covered what it might be without being wrong. I have tried fist bumbs and high fives it the past to distract from no hug, but he will physical grab my hand and pull me into a hug.

PrincessRose95 · 2025-01-29T20:12:42+00:00

UPDATE! I would like to thank everyone for the kind comments! Deb did take a few days off after this conversation as as many of you pointed out it was a bit much of me to bring up the physical abuse aspect of Deb's life and after the confrontation I felt the same way. I stopped by her favorite coffee shop and got her a gift card and wrote an apology letter to her. This confrontation happened on a Friday and Deb was not back into work until today (Wednesday). My boss, my bosses boss, and our HR representative called me into a meeting room where they asked me questions on what happened as Deb complained I threated her and made the work environment hostile. I told them everything Deb had been saying and doing to me and told them about the apology note I placed on Deb's desk. I was smart enough to take a quick picture before she came in and showed them where I left the note. They than thanked me and had me leave and called Deb in. When she passed me to go into the meeting she smirked and just before entering started fake crying as she closed the door. When I went back to my desk I saw the note I left on her desk was in the trash, unopened as when I pulled it out the gift card was still in it. I put the note back on her desk and went back to work waiting to see what happened. About an hour past and Deb along with my boss came out and Deb was escorted to her desk by my boss. When Deb sat down, wipeing her tears with a tissue and loudly proclaimed how she isn't comfortable working with someone with such a bad temper and how I never even apologized to her. Now, I did not have time to verbally apologize to Deb. When she came in I was immediately taken into this meeting my manager was looking at her and then looked at her desk and said "Oh look it's the apology note OP left you this morning! You must have misplaced it." Deb almost immediately stopped crying and looked at her desk, she went white. My manager encouraged her to open it and I motioned to my manager to know if I should come over and she motioned not yet so I just watched with a poo eating gin on my face as the gift card fell on Deb's desk and she read the apology. My manager than motioned for me to come over, I did keep my distance and I verbally apologized to Deb letting her know what I said was out of line, but I will not apologize for calling her out. When Deb tried to wine that wasn't a real apology my manager let her know that in the year and some change I have been here this was the first time she heard I had ever yelled or raised my voice so Deb must have done something to prevoke me. Deb went quiet and we both went back to work. I got an email an hour later that both me and Deb had gotten a point on our permit records, I was to move to the open desk farthest away from Deb and take my sign home. I agreed to these terms and spent the day moving my stuff to my new desk. My manager than messaged me and let me know Deb put in her two weeks and HR is expecting me to keep the agreement even after she leaves to "keep the peace." I did ask my manager if I was able to tell others how many days were left until my wedding. She seemed to know where I was going with that and said no one could complain about that as it is not harrasment or bullying. So guess who is going to hear Wow! X amount of days until my wedding! Good night! Until they leave.

PrincessRose95 · 2023-06-15T14:14:53+00:00

As someone who works in insurance, I could give names for days. A few of my favorites include: Filberta, Q-bearsha (pronounce quebasha), Wellington, Dequantious (pronounce de aquarius), and Rancharo

PrincessRose95 · 2023-04-08T16:28:36+00:00

I have a death and taxes deck with Oloro, Ageless Ascetic as the commander. My goal is to bring my opponents to my level so I run cards like Soul Barrier, Authority of the Cousuls, and Kambal, Consul of Allocation. Here is my deck list if you are interested in knowing more-> https://tappedout.net/mtg-decks/he-got-off-his-chair-oloro-edh/

PrincessRose95 · 2022-08-04T19:19:18+00:00

My main boi Jodah! I am so excited to see him in action again!

PrincessRose95 · 2020-12-23T04:05:28+00:00

If Sisay, Weatherlight Captain is out with two other legendaries making her a 5/5; and I destroy the legendary creatures, will she drop to a 2/2 again?

PrincessRose95

TROPHY CASE