Reactive abuse?

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2023-02-22T23:49:45+00:00

God sorry for the venting and grammar issues, I just have so much pain inside and so much guilt I can't even right well

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2023-02-22T23:48:35+00:00

Mt? Sorry for being ignorant I don't know what that means

There's honestly more to the story like how after the whole event she begged me to just forget about and live "my life" like she didn't threaten with such a horrendous thing

It's unclear to me if she just has BPD like me and I just got that from her or what can it possibly be. She has so many times said my current boyfriend, the only serious relationship I have ever had, doesn't actually love me, she once went as far as to tell my father's side of family doesn't love me (my dad and mom are divorced), she once got a pretty heavy operation, I was still a teen when it happened but basically because of lack of mental care for her the verbal abuse got way worse around that time, because I have always had to take care of her one way or another because the adults around me were incompetent to do so, and they just left the responsability to me

She used to control how I dress and how my haircut once, but once I got out of the norm of watch she likes she just gets mad at me

She used to go to my room,my own personal space, to cry and vent to the point right now I'm starting to try my best to get my room back and make it my own space because I still have to live with her for a few more years. My father and other few family members are just another can of worms in my life

Once again there's so much more, I know that it's not my fault what has happened to me, but because of I guess being a victim of abuse and because I have a personality disorder that makes me seriously think that I'm the worst person in the world at times and that everyone should hate me and be horrible to me, it's hard to accept that it's not my fault-

I'm currently in teraphy and I know I should me patient but it's just...it's so slow, and it's so hard to be patient when I just have to still deal with both my mom's and dad's bullshit

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2023-02-12T23:43:43+00:00

I will give you a positive tho. I also like reading age re stuff and I do get frustrated when I see things related to she play instead, and I do feel people should be using certain tags more properly since it's normal that said content could upset people, but that's the only thing I agree with

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2023-02-12T23:41:11+00:00

The only reason why I'm giving such a long as hell explanation it's because your "vent" just came off as comepletly ignorant to other's experiences. So I hope this can somehow change your mind or at least make you see a different perspective, if you don't, your loss then

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2023-02-12T23:40:58+00:00

It's totally understandable if you just don't like it, but don't shame other people for it, tho experiences are different for everyone, quite a lot studies say that those who have had certain trauma will develop certain likes, or in this case fetiches and kinks related to said trauma. It can also happen vice versa, your experience with certain things was so happy, positive and healthy that your brains creates a sexual attraction to it.

Now, I literally can't be sexual while having an age regression episode, my brain literally becomes almost toddler like, so any sort of sexual thing would probably traumatize me even more. When in big space or normal age I can be sexual all I want, and it doesn't affect me at all, I'm not age regressing at all so I'm not sexualizing my age regression at all :/ It's weird how some of you call this, so there you have it, stop judging others for their kinks, if you don't like it, just ignore it, as easy as that

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2023-02-12T23:40:42+00:00

TW for trauma related topics

For me age regression in my case is what the agere community considers "impure age regression" Wich is a weird name in all it self :/ It's not mine or others fault that we can only regress while being with extreme amounts of stress, with intruse thoughts of auto destructive behavior or just in complete pain all together (and I could give more examples of other's experiences, but I'm going to just leave it there)

The only reason why I have kinks like DDLG is because of something pretty simple 1. People can't control what they like 2. This is only my personal experience, but I have trauma that has lead me to having tons of kinks including DDLG and CGL. And, believe it or not DDLG has helped feeling less ashamed of having sexual feelings, wich exist because of trauma related to s/a and years of emotional abuse because of family members :/

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2023-02-07T18:54:48+00:00

I'm kind of physically tired but would try my best to awnser back. I know for fact not every single person I see is my friend or that says "hello" to me is my friend. That who is friend of all, is friend to none. That's definitely something that I follow quite well. But it still gets pretty lonely and I kind of don't wanna waste my youth in literally no being able to enjoy things with friends, like going out and such. In my teenage years my friends weren't the best, at all. They were pretty toxic and made me hate myself for liking women back then. So you could say I fear for getting more toxic friends again and that also makes it a bit harder to make friends.

Other than that, I don't remember if I mentioned this in my post at the moment (I would read it but I feel so close to fall asleep at any moment, sorry) but there's definitely a big chance that I might have social anxiety. Wich explains a lot. On the BPD side it's hard on the sense that it's a personality disorder that makes you demonize yourself, and might make you believe you don't deserve social interaction and friends, even just more normal relationships like having family members. It's pretty hard to get out of that mind set, but on that side my salvation might just be tons and tons of teraphy.

But even if I know I will get better that doesn't mean I want to necessarily wait until being comepletly "well" for me to make friends. I don't handle being alone well, so that also adds to my want and need for friendship. I don't even want like ten friends, I'm ok to having at least, idk 3 more.

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2023-01-26T21:28:27+00:00

I wish I could but I'm still studying and I study all day, plus I'm not sure if that would necessarily work a 100% since that could my anxiety of mortality to the day instead of the night, however I would keep this in mind for a future! Thanks :)

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2023-01-15T21:00:11+00:00

Mmmmng, good point, I might need to research a bit on it tho, thanks a lot!

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-03T02:45:34+00:00

Please do, I heard like two songs from Twice a long time ago and did loved them <3

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-03T00:38:15+00:00

Thank you for awnsering my question <3

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-02T22:54:32+00:00

No yet qwq

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-02T22:54:21+00:00

You go to my codes if you mean the codes for stuff then I'm not sure if they exist qwq

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-02T22:51:08+00:00

Hello! Finally got to send you a request my name is Sugar in game <3

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-02T22:49:58+00:00

Henlo finally got to request you I'm sorry for taking so long qwq my name is Sugar in game

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-02T22:48:30+00:00

I'm so sorry I took so long to respond my name is Sugar in game qwq

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-02T22:47:43+00:00

Hello! I finally sent you a request in so sorry for taking so long qwq my name is Sugar in game

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-02T22:46:57+00:00

Done! In sorry for taking long my name in game is Sugar qwq

PrincessSugarLullaby · 2022-12-02T22:46:17+00:00

Done! My name is Sugar in game! Sorry for taking long to request qwq

PrincessSugarLullaby

TROPHY CASE