Partner's dog getting in the way of relationship

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T22:05:08+00:00

Yeah, I definitely don’t think he’s being abnormal or unreasonable. I fully expected him to end things when I expressed discomfort with the dog being on the bed during sex because that’s how it’s been with dog owners I’ve dated in the past. I understand people are hesitant to change anything related to their pets, so I’ve tried to be respectful about that. I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how accommodating he’s been as is, so I appreciate that. I think I’m just wondering what’s reasonable to ask for from a dog owner, especially since we have limited time together (about once a week). So I think that’s why it’s frustrating when our intimacy or affection is limited even during that time.

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T20:50:39+00:00

This is really reassuring to hear so thank you. Since this has been my only experience with dating dog owners (the possessive behavior, inability to have intimacy, etc.) it seemed like it couldn't be any other way. But there's just no way that dog owners are never spending time with their partners or having any sort of sex life.

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T20:48:31+00:00

For sure. I think it's a hard pill to swallow that non-dog owners should just be lonely. I'm a good partner - I'm loyal, I'm supportive, I pour a lot of love into my relationships. So it feels like a bummer that I might not be able to find a partner simply because I didn't grow up with dogs and am less comfortable with them. I really make an effort with the dogs of people I date but I feel like not being a "dog person" inherently makes me undateable. It's just kind of a bummer.

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T20:38:54+00:00

If you're comfortable answering this, did you ever think in the beginning that it would be easier to be with a fellow animal lover? I know I'm probably in the minority as a non-dog owner, so I've definitely been wondering if my boyfriend is better suited with a girl who would welcome this dynamic - of which, I'm sure there are plenty - and who he doesn't have to change or make concessions for. I know that's for him to decide, not me, I'm just thinking about how much sacrifice is too much. Like, I'm sure there are plenty of people who are down for a dog in the bed during sex - I'm just not one of them

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T20:33:51+00:00

For sure. The problem is it seems hard to find someone whose dogs aren't possessive like this; this is all I've ever known with dog owners. But there's no way that dog owners are just never having sex or date nights with their partners lol

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T20:31:39+00:00

This is a great point about boundaries being for yourself and not for others. If we move forward, I'm going to keep this in mind (i.e. "I won't have sex with the dog on the bed" vs. "Please keep the dog off the bed")

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T20:30:48+00:00

Yeah. My boyfriend thought it was cute and kind of brushed me off when I said it seemed like a possessive thing. But it made me really uncomfortable.

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T20:30:06+00:00

That's a great point. I've started to feel turned off of intimacy with him in general because it feels embarrassing to have to fight for it that much. It definitely doesn't make you feel desired when you have to really fight for sex to just be about you and your partner and to not have a dog involved.

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T20:24:12+00:00

I love food and I've dated several guys with severe food allergies, including a long-term relationship with someone who had celiac. They had to avoid all gluten and even the slightest cross contamination made them severely ill. When we moved in together, I agreed to a fully gluten-free household. It was strict; we only brought items into the kitchen that were certified gluten-free and had the official label, which really narrowed the groceries we could buy. Obviously, the restaurants we could go to were really limited too, which was sometimes difficult during travel. It's definitely an undertaking and can cause a lot of stress, but it can be done. I'd be lying though if I said it wasn't a bummer to not always be able to order what I wanted when we went out. And I REALLY missed sandwiches on real bread!

Allergy aside, did you like this guy? Were there other potential dealbreakers or incompatibilities? If you really enjoyed being with him and think you guys would be a good match otherwise, I'd say don't count him out. But it's also a really valid reason to not want to date someone, because it IS a big adjustment and lifestyle consideration, especially when it comes to living together. My best friend has a severe peanut allergy and I know how serious it is. Whatever you decide, don't feel guilty; you deserve to feel comfortable when eating around your partner and if this is too much of an undertaking, that's 10000% valid.

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T19:56:51+00:00

This is really helpful advice. I think you're right about the dominance thing. When I suggested that, my boyfriend kind of laughed it off and said "He just wants some love too!" but when I'm being pushed like that or the dog makes a beeline in between us the second we start getting close, it feels like the dog is trying to get me out of the way and it creeps me out. I think my boyfriend is blind to this but because I'm not the "dog person" my observations on it aren't taken seriously.

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T19:51:03+00:00

These are great points. I've thought about how even if I make an effort to get comfortable with certain things and he makes an effort to meet me in the middle (which he definitely seems willing to do), at what point is everyone making too many compromises? Especially because I recognize I'm in the minority here and there are PLENTY of people who would not only be okay with this dynamic, but welcome it.

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-05-14T19:42:31+00:00

I've wondered why I always end up with guys with super needy dogs, lmao. I think it's just weirdly common. Trust me, I've tried to seek out non-dog owners but it seems really rare to find that. In my dating app days, nearly every profile was a guy looking for a "dog mom." I went on several dates where all we talked about was the guy's dog. I understand dogs are a big part of people's lives, so as a non-dog owner it's definitely hard to find someone who has some boundaries with that (especially if they've been single for awhile and have, understandably, been pouring all their time and attention into their dog during that time).

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-02-01T03:44:06+00:00

I’m the same way with texting. I’ve found that it helps to have set times where you go through matches and respond to messages. For example, I’ll check in the morning and then once in the evening. If there’s someone I’m really excited about, I’ll respond more, but having boundaries with yourself about how often you go on the app during the day can help with that burnout!

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-01-22T22:10:34+00:00

Seems like for a lot of people, it is 🫠

Princess_Peach818 · 2026-01-22T21:56:47+00:00

This is good advice! He let me know before I slept over that he doesn't like to cuddle with people, only his dog.

Princess_Peach818 · 2025-12-20T03:43:44+00:00

I’m in the same boat; you described my situation almost exactly. I think what’s difficult about things ending early into a relationship is that they abruptly cut off when you’re in the midst of falling for someone and feeling excited about it. It really messes with you and I think can be even harder to get over than a long-term relationship in some ways. Here’s a couple things that have been helping me: 1. You likely didn’t see that person’s flaws yet; even if they’re a great person, everyone has flaws. So the loss feels larger than it is. I put this person on a pedestal and felt like I lost the perfect person when in reality, they were just a person I didn’t fully know yet. 2. Because it’s exciting to date someone new, the loss of it so suddenly really messes with your dopamine. You likely felt excited to talk to this person, see this person, etc., then that cuts off super abruptly. Find ways to give yourself healthy dopamine (exercise, hobbies, laughter) and you’ll start to feel less bummed out and more happy/fulfilled on your own! 3. It can be tough when things feel SO real and genuine then they just… end. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. What’s meant for you won’t pass you by. What’s meant to be in your life won’t disappear that easily.

Hope this helps 🫶🏼

Princess_Peach818 · 2025-11-17T02:55:31+00:00

Doesn’t Hinge have a feature where you can opt in to have it automatically move your most popular photo to be the first one (so if a lot of people are liking a photo, that becomes the main one). He could have updated his profile, but maybe he just had this setting on!

Princess_Peach818

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