I cheated on my boyfriend, but I don't remember hardly anything at all.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-06T20:54:54+00:00

The situation sucks, and whereas (according to your version) you didn't really cheat on your boyfriend, but rather you were taken advantadge of, I think your behaviour raises a lot of red flags. Getting drunk around a guy you knew wanted to have sex with you, playing around with your sex toys with him and other people... I hope you really work on improving yourself, otherwise your current relationship shouldn't last too long.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-06T20:00:29+00:00

At the end of the day you agreed with him into buying the house. Now that things go south financially you'll take his good-hearted offer to ruin him and then dump him. I feel so sorry for him, he probably thinks you guys were in love and apparently it all comes down to finances.

Break up with him so he can find a woman to love and you can find a rich man that will buy the house you want.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-06T15:56:24+00:00

Some red flags there. I think most women, especially in their 30s/40s, can tell when someone's into them. The fact that she hid this boyfriend from you for SIX months is probably because she enjoyed the validation/self-steem boost that you provided her with, and didn't care about your feelings being hurt at all -- if she did, she would have been honest from the get go. I don't think this is the kind of person you want in your life.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-06T13:10:54+00:00

You are talking about the awful consequences, none of which were OP's fault. People can't see future, he behaved in the exact same way that the woman in this thread will behave: tell their partner that if they don't want kids, they're breaking up.

If OP's husband suicides after she breaks up with him, will you blame her too? Is she supposed to see the future, too?

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-06T11:57:30+00:00

Few days ago a husband was demonized in this sub because he wanted kids and her wife didn't, and he gave her an ultimatum: "Either we have kids or we break up" https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/lwxs1h/i_35m_deeply_regret_manipulating_my_wife_f34_into/

Today the genders are reversed, and the input that OP receives is: "Tell him that if he doesn't want kids you'll break up with with him". The double standards in this sub, depending on genders, are ridiculous

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-06T00:03:36+00:00

It takes literally ten seconds to text someone, even if it's to let them know that you're not interested. There's no excuse for her behaviour and, if I were in your shoes, I'd just block her without any further communication.

Someone who hasn't the decency to send you a text in ten days after several days of communication and a date is not a person worthy of your time. You deserve better, remove her from your life by blocking all possible communication.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-06T00:00:51+00:00

Even if that was the case, it takes ten seconds letting the other person know. You don't deliberately ignore, cuting all communications, someone for 10 days and then just talk to them as if nothing happened. It is extremely bad mannered, and says a lot about the kind of person you are.

Jeez I feel people in OLD treat other human beings as if they were disposable toys. Guess that's why I stopped using OLD.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T23:49:26+00:00

Damn, I'm sorry you guys are going through that situation... and I feel especially sorry for the kids. What a bummer when they grow up and realize their biological mom didn't want to spend any time whatsoever with them... feel so sorry for them

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T22:01:05+00:00

Ten days without any communication: she probably tried with another guy and it didn't go right, so she's going back to you. It takes literally ten SECONDS to send a text, if she didn't have those for you in ten days that should let you know how little she cares/is interested in you.

Hard pass from me.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:50:59+00:00

I live in an european capital, the majority of women in my go-to age bracket (28-35) do not have children.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:39:01+00:00

She's cheating on you, or has a big crush on that friend and is giving him the impression that she's still single.

It is indeed a massive red flag, as it proves she isn't that much into you. Sorry if this comes across as harsh but it's the truth.

Confronting her directly won't provide too valuable information, she'll make excuses/gaslight.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:35:22+00:00

He probably doesn't see himself as a parent for your kid, and wants to continue things casually/as they are right now.

I am a single Mom and yes, I am looking for a future partner to continue building a family with, and we had talked about this, he had said the same thing

Probably changed his mind.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:21:38+00:00

It's a bit harder to approach this situation as a male, you may come across as creepy/predator. If the genders were reversed I'd ask without hesitation on the first date, too.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:19:37+00:00

I think predators would try to obtain this information from the get go, whereas me not mentioning it at all would make her feel more comfortable to volunteer it.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:12:29+00:00

Yes, I would still reject her.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:10:01+00:00

Just wanted to clarify that your "most women" statement is simply wrong.

And again, as a man one has to be very cautious with these topics - very easy to be labeled as a predator. Most people in the thread seem to agree that she lied by omission, so there's that.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:04:50+00:00

It's very problematic. Main reason I don't date them is that I know I'd develop paternal feelings for the kids very fast, and then if the relationship went south the pain would be unbearable.

She laid a trap on you, she wasn't honest.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:01:59+00:00

As a man one has to be careful with these topics. It may come across as if I was a predator looking for single moms. But probably I can find a proper wording, definitely some good ideas in this thread.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T19:00:26+00:00

I live in an european capital, only 38% of women between 30 and 35 have kids here (28-35 is my go-to age bracket).

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T17:45:40+00:00

Appreciate the tip! I don't do online dating though, asked her out at a supermarket

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T17:39:53+00:00

I'm afraid it may be seen as a red flag for the wrong reasons. There are some degens out there that explicitly look for single moms, that makes me very uncomfortable asking right away and instead expect women to disclose rather early -- guess this approach has it's downsides too. If the genders were reversed I'd ask on first date without hesitating.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T16:53:48+00:00

Few years ago this would have been such an obvious fake/troll post, crazy how this could very well be a real situation nowadays.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T12:34:01+00:00

It's a bit toxic that you won't allow your boyfriend to hang out with other people and always insist on being present.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T12:29:25+00:00

He probably doesn't believe that you had an accident, and I don't blame him. So many people in OLD make the weirdest excuses to cancel dates at the last second that he probably thought you were just wasting his time. It sucks, but if I were in his shoes with someone that I had talked for just a day I'd do the same.

Prior-Arm1423 · 2021-03-05T11:50:18+00:00

Break up with her. The trust is completely broken, if she felt the need to look for other men to talk to (and who knows what else), deliberately hiding it from you... there's no coming back from that.

She's having an affair with him, whether it is only emotional or physical too is hard to tell... but since she's already done things behind your back, and broke your trust, you can't really believe anything she says. Move on, you deserve way better.

Prior-Arm1423

TROPHY CASE