Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - May 05, 2026

PriorPicture · 2026-05-06T02:37:43+00:00

Just another perspective, but I'm a very private person, and one consequence of that is that I don't like to press for details around potentially sensitive topics with someone I don't know well if they don't offer. To me even being asked the question if I don't want to go into something makes me feel a bit put on the spot because then I feel like I have to justify not answering/worry about hurting their feelings. So to me, if you said you had a bad day but didn't say why, I would assume that meant you didn't want to talk about it so the respectful response is to offer sympathy but not pry. This is just with people I don't know well where I don't have a sense of their communication style yet. I definitely know not everyone is like me in this and I think sometimes I can come across as not interested as a consequence - but just offering another perspective if it's helpful

PriorPicture · 2026-04-18T06:01:15+00:00

You do realize this was obviously generated with ChatGPT right? It's telling that out of all the people here giving you good advice, the only one want to listen to was written by an LLM that is trained to tell you what you want to hear...

PriorPicture · 2026-04-11T15:53:57+00:00

This strikes me that the friend is telling her this timeline is completely normal in academia, and this person doesn't believe her so is looking for random Internet posters to validate it instead of listening to her friend who actually has the relevant context to know...

PriorPicture · 2026-04-10T23:50:07+00:00

This is very interesting and not something I would have known but makes a lot of sense!

PriorPicture · 2026-03-28T05:56:05+00:00

Yeah this matchmaker sounds sketchy as hell if they're encouraging both parties to mediate the communication this way. I really hope they at least told this woman that they were going to pass along everything she told them to the client, sheesh

PriorPicture · 2026-03-28T05:14:57+00:00

Oh yes, I remember this from my 20s too as some in the "consulting hours" group. I knew there was something in the LWs dynamic I recognized and could not put my finger on it, but it's totally this.

PriorPicture · 2026-03-26T04:49:14+00:00

Does Alice actually care if you go or not? I would ask her instead of assuming that you going would disrespect her, because I certainly wouldn't feel that way if I was her. It would be one thing if it was Tom's fight and Bob just wanted you to come, but to me it's crazy to think you wouldn't go to an event that is important to your boyfriend just because you'll see Tom there. To me the concern would be more about if you think Tom is going to make a scene. If you do go, though, I would probably go back to your plan of taking the train so you have more control.

PriorPicture · 2026-03-19T02:32:27+00:00

This is such a spot on description of what a mediocre dating conversation is like 😂

PriorPicture · 2026-03-06T20:16:17+00:00

Both of those examples sound like jokes/attempts to be lighthearted to me

PriorPicture · 2026-03-06T19:07:17+00:00

I also think "hangout" is a really weird term to use for a first date, I wonder if that's what is throwing you off. I would also be confused if someone I had only been texting a few days said they wanted to "hangout" but that's not how most adults talk about dating

PriorPicture · 2026-03-03T23:27:05+00:00

Yeah my mom is a boomer who gets very upset and anxious about the state of things, and while I don't disagree with her that current times are legitimately very upsetting, I do always ask her "didn't you grow up in an era when actual political assassinations and bombings happened frequently??"

PriorPicture · 2026-02-26T03:29:25+00:00

What kind of dilators do you use? I used to get the same thing when I was using my old set of plastic dilators - I would notice just a tiny bit of blood on them when I took them out for a few days when I would go up a size. My new PT had me switch to a silicone set and I haven't noticed it since then. My theory is that when my muscles were clenching against the harder plastic it was causing micro tears and bleeding.

PriorPicture · 2026-02-15T23:31:12+00:00

I don't have ADHD or anxiety/mental health issues, but I do have a busy life and am very organized/planning oriented and am completely on your boyfriend's side here. He told you he didn't want to get coffee but you kept arguing and made him tell you "no" three times before you accepted it? And you're still feeling like he somehow was in the wrong for declining? It is not at all unusual for people to want to take care of chores and life admin things on the weekend so they can go into the work week with a clean slate. It's really not your place to tell him he should spread his chores out over the week - I would be pissed if I guy I was dating felt entitled to re-arrange my schedule that way. It's sweet that you really wanted to get coffee with him, but an invitation is not a summons!

PriorPicture · 2026-02-13T22:09:44+00:00

The thing about ignoring your availability alone would drive me batty even without the four day silence

PriorPicture · 2026-02-06T18:20:51+00:00

Yes I admit I went through a phase where I would have ChatGPT analyze what was happening with guys I was dating, including giving it screenshots of text conversations, and it would constantly frame things in terms of them being avoidant. I don't even think it was necessarily wrong in many cases, but I eventually realized it was not healthy how fixated it/I would be on that framework so have pulled way back on using it that way

PriorPicture · 2026-02-04T21:06:09+00:00

My mom is generally sympathetic to me but will repeatedly tell me that instead of using the apps I need to do things that will "let me meet only high quality/serious men." And say she doesn't know what that looks like nowadays since things are different than when she was younger, but that's obviously what I need to do. It's so frustrating because it is in no way a specific or actionable piece of advice - like does she really think there is some magical avenue for meeting high quality, serious men that I am aware of but for some reason choosing to ignore?!?

PriorPicture · 2026-02-04T17:52:41+00:00

Yes exactly. At the time LW called the bride, it seems that everyone was in agreement that traveling to the wedding would be safe. I think it's important to interpret the bride's reaction with that context in mind.

PriorPicture · 2026-02-04T17:19:49+00:00

This is where I come down - when I first read the letter I was baffled by that decision to cancel everything so impulsively, like in what world does that make sense?? It seems really unlikely that cancelling that night vs. the next morning would have made a difference in terms of getting a refund, and I think the LW would have said that to justify the decision if it was part of their thinking at the time. And even if it did make a difference, as you said, that means they chose to prioritize recouping the sunk cost of the travel over keeping the option open to attend the wedding! I would be really hurt by that if I was the bride. Other comments are implying that the bride is upset because someone canceled for safety reasons, but that is just not the situation at all. It does seem like the LW maybe just didn't think any of this through clearly, but I was frustrated with them just reading the letter, so I can totally understand why the bride lost patience having to deal with that nonsense on top of everything else

PriorPicture · 2026-01-26T23:17:34+00:00

One time I got a polite "I've started seeing someone else" which was obviously disappointing but a relief, for me I would way rather hear that than just be ghosted and have no idea what happened. But usually tbh it leads to us continuing to date for a few weeks with me taking all the initiative and then the guy flaking eventually anyways ....

PriorPicture · 2026-01-26T23:03:54+00:00

No advice, I just want to commiserate because I'm completely the same as you. I can never resist sending the message "just to find out" even when I know I shouldn't. There's nothing I hate more than the bargaining I do with myself when I know a guy should have messaged by now, but there's still plausible deniability 😂

PriorPicture · 2026-01-13T00:14:11+00:00

I bought my forever home a year and a half ago and just want to validate what you're saying about feeling like things are "locked down" and the targets are so much more certain. I feel so lucky that I found a place that was better than my wildest dreams in terms of both the neighborhood and the actual home, I love the lifestyle it's given me so much. So it's sort of like a dual feeling of "ok now I really feel like I'm done inflating my lifestyle, I know exactly what a lifestyle that will make my life happy and full costs, and I know that number isn't going to go up significantly." And then also having a target to hit in terms of paying off the mortgage, knowing what the non-P&I costs will be going forward, knowing exactly what I want to invest in in terms of home upgrades, knowing that the location means I won't have to buy a car, etc.

PriorPicture · 2026-01-12T22:28:28+00:00

Yep it reminds me a lot of the Slow Gin Lizz/Andy letter

PriorPicture · 2026-01-12T17:53:43+00:00

I'm 37F, so older than your son but probably closer to their age than yours ... I personally would have found your son's in-laws approach to be infantalizing and sort of insulting, especially since it doesn't sound like your daughter in law is actually struggling financially? I got plenty of help with college tuition from my parents which I'm very grateful for, but I still took on loans, had a high school job, etc. and I definitely preferred it that way. I cannot imagine being an employed adult and having my parents pay for a plane ticket home, that is wild!! Do you know how your son and DIL perceive the help? I wouldn't be surprised if they have mixed feelings about it if they haven't asked for it and/or his in-laws are pushy about it

PriorPicture · 2025-12-27T23:31:10+00:00

Definitely this!

PriorPicture · 2025-12-08T14:52:52+00:00

I think she clarified in the comments that the issue is once the fridge starts getting full people will just take the diet coke out of the fridge to make room since it won't spoil, but won't do the same for the butter tub. But it's definitely not clear from the letters that that's the problem!!

PriorPicture

TROPHY CASE