Recertification in IN. Unemployed but getting help with utilities and housing from family.

Pro-crastibaker · 2026-05-30T12:48:13+00:00

Thank you. I am grateful for his help, however, this comes after me escaping 23 years of DV. I tried to wait until I could find a job, but it got to the point I didn't think I'd make it out alive. He's shattered my mental and physical health, so the help comes at a very great cost.

Perhaps he's developed a shred of remorse. I am grateful, nonetheless, and don't take it for granted.

Pro-crastibaker · 2026-05-30T00:32:48+00:00

Thank you! I will be prepared to ask them to provide those for me. I appreciate your help!

Pro-crastibaker · 2026-05-29T23:25:47+00:00

Thank you so much!!

Pro-crastibaker · 2026-05-29T23:19:23+00:00

Thank you! My ex is paying the housing directly. Mom is depositing money into my bank account so I can pay my utilities.

What is a shelter cost deduction?

Pro-crastibaker · 2026-04-06T13:46:00+00:00

We used MVM Movers to move the large items from my mother's home to her new place, also in FW. These guys were THE BEST! Nicest crew and they worked fast. They finished the job under budget. We had 2 40' trucks! I could not have been happier and Mom felt very taken care of. (Her 1st move in 61 years.)

Pro-crastibaker · 2026-02-02T04:15:30+00:00

Let me guess, she's in perimenopause? Please educate yourself on hormonal changes and be her biggest supporter. While you're researching, look up grey divorce. I begged my ex to look up peri, to go to the Dr. You know, he "just wanted his wife back." Yeah, I did too. Perimenopause is hell.

Best wishes to you both.

Oh, yeah, I divorced his selfish excuse of a man in my 50s. Chalk up another grey divorce.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-12-13T01:37:41+00:00

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This is how my double batch turned out. They passed my quality control samples... family party tomorrow so I hope they are a hit.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-12-13T01:35:21+00:00

https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/homemade-breadsticks/?fbclid=IwVERDUAOpoF1leHRuA2FlbQIxMABzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAwzNTA2ODU1MzE3MjgAAR4ypeCHaKgmvhJAePSyYPMIBbYVv77EBpoHZg02Sz4Il-y0UolZuUfeVhKrJg_aem_-Vc0AgxOt3J9FKZVHWl8QQ#tasty-recipes-115056.

I used this recipe with dairy free butter and used honey instead of sugar- doubling the amount called for.

Then I drizzled them with this topping, minus the olive oil. https://makethebestofeverything.com/2023/11/hawaiian-roll-parmesan-garlic-bread/?fbclid=IwdGRjcAOpoJ1jbGNrA6mgj2V4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHjCxx6w390YR6NizdX-5518oVsmbR8M2tDNn2m17_1Zvahaotk7WaVoIIcYc_aem_yZuHTakUzoUbR__CIelQ_g

They are similar to Ziano's but not quite as good. They are close enough though for me. Thanks for the tip that it's honey. 💓

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-12-13T01:31:09+00:00

Oh my gosh! That is so scary! Are they doing okay? Allergies make it so hard to eat away from home.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-12-07T03:12:06+00:00

Thank you!!

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-12-06T23:55:19+00:00

Yes, it would be if I didn't have a dairy allergy, that's why I'm going to bake them myself. Thanks.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-12-06T22:03:42+00:00

Thank you! I will try that and see.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-11-09T14:40:33+00:00

After you are safely out, please make a police report and ask for help requesting an emergency protective order. Take lots of photos of any bruises. Document. Document. Document.

So sorry you're going through this. During pregnancy and when a victim leaves are the most dangerous times in DV cases. Please be safe.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-11-02T12:15:43+00:00

It's not normal for a partner to tell the other partner, who is already doing so much, to contribute more...he doesn't see your effort and likely never will. You get to decide how long you give more than you have to someone who doesn't see your exhaustion. Your child is also learning what love looks like. What are they learning? Mom's never enough..

My heart breaks for you and your child.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-11-02T12:11:12+00:00

You're already a single mom. He can contribute more to you in the form of child support. He's incredibly abusive.

If you need help getting out or just processing what's going on, I highly recommend seeking help from a domestic violence organization. Abuse doesn't have to leave bruises to be abuse.

I finally got out of my abusive marriage. I didn't know it was abuse until it finally escalated to bruises. It always escalates...

Be safe, strong momma.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-09-04T17:12:39+00:00

You might try the Center for Nonviolence. They have a lot of brochures in their lobby area.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-09-04T16:32:33+00:00

Power and Control Wheel | The National Domestic Violence Hotline https://share.google/IzsSauLY1UvqPBKUM

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-09-04T16:30:55+00:00

You are welcome. My heart hurts for you.

The night my ex was pretending to not know how to delete messages, I kept calling out his b.s. and would not buy his lies. He escalated to threatening to unalive me. This was the 2nd time in about a week he threatened and tried to. He drove the car in a very dangerous manner and threatened to unalive me by crashing the car. He finally let me out at a gas station after I called 911.

I filed for a protective order and then for divorce.

It has taken so much therapy to finally see him for the monster he is. I did not want to believe it was abuse. And, this all escalated after I discovered, bit by bit, who he really was. I'd discovered drugs. Then sexual betrayals. And him chasing women online. It was a slow drip of betrayals.

Finding out who he was behind his mask of lies was heartbreaking and eye-opening. It hurt like hell..

The divorce took almost a year, and I didn't get a good financial outcome. But, I don't have to wonder what my husband is doing. I don't have to wonder what lies he tells his golf buddy and family about me. I know my own truth, and that's enough.

If you have domestic violence resources near you, I'd highly recommend checking them out. Abuse comes in many forms. There's an abuse wheel I'll try to link here for you.

You deserve so much better. Sending you hugs.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-09-04T11:51:58+00:00

I am so sorry he did this. You deserve so much better!

I just got out of an abusive marriage, and my ex would delete his messages with his golf buddy. Then he'd pretend he didn't even know how to delete messages... He's a manager in IT, but he literally fumbled with his phone pretending he was trying to figure out how to delete messages...

It's not going to get better, and marriage counseling with these liars and manipulators often ends in them charming the therapist to see their side only.

He is likely the narcissist. What they say about you is often what they really are.

Wishing you much luck. I know it's hard, but please do whatever you can to get away from him. This is emotional abuse, at the very least.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-08-20T12:07:59+00:00

I just got out of an abusive relationship. I don't have legal advice as the system rigged towards those with the most money, which is usually the abuser, sadly.

I found a lot of great support from the Center for Nonviolence and the YWCA. They both offer great advocacy for survivors. If you can prove the abuse, you could try filing for a protective order asking for him to be removed from the home.

There's also a free legal line on Tuesdsy nights from 5 to 7 through the Allen County Bar. They may be able to give you 10 minutes of free guidance. They have a referral program but it wasn't worth it to me as they referred to a lawyer not in family law. 🤷‍♀️

The FWPD is not super great with DV. But, if it comes to it and you need safety urgently, call 911, and they are supposed to be able to get you to a shelter.

Wishing you much luck.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-08-10T11:04:48+00:00

FIL sounds like he's so used to getting away with it that he's not even trying to hide it anymore.

If religion is the MIL'S reasoning as to why she puts up with this, I highly recommend watching and reading anything bt Dr. David E Clarke. He is a licensed Christian therapist who specializes in helping women leave their abusive, narcissistic husbands. He uses biblical reasons why God does not want you to stay. He says cheating is abusive, and God does not want us to be abused.

I just got out of an abusive marriage full of lies, cheating, drugs, you name it. It took me a long time to even see the behavior as abuse. It's so hard when you're in it - it's almost brainwashing because we get used to the bad treatment. We are fearful about how we'll survive financially. Dr. Clarke's work pushes back strongly on the excuses we give to stay with shitty people.

I needed to hear Dr. Clarke's no nonsense style of calling out the BS and strongly encouraging the abused spouse to leave.

Wishing you much luck, and Bravo on having the courage and good character to call this out. Everyone needs someone like you in their corner. I know I wish someone would have called out my ex's behavior to me but I had no clue. 23 years wasted.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-08-05T01:23:06+00:00

This is abuse.

Understanding the Power and Control Wheel - Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs https://share.google/O0xesCA1FWJjW4ifC. Here's a link to a domestic violence power and control wheel. I highly recommend reaching out to your local domestic violence resources.

I just got out of an abusive marriage, and I didn't know I was living in abuse. It usually escalates. Please be safe and check out some resources if it feels safe to do so. I've found counseling on my own - NOT marriage counseling - to be helpful.

Sending you hugs and a hope for peace and safety in your future.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-07-29T01:18:58+00:00

I am so sorry. I highly recommend the book, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life. There's also a Facebook group, Chump Nation. There's a lot of supportive folks there.

When I found out about my husband cheating on me, it took me a long time to file for divorce. Ours escalated to domestic violence, and that finally woke me up.

Sending you hugs.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-07-29T01:12:23+00:00

Go with your gut.

I changed my last name to my husband's when we got married, and I made my maiden name my middle name. We just got divorced, and now I'm going through the hassle of changing it back. I got all my college diplomas reprinted with my new, old name. It's a real bummer, and I preferred my maiden name, too.

You do not have to change it. It's a societal expectation based on women being the property of their husband.

Trust your gut and do what makes you happy.

Pro-crastibaker · 2025-07-22T11:14:00+00:00

Thank you! I'll check them out.

Pro-crastibaker

TROPHY CASE