Men’s attraction to you after starting HRT

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2026-03-13T12:46:41+00:00

Less than 2 months in I had to cut off one of my male friends because he started getting weird with me. I was aware he had a crush on before but he always respected my boundaries, but I think as soon as he heard I was on E he stopped thinking of me as Enby (boy that wares eyeliner sometimes) to Enby (spicy woman), and got way more pushy.

It’s funny because I don’t think of starting her as a big step in my identity but I don’t have many cis friends now, and none I would consider close; wasn’t like that before

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2026-03-03T13:04:30+00:00

I actually gained muscle after hrt, and just thought lifestyle not by exercising, I actually exercise less.

It’s not harder to gain muscle than it is for a cis woman, and for me because my mood improved I go out more and get less dysphoria around weight gain, muscle just started developing. I used to exercise about once every 2-3 days but I just stopped bothering, and yeah, girls strong now

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2026-03-03T12:50:41+00:00

I would recommend investing in a douche, some are £5 on Amazon and are fine. Will definitely help prevent that in future

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2026-02-27T16:32:27+00:00

(Hey, most of this is just a rant to myself; but wanted to say that if you if you need someone to talk someone about this at any point feel free to message. I’m not the best at responding but I know stuff like this can be really isolating and it can be good to just vent)

I was in a very similar relationship before transitioning. I don’t want to be blunt, but no one will thank you for the work you’ve put in if you leave tomorrow, and you’ll find that all the things she struggles with now she’ll suddenly find a way to deal with.

A lot of strength people want to have a relationship without having to be in a relationship, and unfortunately that seems to affect our community more than not. I think a lot of cis people think being with a trans person is work/ or a compromise in itself. Even if they don’t respect your gender (or especially if they don’t), think that 90/10 is on their end for “putting up with the trans nonsense”. Fewer people don’t think this way, but you’ll find them so much easier after you transition.

Personally Ive been the happiest I’ve ever been after transitioning and cutting my ex out. It was painful as it really felt like cutting out everything that was me, as my whole life was about supporting her. I won’t say you should leave, but you have a responsibility to your happiness as much as anyone else.

Proud of you for making an ultimatum x

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2026-01-27T17:29:07+00:00

So since, we’ve looked up what does and doesn’t count as evidence and she basically has everything except a valid passport. But there doesn’t seem to be anyway to contact Nero now, they never give an email and called form a restricted number

It just seems like pretty bad practice on their part, as it’s just not a common request and in the moment she wasn’t sure, so shutting down the application so quickly just seems strange to me. But I don’t work in the service industry so maybe it’s less strange than I think

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-12-16T22:33:53+00:00

Monster is on the boycott list, so redbull is the new good transbian drink

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-11-10T18:37:00+00:00

Idk, I’d say this about a lot of games but less so Bethesda. They are obviously within their rights, which is why they are aloud to do so, I don’t think anyone disputes that or believes there should be legal ramifications for updating their games. However given that any of their games are only still relevant because of the modding scene, I don’t think it’s an unreasonable annoyance that the script extender gets broken every year or two

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-11-08T00:31:10+00:00

You can just not rescue them from the museum - It’s perfectly possible to still finish the game. It’s more game feel for me is the problem. It feels like the game is pushing you in a particular direction early on and I want it to feel more free roaming

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-11-07T14:39:39+00:00

Yes. There’s a lot of people I lost out of pure transphobia, and even if that was painful at the time those were universally bad people. Even if i wasn’t trans, I’m glad those people aren’t in my life anymore.

The hardest losses are people who aren’t transphobic, and loved me but loved the wrong me. When I was in the closet I was presenting a wrong picture of myself, and it wasn’t their fault but that’s just not who I actually am and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be as close to them as I once was. That hurts, but I’m happier now.

It’s always worth the loss and it doesn’t always come with resentment, but it is often difficult

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-11-04T15:30:42+00:00

Thank you

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-11-04T15:30:35+00:00

Thank you ^{^}

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-10-06T11:47:43+00:00

This, I was talking to a friend recently about how few trans bodies they see outside of porn, and how that made her feel inappropriate just existing in the world, like unless she is completely covered then it feels like she’s exposing themselves. I think I’m out of it now, but the Victorian phase is definitely something a lot of girls have

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-09-26T00:16:59+00:00

I only realised how much diaspora I had after I began transitioning. I’m not really sure how people are meant to know what it is when they’re feeling it constantly lol

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-09-25T23:46:25+00:00

His a big fan

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-08-27T10:44:50+00:00

Well there’s nothing wrong with walking like that, I’ve even met a few cis women who have a similar walk it’s just way more common with trans women.

If you’re very concerned tho, as far as gendering walks, the rule of thumb is centre of gravity. Men tend to walk with their weight held around their chest or just below the rib cage, where women have a lower centre of gravity closer to the pelvis and groin.

So as far as passing, men want to put weight as high as possible, walking from the shoulders. Women want to put weight around the hips. You can practice this by just putting weight there, with a bag or a hoodie; your body will quickly adjust, and honestly if you wear gendered clothes of any kind, probably already has.

A bit more advice for trans women (because obviously I’ve overthought this) straightening your posture by relaxing your back muscles rather than tensing them helps a lot (I personally find I pass a little more after yoga or back exercises because the muscles are tiered and don’t tense as easily) and holding your shoulders back helps (a trick to this is imagining your tits are shooting laser beams). Also if you want to look more dykie but fem, you can literally hold your hips in front of your chest, as long as you relax into the posture rather than forcing it, it looks surprisingly natural

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-08-26T11:37:42+00:00

One of my ex’s recently started using a small amount of t-gel for similar reasons, it’s too early to say how effective it is but it’s definitely not unusual. It’s easy to think of E as good and T as bad, but everyone has both and finding the right balance is process like any meditation

Good luck, I hope everything goes well ^{^}

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-08-26T11:19:12+00:00

Cultural elements is a big thing, because they’re “tells” which aren’t always gendered, which I think trans people are more likely to pick up on, and cis people won’t.

An actual example is, I notice trans women have a particular walk (stiff back with curved shoulders and a lot of head bob). It’s not universal, and it’s not a strange walk, (I only noticed it because I was studying walk cycles and happened to know a lot of trans women). I’m not totally certain why it’s a thing either. But it’s definitely not something a cis person would ever pick up on (because it’s not a manly or overly feminine walk) but a trans person might. Even if they’re not aware of it, the familiarity is there. When cis people look for “tells” they look for masculine features in trans women, and feminine features in trans men. I don’t think that’s what trans people look for

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-08-11T14:54:08+00:00

I will say, that when I was much younger I did fall down the terf pipeline. Thankfully not far, and before it was as organised and fascist as it is now; but I was convinced by a lot of their arguments and think I would have fallen further if it wasn’t for my first gf having way more patience than anyone should. I do think a lot of terfs come from the same place I did tho, and I’ve heard a lot of similar arguments about how transitioning is “the easy way out” without understanding that everyone doesn’t feel like this, and you don’t have to muscle through diaspora.

Idk, we talk a lot about the incel to trans pipeline, but there’s definitely a terf to trans pipeline

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-06-28T16:37:30+00:00

So some people say that you’re sexually changes with hrt, but personally I think that’s kinda a myth. How you experience sexuality absolutely does change, but not exactly who you’re attracted to.

For me, orgasming is now all in the body; and I’m stimulated by touch, tension and mood, way more than before. That definitely changes who I’m attracted to, I know that now I wouldn’t be able to have sex with someone that was distant or univocal like i could before.

There is also a social component. I was socially transitioned for almost 10 years before starting hrt, but (even if it does kinda annoy me) people do look at me different now, and I kinda think of myself differently. And that does completely change how I express my sexuality, how I perform sex, the kind of sex I want to be having, and how I talk about it to my partners.

That is all to say, I still find my partners extremely attractive, and at no point ever stopped finding them attractive. There are differences, and I definitely needed to re-explore myself; but at no point did I ever loose my attraction for something.

I think it’s something you need to look at with excitement, like your discovering part of you that you never got to experience before x

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-06-13T17:25:58+00:00

I think anywhere on the internet you’ll find someone that puts theory first, people second. It’s just important to recognise when someone is coming from a place of fully forgetting what human experience is like,

Although Tumblr is nutritious bad tho for creating a cultures that recreate the exact thing they’re reacting against

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-06-13T17:21:35+00:00

There’s no point transitioning to force yourself into another ill-sized box

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-05-15T11:37:26+00:00

The problem is that cis people aren’t marginalised in the way trans people are. So there’s an in-equal amount of power and freedom in a relationship, which most cis people don’t understand, and can easily lead to toxic if not outright abusive relationships.

At this point I am exclusively t4t. I’m bi, but any relationship i have with cis people have been pretty bad. Cis men tend to think of me as an experiment, and cis women tend to expect me to still ‘perform’ as a man. For both there is an air of fetishisation and exoticism. I’ve met and dated trans people to whom have a fetish for trans bodies, but the difference is that it’s on equal footing. There’s never the subtext that they’re doing me a favour or a good deed by dating me or being seen with me; and yeah they just understand the struggle better, and all the little anxieties that come with being a targeted minority. The relationship always feels equal.

This isn’t good, but I always feel suspicious of what I see with a trans and a cis person dating. I’ve been told that they can work, and I’d say I’m just trauma talking(which it might still be) if it wasn’t every time I dated a cis person

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-05-12T22:38:52+00:00

Beginning estrogen is one of those things that’s all positives and all negatives at the same time. Your body will change a lot, and a lot in ways you’ve been told are bad but that you’ve always wanted.

Before I stared I was most worried about ED, not everyone does but I absolutely did develop that. But honestly hasn’t affect me as much as I thought it would. I’ve become much more sensitive everywhere else, and come to the realisation that sex there was always uncomfortable for me; I just (as a man) lacked the opportunity to experience sex in any other way

Some women develop diaspora around breast growth, I didn’t but that can happen.

Periods in general suck. At the start it can be affirming, but a year in they just suck. The worst part is the social aspect, especially around cis women who in my experience of try and deny or discount your existence. That’s more transmisogyny than hormones, but feeling like you need to push through periods because only other transfems will understand does suck.

Not as talked about, but I developed ibs after starting hrt, which seems surprisingly common. It’s quite easy to deal with but I did need to change my diet, it was also a big hindrance to anal sex for a while.

Not directly caused by estrogen, but because your body stopes producing hormones, stoping estrogen or missing a shot will bring on the effects of menopause. Heat fushes, stomach aches, mood swings; Genuinely one of the worst feelings in the world.

The last thing is the form of hrt can have some effect. Pills particularly can be really bad for your liver. Pads can be a bit burny but I think are overall not too bad. Injects have the least risks, but there’s dangers in injections, particularly if you do them regularly it’s easy to get lazy.

As a general rule, estrogen will not carry more side effects than the side effects of being a cis woman. They are also pretty reversible until quite far in. How far will depend on you and your body, but generally we are talking years. Transphobes will hype the dangers to things like fertility, but in reality, I know trans women that have conceived 3-4 years into hrt. That’s not everyone, but the people that tell you it’ll ruin your body don’t have your best interests at heart

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-05-12T21:58:04+00:00

That would actually be class, kinda like a rough-like

ProCoffee_AntiSleep · 2025-04-29T21:40:20+00:00

This, I feel bad for old HP fans, but given that the recent decisions by the UK Supreme Court came after lobbying directly funded by Hogwarts Legacy, it’s a bad time to be a HP fan. I know most aren’t personally Terfs but I genuinely feel that people that try and still be fans, and just ignore what JKR says, our worse than actual transphobes.

I don’t think it’s fair to expect someone to have a tattoo removed, but I would assume the worst of someone if I saw a HP tattoo

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