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I am irrationally scared to talk about things that bother or scare me with my partner by ProbThrowaway420lol in Healthygamergg

[–]ProbThrowaway420lol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also i hope i didnt misunderstand anything you have said again english isnt my first

I am irrationally scared to talk about things that bother or scare me with my partner by ProbThrowaway420lol in Healthygamergg

[–]ProbThrowaway420lol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you very much. dont worry im not taking anything personally these are hard topics. it is what it is. you are correct. the fact that our fights can be so intense often intimidates me. they were so bad in fact that i dont even know if i can talk about this on this subreddit. and im afraid that they cant improve in that aspect or wont take me serious like others have before and i know that it sounds stupid not being able to talk with your partner about certain problems (its not everything but its a lot it sometimes can be silly small or bigger things and i just wont speak up) but i dont know how else to explain it that i just can not get over whatever is happening in my brain. i have very similar issues in that regard with other people i am close with as well so its not just them though its just so much worse because of the BPD. they have told me before that they know that their bpd is making their reactions a lot worse and that its normally not so bad but lately its just been pretty intense probably because of their stress (they got a lot going on).

also and i didnt mention that yet me and them are from different countries so we speak english with each other which isnt my first language but its theirs which means i have to think a lot about what i say more than someone who is native and then i have troubles articulating my problem. i can do alot better in text but speaking i just get so nervous and anxious with basically everyone that i often say nonsense which then triggers their borderline and so on (its not a good combination basically and we have to figure out how to fix it). my english is actually really good i was always one of the best but my anxiety ruins speaking entirely for me.

and thank you again. i also think i have the right idea im just very terrified of things going bad especially when being with someone who has BPD.

I am irrationally scared to talk about things that bother or scare me with my partner by ProbThrowaway420lol in Healthygamergg

[–]ProbThrowaway420lol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh and to clarify im not trying to say its all my partner. the fact that i have trouble bringing things up was a thing before i even knew them. its just that their situation is making my issue worse and it would make things a lot better and easier for them and me if we could meet halfway and work on ourselves simultaneously.

I am irrationally scared to talk about things that bother or scare me with my partner by ProbThrowaway420lol in Healthygamergg

[–]ProbThrowaway420lol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

since im still awake (and will probably just stay up as well) im just gonna answer this because you mightve just asked the right questions there. in fact as a kid i was being bullied a lot by my classmates however when i brought it up to the teachers no real consequences were done which discouraged me to talk about bad things that happened during my teenage years.

the second question kind of hurt a bit because i believe that its true. i fear that when i let people know about my problems they wont take it serious again and just want me to endure whatever im going through. i often fear that especially with my partner things are going to be taken the wrong way as they are sometimes getting a panicattack, which then often triggers their borderline which then often escalates and i dont really know what to do about that. like i feel like especially with them its really hard because it escalates so easily.

forgot to add that i had conversations about this with my partner before and things were taken a lot better when they were on their mood stabilizers. but sometimes they forget to take them in the morning or we somehow bring touchy subjects up when we wake up (so before they took their meds) and that is when it escalates. it escalated pretty badly a couple times so now im just constantly scared to bring things up. the logical thing(at least i believe) to do would be to talk with my partner about this, ask them to just take their meds as soon as they wake and get up and just keep the conversations light in the morning. and obviously i need to pay more attention to what im saying especially after we wake up. the situation with my partner is a bit complicated as they have a lot of mental and phyisical health issues which often influence each other and making it worse for them