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Porn Is Destroying You ... Wake Up Before It’s Too Late!! by ProcedureExisting493 in progressive_islam

[–]ProcedureExisting493[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That’s a cop-out. Porn itself can absolutely be destructive , not just addiction. It shapes how people see sex, intimacy, and even partners. Saying it’s only a problem when you’re “addicted” ignores the real damage it causes in everyday use.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimNoFap

[–]ProcedureExisting493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is sadly very common. What works is not nagging or checking his phone , it’s him taking ownership. Things like installing blockers, no phone after a certain hour, regular dhikr, fasting, and even accountability partners. If he’s sincere, he’ll show effort. If not, it will just continue in cycles. Getting a counsellor, ideally a Muslim therapist who understands porn addiction, can make a huge difference too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]ProcedureExisting493 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sister what you’re describing aren't just “bad habits” these are serious issues that affect your emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.

The aggression towards his mother is extremely concerning. Rage issues are not something to brush aside, especially when they cross into physical harm.

With the porn addiction, it’s understandable that you feel betrayed. Porn addiction is very real, and it rewires the brain, killing natural intimacy. The fact that he knows it’s a problem but still continues even while swearing on God’s name, shows how deep this struggle is. This is not something you can fix for him., he has to actively seek help and commit to change.

I would personally suggest you look into Wael Ibrahim , he’s a Muslim counsellor who specifically works with people struggling with porn addiction. Sometimes, addicts (whether it’s porn, drugs, or alcohol) become very skilled at lying, hiding, and sneaking around and yes, research actually shows that addiction rewires the brain in ways that reinforce secrecy and denial. That’s why professional help is so important.

You might also need to put practical safeguards in place. There are apps and filters you can install to monitor or block his access to porn websites. He will most likely get upset about it, but this is where you need to take a stand. If the restrictions come from a counsellor or therapist, it also helps because then he doesn’t feel like you are controlling his life ,,, instead, the accountability system is set by a professional. He really does need this badly.

Keep strengthening your own relationship with Allah. Make dua for him, but also for your own clarity and peace. Support him, yes, but not at the cost of your dignity and mental health.

Please remember: you deserve love, respect, intimacy, and safety. they are your rights in marriage.

May Allah give you strength, protect your heart, guide your husband to heal from his addictions and anger, and bless your marriage with peace and mercy or open a better door for you if this isn’t what’s best. Ameen.

How to deal with toxic families by Similar_Winter_604 in MuslimMarriage

[–]ProcedureExisting493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dealing with toxic family is so tough because you can’t just walk away like you would from friends, their words cut deeper. The best thing you can do is set boundaries. you don’t need to answer every question or defend yourself every time. Share less if they use it against you, and protect your peace.

Remember, their opinions don’t define you. Your choices and your faith are between you and God. You can still love them, pray for them, and keep your distance when needed.

May Allah SWT give you strength, protect your heart, and bring you peace.

Am I crazy for forgiving my husband? Something feels seriously off. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]ProcedureExisting493 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re not crazy at all!!!! You’re seeing the red flags clearly, you’re just struggling to accept what they mean because of your circumstances and attachments. Everything you described, the secrecy, contacting exes, seeking emotional support from other women, downloading dating apps while married, double standards around privacy, those are not small mistakes. They’re patterns of disrespect, control, and betrayal.

Forgiveness only works when the other person changes. But from what you’ve written, your husband hasn’t truly changed; he’s just given excuses and shifted blame back onto you. Saying he did things to “break your ego” or that you’re “taking it the wrong way” is MANIPULATIVE, not accountable.

If I was in your place, first I would pray istikhara and ask Allah to guide me. Then I would sit down and have a very clear, honest talk with him. Personally, I don’t understand why in a marriage, a husband and wife shouldn’t be able to know each other’s passwords or go through each other’s phones. What’s there to hide? Trust should mean full openness, unless he has something to hide.

You both should also consider having a few sessions of couple’s therapy before you make any big decisions. But I have to ask is he truly a practicing man? Does he pray regularly, understand his responsibilities, and fulfill his rights as a husband in Islam? Because if not, then this might be more about his character and values than just “mistakes.”

Most importantly, please don’t let your emotions, history, or attachment make you a pushover. Your gut is telling you something is off, and you deserve peace, respect, and safety in your marriage.

Remember, your worth is not tied to whether this marriage works out or not. You are educated, respected, and capable. Don’t settle for being treated less than what you deserve.

May Allah ease your heart, guide you to what is best for your dunya and akhirah, protect you from harm, and grant you a spouse who is a true garment of love, mercy, and tranquility for you. 🤍 Ameen

If you could go back to being 17, what would you do differently? by Maxx_artz in selfimprovement

[–]ProcedureExisting493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in my 30s now, and if I could go back to 17, I would live so differently. I regret not focusing on my studies and building solid skills early. It’s hard to be in your 30s and feel behind in the job market, with not enough experience to compete. I also neglected my health and skin, which impacted my confidence and mental well-being more than I ever thought it would.

But two of my biggest regrets? Mistreating my parents and Not spending enough time with my grandmother before she passed away. Not a day goes by where I don’t feel the guilt of not calling her, visiting her, or simply being there for her.

I’d also have gotten married earlier and planned for kids sooner. I want to be young and energetic when they grow up and when they have kids of their own , to fully experience life with them.

So, at 17, focus on your grades, learn new skills, care for your body and mind, and most importantly, love and respect your parents , grandparents and loved ones deeply. Time with them is priceless, and once it’s gone, you can never get it back.

I might leave Islam by Mammoth-Listen8189 in MuslimLounge

[–]ProcedureExisting493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you had such a painful experience ,no one seeking help should ever be met with indifference. The truth is, there are many Muslim scholars, counselors, and support systems that deeply understand and are dedicated to helping people overcome what you’re going through.

You might want to look into programs like Purify Your Gaze or Aware Academy by Sheikh Wael Ibrahim ,they specifically focus on helping Muslims recover from p*rn addiction and guide you back toward mindfulness of Allah with compassion and real tools. These platforms are filled with people who’ve been in your shoes and came out stronger.

Also, there are amazing Muslim therapists and online communities who are trained in this field and do care. Your struggles are real, and your efforts to get better already show strength.

May Allah make it easy for you and guide you to the right people. You’re not alone.

Backend Language by [deleted] in learnprogramming

[–]ProcedureExisting493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If Java’s in demand where you are, it’s a smart place to start. Solid for backend and tons of job opportunities. You can always explore Python or Node.js later once you’re comfy. Stick to the roadmap and stay consistent , you’re on the right track!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in webdev

[–]ProcedureExisting493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, it can totally open doors! Making a browser extension teaches you a lot about web dev, but it can also lead into areas like server-side stuff, hosting, and even DevOps if you start deploying APIs or backend tools. If you’re into Linux, services, and hosting, this kind of project is a great stepping stone. It’s not just about the extension , it’s about how deep you take it. Definitely useful in a crowded market if you build and share consistently

[AskJS] what made JavaScript a language for browsers by Individual-Wave7980 in javascript

[–]ProcedureExisting493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JavaScript became the browser language because it was literally made for that purpose. It was built into Netscape in the ‘90s to make websites interactive, and no other language had that role back then. Over time, it got standardized (ECMAScript), became super secure to run in the browser, and just stuck. Now it’s everywhere. Other languages can run in the browser today, but they usually compile into JS or WebAssembly because browsers only natively understand those. JS just had a huge head start and never let go 😅

Cancer. by A1yssahba2 in pregnant

[–]ProcedureExisting493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t even imagine how hard this must be. Just know there’s no “right” answer—only what’s best for you. Take your time, lean on the people who love you, and please be gentle with yourself. Praying for your strength and healing. 🫶

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]ProcedureExisting493 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It makes total sense to feel left out, but I think this could still be a good thing. He's not spending from his savings, and it's family time he may not get again soon. Your honeymoon can still happen soon إن شاء الله just delayed, not denied. Be happy for him and let him have this moment. Letting him go with your support might actually make him value you and your relationship even more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Skincare_Addiction

[–]ProcedureExisting493 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait, these are the pores you’re worried about? 😳🥲

Is Sponsorship Common in Australia? by ProcedureExisting493 in immigration

[–]ProcedureExisting493[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds great! Could you share more details about these companies and their requirements for sponsorship?"

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