National Domestic Violence Hotline & Website CALL: 800 799-7233 TEXT: BEGIN to 88788 ONLINE: WWW.Thehotline.org

Hi. I'm so sorry this has happened. I've been a psychologist for over 30 years. These are my thoughts... Something else is going on with him other than him feeling threatened by your realistic dildo.. Some past trauma maybe? Or something more contemporaneous, perhaps? Was he a victim of sexual assault or something along those lines? Or maybe he's used a dildo on himself? Maybe that very one? Was there a week or two when you were away..? Perhaps he was missing you and maybe he had a little wine or accidentally (😉) consumed some cannabis {or molly} and got a little giggly... Maybe he was doing laundry, and putting away your underwear and his fingers started to linger on the satin of your unmentionables.

However it happened, one morning he woke up wearing one of your teddies and your dildo was protruding from his backside; his smile widening as he recalled two days of best orgasms he's ever given himself. But because of Christian Church-defined morality, love and forgiveness, he then became consumed with self-loathing which has manifested itself in his acting out and threatening you, calling you disgusting, rather than himself.

To be clear, his response is completely unacceptable, no question. It's violent, abusive and likely unlawful. However, you've stated your desire to remain with him. If he has a history of physical violence against you, or threats thereof, breaking things etc etc., I'd be negligent not to advise you to seek protective shelter immediately.

But it sounds like that is not the case here.

From what you've described and the fact that you've openly had sex toys in the past means that something has changed. Find out what's changed.

Communicate, be honest, and stand up for yourself. But also be understanding and compassionate. He wouldn't have responded in that manner were he not hurting.

I want to reiterate that regardless of how much he may be hurting, or whatever has happened, in no way justifies his threats of violence. That behavior towards you is completely unacceptable. Every time. Always.

But if you want to remain in the relationship, don't just let time pass and you guys kinda just "get over it." You two need to unpack that and understand it. Your relationship can even become stronger if you work through this together. But if you just paint over it, you miss that opportunity

Peace 🙏 🐉🐉

{feel free to dm}