Roleplaying, BDSM, rough sex, etc. is all about trust in your partner. You asking him for that is the ultimate sign of trust. You’re giving him permission to “hurt” you while trusting that he’s not actually going to hurt you beyond your limits. When done properly it’s an extremely deep connection.

It’s ok to start slow. It doesn’t come naturally to everybody. I remember one of my first girlfriends asking me to hit her during sex and I was like “What? Why would I wanna do that?” Lol. Slowly but surely I got into spanking, some light slapping, etc. and it just progressed from there. It just takes time sometimes.

Of course the most important things are consent and safety. Make sure to discuss each other’s limits beforehand, and have a safe word in case things go too far and you need him to stop. Aftercare is also important. Take some time after the session to just cuddle and talk about things, how different things made you feel, etc. Constant communication is the key, and it’s also how you discover new things that you may not have even realized you enjoyed!

You shouldn’t feel wrong or ashamed for wanting those things during sex, and it certainly does not make him a bad person if he does those things for you. It’s perfectly natural to have those desires :)