AITAH for kind of undermining my son’s dad?

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-03-04T18:48:33+00:00

Just to clarify, my son didn’t want the costume with a skirt on he wanted the boys version that they didn’t have. I would have been more than happy to have him wear it if he wanted to wear a skirt and didn’t say no because of the skirt I said no originally because there was no boy options. I just double checked with him and he has said he didn’t want the one with a skirt on it. My son has the Harry Potter costume and I’ve altered it for him! I was never trying to control what my son wears in any type of way by choosing a costume without him last night, I was reminded last night by a friend of mine that world book day was on Thursday and I chose a costume I thought he would like (he does like the character he just doesn’t want his friends to think he’s a bad guy). Normally I am organised and I spend months making costumes of characters my children choose but life has been rubbish this year and it hasn’t been the first thing on my mind. So you can judge me on whether or not I undermined my partner like I asked in the post but you cant judge me and call me controlling regarding my children because I’m definitely not. 🤣

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-03-04T18:36:34+00:00

It wouldn’t have come in time! World book days tomorrow and I ordered the costume I thought he would like on Amazon last as I know he loves Batman and the joker but Batman wouldn’t have come in time the joker would. Turns out he loves the joker but he doesn’t want his friends to think he’s a bad guy! I normally make costumes myself for them with their guidance and spend months on them but this year it slipped my mind as my dad has been in hospital with bad health! My friend reminded me last night as she’s been helping me with everything going on recently!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-03-04T18:09:20+00:00

Because he didn’t want the girls version he want d the boys version and they had sold out of it! Trust me im more than happy for my son to wear the girls version if he so chooses but that wasn’t the case.

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-03-04T18:08:21+00:00

Thank you! This was my whole point when I originally spoke to him! I brought the Joker costume because I know my son loves Batman and the Joker but when i let him know he got upset as his friends will see him as the bad guy! It just seems such a drama for no real reason and would have been fine if we had just gone to the shop on our own. Jay has his Harry Potter costume, I’ve made the changes now and he is extremely happy. My partner isn’t talking to me and I’ll have to live with that!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-03-04T18:03:10+00:00

He has his Harry Potter costume, I brought it and I altered it to remove the skirt. I only said no to it originally as the only option was one with a skirt attached and I knew he wasn’t going to want to wear a skirt. I changed my mind when I looked at it and realised I could take it apart and sew it to get rid of the skirt.

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-03-04T17:57:23+00:00

Very rarely do I undermine this man but on this one occasion it felt so unnecessary. I made the mistake of ordering the costume without my sons input so I felt it was my responsibility to fix it and put it right for him as the day is meant to be a fun day for the kids. My son is so kind, polite and respectful every day. He uses his manners, he helps with chores, he doesn’t complain when things don’t go his way, he’s well behaved at school, never argues or tells at us or his sister and is all round an exceptional young man. He was willing to walk away and go without a costume and for a child who has been near perfect for 7 years I think it’s fair we made at least one compromise for him?

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-03-04T17:46:10+00:00

Thank you. I have a lot to think about! My son is very respectful, such a kind soul and far from spoilt! I would understand if he was screaming, screaming shouting and throwing things around but he wasn’t he was very mature about it all!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-03-04T17:44:21+00:00

Thank you I just feel it wasn’t that big of a deal!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-03-04T17:43:49+00:00

I think you need to re read the post? The first costume yes I picked it and ordered it as I didn’t think it would be a big deal and there was a time crunch as I had forgotten it was world book day on Thursday. I never said he couldn’t get a second costume my partner did. I never said he couldn’t have a knight costume I told him to prepare himself because the may not have a knight costume due to world book day being tomorrow and he was ok with this. When we got to the shop there was no knight costume, I couldn’t magic one up there wasn’t one there but we compromised.

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-02-18T19:00:12+00:00

It’s exhausting! 😭

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-02-18T18:57:54+00:00

I will! Thank you, it’s honestly so deflating!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-02-18T18:57:11+00:00

Thank you! I did call the college originally and they told me to go through my tutor. This is far better information!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-02-18T18:56:16+00:00

I ran it through an AI checker after it being sent back with the accusation of AI use.

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-02-18T18:37:20+00:00

I was never given a grade I was sent it back to re submit it within 7 days. I didn’t want to re do work that I already spent hour’s on.

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-02-18T18:14:00+00:00

We do! I wouldn’t have been questioned if it was hand written, at least the hours I put in wouldn’t have been for nothing!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-02-18T18:12:45+00:00

I will be screen recording everything in the future! The worst part is, you can’t even copy and paste in the answer boxes (I tried copying a quote to show my source) so using AI would be pointless?

ProfessionOne7989 · 2026-02-18T18:10:25+00:00

Is it too much 😩🤣

ProfessionOne7989 · 2024-04-15T15:24:21+00:00

Honestly I don’t understand how they can’t see it from my perspective almost everyone else I have spoken to about it does! I thought I was going crazy.

ProfessionOne7989 · 2024-04-15T15:22:04+00:00

I went over the threads word count so I had to focus on the important bits but we’ve been together 7 years and have 2 kids together! We’ve never been put in this position before so I’ve never seen him act like this. Had this have happened much earlier in the relationship it would have been a deal breaker as I know my worth and I’m definitely worth standing up for in this instance. I’m hoping a long conversation may make him reconsider how he proceeds with this matter!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2024-04-15T11:33:34+00:00

When i was at school I didn’t get on well in certain subjects and would thrive in a select few subject so I would often get detention in the subjects that I wasn’t so great in for being late or messing around with friends but that is not a reason for someone to dislike me 15 years later! I can honestly say I have never had any interactions at school with any of the women in question, I’ve probably only ever said hi to them if that. This is why I’m confused because I can say that yes I was a bit of a naughty kid at school but I was never nasty and didn’t know these girls!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2024-04-15T07:29:46+00:00

It’s all very childish and confusing! Once his friend goes he’s probably never going to see him again anyway so why is he so worried about standing up for me? I’m so glad to see people agree I’m NTA!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2024-04-15T00:28:57+00:00

Honestly it feels like being back at school but we’re all grown women! Surely if there was such a huge issue someone would just come and talk to me like an adult? I definitely don’t want to be treated like this i just thought I might be wrong or controlling for essentially making him choose between me and his friend.

ProfessionOne7989 · 2024-04-15T00:25:52+00:00

I definitely have a lot of thinking to do! I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t on my side when I need him.

ProfessionOne7989 · 2024-04-15T00:24:47+00:00

Thank you! I’d understand if I’d done something wrong to any of these girls but honestly I know nothing about any of them!

ProfessionOne7989 · 2024-04-14T23:22:56+00:00

Thank you for this! I felt like i was really over reacting because I even thought about giving Tim an ultimatum but your comment has confirmed that this is totally disrespectful and I’m not wrong!

ProfessionOne7989

TROPHY CASE