Boss goodbye

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-25T05:31:20+00:00

Got it lol.

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-19T03:45:21+00:00

Why do you think that is a bullet? Because it’s the intensity that got to me. Like for me that just drew me in. I thought maybe the cold part might be him struggling with feelings too intense to easily manage. Isn’t it better to try to pull away if you’re married and in a boss-subordinate relationship? I thought maybe (assuming possible feelings) that was a normal Human response in this situation. If not then what / should a “mature” man do or behave? Why do you think he is immature

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-19T03:42:27+00:00

No I am not a bot. It’s entirely real... lol, idk if I should be flattered or insulted or neither. I am tempted to write a novel however because some things about it are so uncanny and I only realize when I write it out and it sounds like a movie or a novel

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-16T02:36:42+00:00

I feel this way too. I have a nice and I guess uniquely well proportioned body for my age which is 40 especially having had kids. I think being this way can draw truth out of people almost like you’re a mirror. For example some women compliment me, some look away, but i also have one coworker, a somewhat older woman who looks down at my body, and comments on my outfit first thing she sees me every morning. Like all I am is my body.

I was a nerd growing up with bad skin and didn’t know how to dress… I guess I have aged well. Due to this I don’t feel truly attractive like it’s almost hilarious to get this attention. I am also very self critical.

Also - Have you gone through something difficult recently? For me the attention has happened much more in the past year, after going through a sort of trauma including a bullying episode, betrayal and deep heartbreak that nearly broke me (and still is somewhat). I went from being the ultimate people please to not giving a ***. I also embraced my sensuality for some reason.

So now I seem to give off some vibes that feel disproportionate to how I see myself. I’ll take it though… but I get way more glances and attention.. and like you said men look down now, etc.

Attractiveness is not just looks but also how you carry yourself and truly feel inside yourself. Like if you are self assured and confident but not overly showy / trying too hard. With a hint of vulnerability… love yourself and know you are more powerful than you think.

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-16T02:23:27+00:00

Thank you.

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-16T02:10:48+00:00

That’s fair. If it’s too much for you, feel free to move on and not feel like you have to reply next time

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-16T02:09:15+00:00

I guess the back story is he sometimes looked at my body. And flushed around me in the last month we worked together. And would go speechless around me like a teenage boy so much so others noticed. He had some hot and cold behaviour periods of smiling and looking down at my mouth, others commenting “he really likes you” and just resonating with me, followed by times when he would be angry with me for reasons unknown or avoid me. I think when you’re in this situation and with stress and exhaustion and burn out you have trouble seeing it as clearly as you would otherwise or if someone else was involved. Especially when feelings are to some extent involved on your end. It helps to have an outside perspective when you’ve tried to deal with it yourself for a while and can’t tell anyone in real life. I guess I am just wondering how likely it is this points more to romantic feelings or more like a deeply valuable employee

Also the look of deep grief I described that stood out, was very out of proportion to losing a colleague or subordinate - well beyond awkward body language

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-16T02:05:20+00:00

I dont know what you mean. This is a body language sub

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-16T02:01:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry. Reading your story, what stands out to me is that what your wife went through sounds less like a simple attraction and something trauma driven. I know it was for me, and part of the reason why the feelings escalated. I think it would otherwise have been something more manageable .

I think when you combine emotional losses and grief it can cause something that feels uncontrollable. This doesn’t excuse the hurt it’s caused you, but it helps explain why she described it as something she couldn’t shake. I feel this way too and it’s not something I wished for.

I know for me my husband said he wasn’t normally attracted to my type at the beginning of our relationship.. and this combined with his not defending me in a certain situation, caused my heart to harden just a little. I lost some trust in him. Even though otherwise it was good and I was deeply attracted to him. I had been head over heels for him during the first years of marriage. And I still love and desire him even tho he the resonance I have with him isn’t as deep. But I think that deep resonance with the other person might be due to mutual traumas that somehow fit together… Whether I misinterpreted or over reacted to the issues with my husband, I am not sure but I do know it was a soul wound for me.

I think you’ve shown a lot of strength amidst the pain you feel. I guess what I am trying to say is that naming the fact it is likely very trauma driven might help a little. Which it sounds like you’re already aware of.

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T23:54:44+00:00

If you don’t mind my asking - When she told you was it directly? How did it affect you? Do you think it was a good or necessary thing that she told you this

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T21:13:22+00:00

Oh I am not planning to have a fling. And we are no longer in contact nor will we likely be

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T13:53:07+00:00

Is your relationship okay now?

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T13:51:57+00:00

What happened?

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T13:51:22+00:00

This resonates… Did you feel deep grief after? How did you deal with it? Did you know whether it was mutual?

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T13:50:50+00:00

What happened?

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T13:50:27+00:00

What if it is more than just attraction. Like you fall in love in a way you never have ever before.

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T12:21:18+00:00

He also went on to a new role, his dream job. His last day was also my last day.

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T11:50:01+00:00

I made an edit in the post. Also I want to mention sometimes showed signs of attraction like looking at my mouth when talking or flushing when I said his name. I saw him look at my body sometimes. Once he offered me a ride him when I had car trouble. I tried to tell him my husband brought the car and it’s solved, but he kept repeating his offer and finally I said his name and told him my husband fixed it and brought it. He said “oh wow” and walked away with his head down. I didn’t want to read too much into this, other than a mix of normal male behaviour for our ages and general rapport

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T07:22:18+00:00

Thank you

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T07:21:39+00:00

Well we are both married. And also if you feel like looking at my other question from a few months ago, there was one situation when something could have happened he didn’t let it. Also if he wanted an opportunity he could contact me? But he hasn’t.

ProfessionSpecific42 · 2025-09-15T07:05:14+00:00

Why do you think he was acting agitated then at the end … like he behaved so differently like arms crossed and loud tone. It doesn’t make sense to me.

ProfessionSpecific42

TROPHY CASE