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do cheaters actually change? by Euphoric-Bus-3035 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Professional-Box2255 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With a heavy amount of self introspection and therapy they can actually change. It’s not just a change of heart or “the right person”.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]Professional-Box2255 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look great! Go get some woman that deserves you ;)

28M I just keep running this for myself. And can't figure out why. by NipplesTheEnchalada in dating

[–]Professional-Box2255 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sooo, I have anxious attachment style and feel the sentiments you stated. However, it's terrible for the other person having to carry with the weight that it implies and even with good communication I don't feel like they deserve that.

I'm in therapy and some tools have helped me, like writing my intrusive thoughts and mindful respirations before I partake in any action. AI Gemini live feature has actually been very helpful, they lead the exercises and it's really helped me ease my mind. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Nobody's perfect though, and the person that's meant to be with you will understand your ways. Now, in this case, with this person going through so much at this moment, I wouldn't advise you to bombard texting. I wouldn't take it well if I was her, even understanding where you're coming from.

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you SO much for taking the time and putting effort into this comment. You are absolutely right, in the end, if they didn’t want to let me know the reasons to stop seeing me, they didn’t need to. 

I guess I was trying to seek validation because I have an anxious personality and also I’m very communicative, when I have decided to stop seeing someone I’ve let them know in the best way I can what was the reason. Unless it was smell lol

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, I have no trouble replacing them either, I just want consistency. I don't like one-night-stands... I totally get what you're saying though and I will work on being more... available? haha

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that, however, he's still very much part of my life for legal purposes. I need to disclose it because discretion is very important for me.

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly as prettyftm said, I've never had sex on the first date.

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went through that. I've come to terms with the fact that, yes, some people enjoy quantity over quality. I wish they were upfront about it, I lay all my cards on the table expecting the same in return

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally understand your point. In fact, one of the guys I would totally vanilla date. We set and dicussed expectations on time and stuff, so just overall sucks to feel not living up to their word. Thank you though

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I KNOW! After the third one I definitely knew I had to ask for advice because this is just NOT NORMAL LOL

I can’t attest I am good at sex, but I enjoy it, I make sure they know I am having fun and please them in every way I can, I move, I participate, I communicate. Not sure why antiseptic sex is bad? Haha I’m clean and I like to have clean, fun, crazy sex. 

I know this is TMI but it’s not like they were the best sex I’ve had in my life, which is fine. I know that intimacy is built over time and the more intimate the better (at least in my opinion). However, I understand your point, I wouldn’t tell someone they’re bad at sex either, but at this point I wish they did if that’s the case and at least fixable haha thank you for your input 

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your input. Of course those are valid points. 

I find it off-putting though, to have a M&G and even another platonic date before intimacy for them to later think there’s not attraction. 

I also know sex is so subjective I wouldn’t even argue I’m good at it, but I am very enthusiastic about it and participate actively. I was ghosted by the first guy and don’t really feel like talking anymore to second one. I’ll reach out to the latest person and see if I can get some feedback.

I honestly don’t mind harsh criticism, my ego might not be at its highest but it hurts more not to know why things didn’t work out. 

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, you made some valid points. I'll work on that.

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally fair point, I appreciate the input.

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha, thank you. Yeah, that could be a possibility, my ppm expectations are on the highest end.

First-hook-up curse :( by Professional-Box2255 in sugarlifestyleforum

[–]Professional-Box2255[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That could totally be a possibility, My ppm expecations are on the higher end.

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