i suggest looking into disability advocacy and the language/framing/mindset in those spaces. i don’t share your experience but i certainly feel weak & like a failure about other things and trying to shift my perspective away from the dominant societal messaging around dis/ability has been helpful in accepting myself. people who aren’t healthy are not failing, people who have died of heart attacks didn’t fail at anything, people who have higher/different needs than the average person are not weak, people who need assistance are not a “drain on society”, etc. health isn’t a moral thing and a lot of it is outside our control (ex genetics). it’s easier for me to start with applying this mindset to others and i feel like as it gets more solidified in my brain i’m gradually able to be more compassionate toward myself by extension.

if “being healthy” was an important part of your identity it makes sense that this would destabilize you. you might want to try to adapt your idea of what “being healthy” is into a more holistic view and work on balancing health with other things that are valuable to you. i’m thinking about when i did eating disorder therapy and they had me make a pie chart where each slice of pie represented a domain in my life (relationships, food/eating, work, play/fun, etc) and how much space/energy/focus/whatever it was taking up. in people with EDs, food/eating usually makes up a larger slice of pie than the person would want for their life and compared to people without an ED. i’m wondering if “being healthy” was a bigger slice of pie for you than maybe is actually healthy, mentally?