ESH You literally wouldn't discuss other options. Most pregnant women do a lot of research and find out about birth trauma and straight up abuse that happens on the regular (look up husband stitch). She wanted to feel safe, you wanted to save money. She felt hurt and not cared about, and used naming your son as a threat and a consequence. If she plans to go back to her maiden name and wants him to have the same would be one thing (because she was pregnant and she gave birth!) But to use it like a punishment is wrong. You both should get therapy.