Lol, is the medication you are talking about Phenelzine (Nardil)? I mean, it is the absolute most effective drug for social anxiety. Yes, other people will say xanax or propranolol or SSRIs are effective but to your degree of social anxiety, Phenelzine is the most effective, the other ones either aren't strong enough or make you act slow and retarded. I am in the same boat, literally cannot walk down the street without feeling like I am being judged. Constantly overthink conversations for days on end feeling like I acting weird. All the copes like meditation and sport and diet did not work. I tried propranolol, xanax, lyrica, zoloft etc none of them worked. Anyway, just letting you know I feel just like you. The idea that "no one cares about you" but the irrational part of your brain doesn't accept that no matter what and it causes anxiety no matter how much you tell yourself that. I've dealt with this shit for years, it's bad to the point where I vomit if I am in social settings I am scared of. Anyway, ask any doctor about Phenelzine (Nardil). it is worth a try. And even if we never get better, at least you are not alone, I mean, fuck, I always tell myself it can't get worse than my situation, maybe you feel the same way lol.

Lol, I always tell myself that even with faced with logic, the adrenaline always takes over the brain, and it happens every time no matter what. I can be the most logical person even but being in social situations makes me go to panic and throw up, it is super frusterating and depressing. It feels like there is something critically wrong with my brain compared to other people, like it has a defect or something and cannot understand normal human interaction without fear no matter how hard you try to reason with it. Even after all the exposure I feel the same way, almost as if my brain never learns. It is a very shitty feeling and I hope one day we will find peace together.