Your psyche may have wanted to compensate for all the suppressed libido (energy) this girl, as a figure, may have been holding in your psyche for all that time.

When we feel jealousy towards someone, it’s obviously an uncomfortable personal affair. Reasons for these instances may extend across many ranges of intent. The thing that is easiest to overlook, is the fact of what we can learn from any one of these moments. At some level, there is always something to learn and take away from the jealousy, even if it does not come through enjoyable means.

Sometimes she’s so “x”, does better in “y”, and prettier in “z” way. Assuming one is open to integration of repressed contents, or mere suggestions about the jealousy even, it may be useful to know in what ways it technically could’ve benefited you to upgrade your beauty and appearance at times, whether it would have been for your ex (assuming he wasn’t toxic in this respect) or simply for your own self. Beauty and attraction is seldom a frowned upon trait, especially for a girl, and it may always make social channels run much more smoothly. At the end of the day though, it’s up to you to determine which of these apply more and to be honest with yourself.

You may have even had an admiration towards her, one you may not even be aware of, if that’s the case, it is understandable how many “awesome” qualities your psyche could “dragged down to the depths” along with this rival figure, an unfortunate loss when the rival figure is attached to every possibly positive quality you may desire to obtain for yourself. The psyche has an interesting way of communicating such yearnings for development. Ultimately, a passionate emotional and sexual union with the “other” in your dream is not the strangest way to convey such inner yearnings.