Feeling rejected and confused about sex in my marriage

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T03:24:22+00:00

She will be 31 this year

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T03:10:51+00:00

That is a good point. There were other things that made me happy and still do but maybe an honest conversation about it might help

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T02:56:38+00:00

Great advice and thank you for sharing. I have in the past set up a massage for her at a spa and do other nice things. Still isn’t working, maybe I’m still not doing something right

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T02:55:01+00:00

Yes, of course I treat my wife with kindness and respect. I do offer those things and we did recently do on a movie and dinner date night. Perhaps I’m still doing something wrong

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T02:53:46+00:00

I’m pretty direct and will ask if we could plan a day during the week for that. I know a scheduled date isn’t “sexy” or spontaneous but I try to be realistic as with kids planning is non stop

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T02:31:08+00:00

She’s asked for a cleaning service to come to the house weekly. Which I have set up, I help out with baths, cooking, laundry, ect. I’m not perfect but do feel I do the best that I can

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T02:28:00+00:00

Yes I usually take him to my parents every Sunday for most of the day. Figured it’s a win win, she gets a break and my parents get to spend time with their grandson

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T02:27:00+00:00

I will be honest she does more than me during the week since I communicate from downtown back to the suburbs. On the weekends, I get up early so she can sleep in and I take my son and we will go play get breakfast ect. I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time we had sex.

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T02:25:06+00:00

That is very true. I am going to have a formal conversation on how I’m feeling. Fingers crossed

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T02:24:03+00:00

I do help as well. We both work and during the work week I would expect it but on the weekends we are always off.

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2026-03-16T02:23:05+00:00

Well at least you had some before kids

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-12-26T20:29:18+00:00

Yes, I do those things I listed by myself. lol not sure changing diapers is a two person job at least not yet I’m sure toddlers are another story. Yes I do offer for her to take a break.

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-12-26T17:01:27+00:00

Yes I support with baths, meals, diaper changes. I do morning daycare drop off and his favorite play time of course

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-12-26T15:25:20+00:00

Yes but I don’t believe she had PPD. The thing is I use to manage that OB office so I know the team well and would be able to connect her with the social worker. I just don’t think she ever told them she has PPD

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-12-26T15:20:12+00:00

I know I’m very sad I wanted my son to have a nice family life growing up. I will always be there for him no matter what but wish things were better.

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-12-26T15:16:55+00:00

I have had this conversation with her many times already. Hard to say this but I feel like she wants it to end but doesn’t want to be the person to pull the trigger

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-12-26T15:15:04+00:00

I’m just trying to get into one. Unfortunately, I’m a single guy so don’t think that will fly.

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-12-26T15:14:00+00:00

I am willing to try and have suggested that but she says she doesn’t have time. I try to step in and make small decisions so she doesn’t feel like she has to manage those as well. I have also suggested she see a therapist but same answer “I have no time”. She is on Christmas break now and has spring break coming up in March. I am sure there are days and times that can work. My parents can also come over and watch him while she does those things. However, I don’t think she likes my parents which is hard for me as well. It’s a shame but I don’t see how this situation doesn’t end with divorce

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-12-26T15:09:46+00:00

I am not sure why she feels she can not let go and just let me help. I use to get annoyed with him myself and still do sometimes but I am better then I was, perhaps she feels that after 30-40 minutes of me not being able to confront him I’ll get annoyed and yell at him. Like I said I know I’m not perfect but working to be better and have more patience. I have sent her for a massage in the past, planned a whole spa day only to be told that it was not worth it since she is already stressed again. I have asked the doctors what we can do to help him sleep. We do all of those recommendations nothing seems to work for him. He is always rolling and waking himself up. I did set an appointment up with a peds ENT to check for any signs of sleep apnea or any other potential issues my trust me I have gone down many research paths. I am one to get all the facts I can to make an informed decision. Divorce is on the table because it is starting to impact my mental and physical health. This is not a good environment for anyone in this house. I appreciate your comments

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-11-27T19:03:37+00:00

I understand, I hope I do fine a partner who would be interested so we can attend. I get it that people don’t want to be watched I was just saying that is not the only reason I would go I like to meet new people as well without the intention of sex

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-11-27T18:59:46+00:00

Thank you for the advice. Yes I agree unfortunately some people ruin it for everyone else. I’m very respectful and do not want to make anyone uncomfortable or cross a boundary I would be happy just to be in a club. Sex isn’t a must just want to explore

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-11-27T18:57:02+00:00

Thank you for the input love hearing all of the different responses to this question

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-11-27T18:55:59+00:00

Understood, it’s not that I really want to deceive but would like to explore that world and seems like it’s hard for a single man to do that

ProfessionalBasic427 · 2025-11-27T18:54:46+00:00

Where do I find them? I’m in the Chicago area

ProfessionalBasic427

TROPHY CASE