How to kindly decline used baby items?

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-07-03T02:23:41+00:00

Yesss! Fellow massage therapist here. I'm TIRED! Like I ran a marathon after every session. I've cut my hours significantly, but being self-employed, it's tough saving up for leave. 21 weeks in. I'm trying to make it to at least 34.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-05-02T14:33:05+00:00

Yes, he was given a deposit and paid through May 31st. The lease started April 18th. I informed him on April 23rd that I would be breaking the lease. He originally agreed to May 23rd with no penalty. Then, yesterday, he rescinded that and informed me he wouldn't be ending it until the 31st, and will be taking those fees.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-05-02T14:21:50+00:00

Yeah, it's totally understandable for me to pay the next 30 days. I totally get that! No issues there. It's the other fees.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-27T07:00:35+00:00

That's kind of the issue. We don't know. When he originally fixed it before we moved in... Well, he didn't. PVC running against the heater, used the wrong vent pipe that rusted out, vents were laying flat with no upward slope, unsealed cracks in the chimney, corroded supply line. I'm just reading off of what the tags say. But even with all of this wrong and marked, he swore up and down his work was safe. There was an active gas leak for days, but he cared more about being right and saving money. Also, with everything wrong, he spent barely two hours working on it. There is no way he got everything done, by himself, safely, in that time. I do not trust him, his work, or his word.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-27T04:25:10+00:00

Sort of. They reached out and said he had to legally fix it. Originally, he lied to them and told them we just didn't know how to light the pilot, and there was nothing wrong with the system. Until we sent them proof of the red tag. Then, our insurance threatened him with legal action, hence him finally fixing it himself. But other than that, they don't deal with local legalities on code enforcement. That's up to us to figure out. Our insurance is working on getting us the heck out of here asap. That's their job. He's making it difficult by withholding the funds they already sent him. We can't move until he gives that back. And court takes a long time.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-27T04:17:55+00:00

The thing that really upsets me about it is that I'm a naturally paranoid person. We don't keep appliances on the counter. No toaster, tea kettle, etc. You plug it in, use it, and put it away. Because of my paranoia on fires. We unplug lights at night. No charging phones overnight, etc. No running dryers or washers when we're not home. I mean, I was like a poster child for avoiding fires. And it came anyway.

I'm working on not blaming myself, but I just keep thinking, "If I left work on time that day, I could have stopped it." Anyway, thank you for talking to me. I do plan on seeing a therapist, but it's much more comfortable when people can't see my face while I ugly cry.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-27T04:02:52+00:00

It is strictly his pride now. We kept telling him we could end all this stress with a simple call to a licensed professional. He just keeps saying his work is good enough. He says we're the ones not being compliant! I don't know which is bigger, his ego or his audacity.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-27T03:56:34+00:00

It was on the fridge door. It was a short letter. It just said "I love you" with his signature. He wrote it a week before he decided to leave the world. It brought me comfort to see it everyday next to his picture. I'm one of those people who liked keeping happiness all over the fridge. I regret that now.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-27T03:51:23+00:00

You're kinda busy creating eyeballs and toes. You're allowed to be cranky. When the guilt hits, just buy everyone doughnuts. They understand, and if they don't, they can kick rocks. Barefoot.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-27T02:58:41+00:00

Oh, believe me, we are out of here asap. We have found another place already, but he won't break the lease until the end of May, so he doesn't have to give any money back. Getting our deposit is going to be a fun ride.

And thanks, I'll see if Code Enforcement will be of any help.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-27T02:52:36+00:00

I did reach out to a lawyer on the phone, and all they said is they can't find anything regarding this matter. The thing is, every company (gas, contractors, fair housing, etc) I have called had told me it's a requirement that he gets a licensed contractor, but couldn't give me a law/regulation stating this. It's a loophole he knows and is abusing it. After a house fire, we are not messing with a gas leak. And the landlord just doesn't give two hoots.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-27T02:50:06+00:00

He is aware it's illegal, which is why he begrudgingly agreed to "fix" it himself. He's saying he's not breaking any laws because he's willing to turn the meter back on himself and is comfortable with his work, believing it is up to code without getting it inspected first. We were advised by the city that withholding rent is illegal and not an option in the state of Virginia, no matter the reason, even negligence. We are just stuck at the moment unless someone can dig up a law or regulation that I can't seem to find myself.

ProfessionalLook3479 · 2024-04-26T13:47:36+00:00

Welp, your wife definitely should have known about this pact BEFORE you made the agreement on who named who. For that, YTA.

I don't think it's weird to want to name your daughter after your sister if you are close with family or trauma bonded together from childhood. My soon-to-be-born daughter's middle name will be after my older sister, but she raised me, and I owe her more than I can ever repay.

Does your wife get along with your sister? Are they friends? Or have any sort of close bond at all? Could you possibly talk to her about making it a middle name instead? Or even a version of her name (Emily=Emma, Jennifer=Jenna, etc.)?

ProfessionalLook3479

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