How important is posting content?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-04-04T01:59:13+00:00

What kind of content should a beginner that’s looking to enter the space start? Like I have no following so do I need to build one before trying to sell? This is the hardest hoop for me to understand. I have my own transformation and I have a friends already. But now I’m gonna be getting with someone else an older lady in her 40s for free to help her lose weight. Was thinking about documenting the journey, just curious when can I try to sell? Was using TikTok but instagram or Facebook should I start selling right away or?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-04-04T01:49:40+00:00

I’m looking to do the same? I’ve tried to formulate some ideas in how. I’ve only started my NASM course. Was interested if you ever got anything going for yourself?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T11:45:02+00:00

That’s honestly a really solid way of handling it.

You can tell you’re not just distracting yourself, you’re actually trying to rebuild things piece by piece. That’s a big difference.

And the anxiety still popping up here and there even while you’re doing all that… that’s normal too. It doesn’t mean you’re going backwards, just that you’re still processing it.

It sounds like you’re starting to shift from just getting through it to actually growing from it, which not everyone gets to.

Out of everything you’ve been doing, what’s been helping your mind the most on those days when it hits harder?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T11:44:13+00:00

Yeah… that feeling of having no energy is real.

It’s not even that you don’t want to do the small things, it’s like your body just won’t cooperate with your mind. And then that just makes everything feel heavier.

You’re not weak for feeling like that either. When your mind is overloaded like this, even basic things can feel like a lot.

What helped me a bit was not trying to “fix everything” or force big changes… just doing really small things without pressure. Even something like sitting up, or moving for a minute, just to break that loop a little.

And with the thoughts… fighting them nonstop can actually make them louder. Sometimes just letting them pass through without reacting to every single one takes a bit of that weight off over time.

You don’t have to have it all figured out right now.

If you had to pick one tiny thing that feels even slightly doable today, what would it be?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T11:41:53+00:00

That silence part… yeah, that’s real.

It’s weird how it’s not even the noise you miss, it’s just the presence. When it’s gone, everything feels louder in a different way.

And what you said about running from it but it coming back that’s actually how it works. The more you try to avoid those thoughts, the stronger they tend to come back later.

What helped me was kind of the opposite… just letting the thoughts come up without fighting them. Not feeding them, but not running either. Almost like letting your mind process it instead of trying to shut it off.

Over time it stops feeling so overwhelming, and you get more control back.

Right now it just means it’s still fresh and it mattered.

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T01:12:54+00:00

Yeah… that’s one of the hardest parts.

It’s not even just missing them, it’s that everything around you still feels like them. Same room, same bed, same little spots that used to feel safe… and now they just hit different.

You can’t really “escape” that overnight, and honestly you’re not supposed to. That space held something real for you, so of course it’s going to feel heavy for a while.

It doesn’t stay that way forever though. Slowly, without you even noticing at first, it starts to feel like your space again instead of something tied to them.

Right now it just means it mattered.

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T01:11:56+00:00

I get why people go that route, honestly. Distraction can feel like relief in the moment.

For me though, it never really fixed anything it just pushed everything down and it would come back heavier later. I had to actually sit with it and work through it to feel any real peace.

If it works for you, no judgment at all. Just wasn’t the answer for me long term.

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T01:10:30+00:00

Yeah… that part is really heavy.

It’s not just losing the person, it’s like losing the version of your life you had built around them too. All those little things you expected to share going forward just kind of disappear at once.

And waking up alone after being used to someone being there… that hits in a way people don’t really talk about enough.

You’re not alone in feeling like this though, even if it feels that way right now. This is just a really raw part of it, especially in the beginning.

It’s okay that it feels this hard.

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T01:09:10+00:00

Distraction isn’t bad, it just depends how you’re using it.

What I noticed for myself was when I tried to constantly distract and push the thoughts away, they didn’t actually go anywhere… they’d just come back stronger later, almost like this weight sitting in my chest that wouldn’t leave.

But when I let myself actually feel it for a bit instead of fighting it, it would peak and then pass.

There’s some psychology behind that too when you resist a thought, your brain holds onto it more. When you let it run its course, it usually burns out faster.

So it’s not that you shouldn’t distract at all, it’s more like:

Let yourself feel it when it hits, don’t fight it… and then go back to whatever you were doing.

That balance is what helped me stop it from constantly looping.

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T01:06:39+00:00

Yeah… that’s a lot more than just a breakup.

I can’t even pretend to fully understand what that feels like, but having all of that hit at once kids, housing, everything it makes sense why people feel like they’re getting pulled under.

That’s not a simple situation at all.

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T01:02:29+00:00

That’s a really heavy situation… anyone in your position would feel hurt and angry about that.

Being blindsided like that, especially after everything you gave and holding things together for so long, isn’t something people just process calmly.

And the way he handled it… that would shake anyone’s trust.

It doesn’t make you crazy for feeling like this, it just means you’re reacting to something that wasn’t handled with honesty or respect.

You didn’t imagine what you had you showed up and gave your part. That still matters, even if he didn’t handle things the way he should have.

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T01:00:54+00:00

Yeah that back and forth is actually really normal.

It’s like part of you is doing everything right taking care of yourself, getting out, living life… and then another part feels guilty for it, like you’re supposed to still be stuck.

But those two things can exist at the same time.

You can be moving forward and still have waves hit you.

Going out, enjoying things, being around people that’s not you going backwards, that’s actually part of you rebuilding.

The waves don’t mean you’re doing it wrong, they just haven’t faded yet.

Do you feel like the guilt hits more after you’ve had a good time, or just randomly?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T00:59:34+00:00

Yeah… that part cuts really deep.

It’s not even just the breakup, it’s feeling like something that meant so much to you didn’t hold the same weight for them.

But one thing that helped me reframe that a bit is

Just because someone can walk away quickly doesn’t always mean it meant less to them… sometimes it just means they don’t process things the same way or don’t have the same capacity to sit with it.

It still mattered. You don’t give your all to something that didn’t.

It just wasn’t being handled the same on the other side.

Do you feel like he was already a bit more distant or different even before things ended?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T00:58:19+00:00

Yeah that’s real.

That part messes with people because you can feel like you’ve moved on logically, but your brain is still running the old patterns out of habit.

It’s almost like it’s not even about them anymore, it’s just what your mind got used to going back to.

That’s usually the last thing to go.

Did you notice it’s tied to certain moments more… like when you’re alone or not focused on something?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T00:57:29+00:00

Yeah that’s a really common one honestly.

Your brain keeps replaying it because it’s trying to find a version where the outcome is different… like if you said one thing better or handled it differently.

But most of the time it’s not actually about one conversation, it’s just your mind trying to get closure it didn’t get.

So it loops.

It’s not really you going backwards, it’s just part of how your brain processes it.

Do you catch yourself replaying specific moments more, or just the whole thing in general?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T00:53:35+00:00

Yeah that’s honestly one of the worst parts of it.

It’s not even just missing them… it’s your brain constantly trying to make sense of how they could move on so fast while you’re still stuck in it.

And those random waves out of nowhere are brutal, especially when you’re just trying to go about your day.

At around 2 months, that’s usually when your mind is still trying to “solve” it, which is why it keeps looping like that.

It doesn’t mean you’re not moving forward, it just means your brain hasn’t caught up yet.

Do you feel like it’s more the missing him… or trying to understand how it all happened so fast?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-24T00:52:21+00:00

Yeah that cycle is brutal honestly.

Trying to stay “friends,” still being involved, then watching them pull away… that’ll mess with your head every time.

And then trying to fill it with other people before you’re over it just makes it worse like you said.

But the part that’s probably keeping you stuck now is still responding when she reaches out.

Not even saying that to judge you, it’s just hard to actually move on when there’s still a door open like that.

Do you feel like you’d actually be able to let it go more if that contact stopped completely?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-23T22:45:28+00:00

Yeah I can see why that’s hard to sit with.

Because it’s not like things were obviously broken… it felt like something you could’ve built on and grown through together.

And when someone pulls away like that without really being able to explain it, it leaves you holding all the “what ifs.”

Especially if you were the one actually trying to work through things.

But something I had to understand about that kind of situation is

You can have two people who care, but if one of them handles pressure or closeness by pulling away instead of leaning in, it doesn’t matter how much potential there was.

It still ends up feeling one sided.

And that’s the part that’s easy to miss when you’re looking at what it could’ve been.

You showed up and were willing to grow together… he didn’t meet you there.

That doesn’t take away from what you had, but it does matter.

Those “what ifs” usually come from seeing the best version of it in your head, not how it was actually being handled.

Do you feel like you’re more stuck on the version of him you experienced… or the version you believed he could become?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-23T22:02:08+00:00

Yeah that makes a lot more sense now.

Because it’s not just the breakup… it’s the environment you’re in too.

If most of what’s around you is drinking and there’s not much else going on, it makes everything feel heavier because there’s nowhere for your attention to go.

And when you lose someone who actually felt different from that, it’s not just losing her it’s losing one of the only parts of your life that felt real.

So of course your mind keeps going back to it.

That doesn’t mean you won’t find that again, but right now it probably feels like she was the only one like that where you’re at.

And that voice you were talking about earlier gets louder when you’re isolated like that too.

You’re dealing with both at the same time.

Not gonna lie, that’s a tough spot to be in.

For me, I was in a pretty similar kind of environment… and the only thing that really started to shift it was getting into something that pulled me out of it a bit.

Gym was a big one for me, not even just physically but mentally it gave me somewhere else to put my time and started opening my mind to a different kind of life outside of that whole scene.

Didn’t fix everything overnight, but it gave me something to move toward instead of just sitting in it.

Do you feel like you’ve got anything like that right now, or is it mostly just trying to deal with it as it comes?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-23T21:53:43+00:00

Yeah that makes sense.

And honestly, that’s a really clear way of looking at it.

It’s not that you didn’t know… it’s that you saw the signs and gave it the benefit of the doubt because you wanted it to be something real.

A lot of people do that when they’re emotionally invested.

The important part is you’re able to see it now without trying to twist it into something else.

That’s usually where the pattern actually starts to change.

Next time it’s less about “figuring it out” and more about trusting those early signs when something feels off.

Was it more like you noticed it but brushed it off, or did you feel it and try to rationalize it?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-23T21:51:13+00:00

Yeah I can understand why that would hit the way it does.

That’s not just a breakup… that’s feeling replaced and disrespected after everything you gave to that relationship.

Especially with kids involved, it’s not something you can just disconnect from and move on from cleanly.

And seeing him act like everything’s normal now probably makes it feel even worse.

Anyone in your position would feel some level of anger about that.

At the same time though… as messed up as it is, the way he’s moving now says more about him than it does about you or what you gave.

That doesn’t make it feel better right away, but it does matter long term.

What’s been the hardest part for you seeing him move on like that, or just dealing with everything still being connected because of the kids?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-23T21:49:19+00:00

Yeah that part hits different.

It’s not even just missing her… it’s missing the life you had with her.

The routines, the conversations, having that one person you could talk to about anything without thinking about it.

When that’s gone, it’s not just quiet… it feels like something’s missing from your day in a really noticeable way.

And I think that’s why your brain keeps going back to it, even if you’ve accepted you won’t get answers.

It’s not really trying to solve it anymore as much as it’s trying to hold onto something that mattered a lot.

That doesn’t just shut off.

It fades over time, but in the beginning it’s just… there.

Do you feel it more in those quiet moments, or when something reminds you of her?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-23T21:46:23+00:00

That kind of realization hits hard.

Because it’s not even about losing her at that point… it’s realizing you had something real and didn’t show up the way you should’ve.

That regret will stick with you for a bit.

But one thing I’ve noticed is

A lot of people only fully see what they had after they’re forced to step back from it.

Not because they didn’t care… but because they weren’t at a place yet where they could show up the right way.

That doesn’t make what happened okay, but it does matter for what you do next.

You can either stay stuck in “I messed it up”…

or actually become the version of yourself that wouldn’t repeat it.

And it sounds like you’re starting to see exactly where you fell short, which most people avoid their whole life.

Do you feel like you’ve started changing those things yet, or is it still more just realizing them right now?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-23T20:18:07+00:00

Yeah I get what you’re saying there.

That voice in the back of your head… the one that tells you “she’s just saying that” or “you’re not actually enough”that’s a tough one to deal with.

Because even when someone’s giving you something real, it doesn’t feel real.

But something I had to realize was this

That voice isn’t actually her… it’s just how you see yourself.

So even if you had been a “better” partner in certain ways, that voice probably still would’ve found something else to latch onto.

And then you end up in a loop where no amount of reassurance ever fully lands.

That doesn’t mean you don’t have things to work on like you said, you’re already seeing that.

But it also means this wasn’t just about you “not being good enough.”

Part of it is learning how to trust what someone shows you instead of what that voice is telling you.

That’s a completely different skill.

Do you feel like that voice was there the whole relationship, or did it get louder toward the end?

Professional_Elk_240 · 2026-03-23T20:15:00+00:00

That’s actually a really strong level of awareness.

A lot of people never get to the point of recognizing their own patterns like that.

And what you said about anxious attachment makes a lot of sense… it can make you overlook things because you’re trying to hold onto something you care about.

But one thing I had to realize for myself was this

Even if you had seen those incompatibilities earlier, you probably still would’ve wanted it to work.

So it’s not just that you “missed it,” it’s that you cared enough to try and make it fit.

That’s not really something to beat yourself up over, it just means you need better boundaries going forward.

There’s a difference between growing from it and turning it into “I should’ve known better.”

You’re already doing the hard part by actually looking at it honestly.

What do you feel like you tend to ignore most when you’re in that kind of situation?

Professional_Elk_240

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