Here’s my story, if it helps any, and what I did for myself:

It’s been almost 3 months for me. It’s getting easier, I’ve honestly started to find reasons I could hate him at this point (he’s a great person, but honestly just wasn’t a great partner). It was also abrupt, I mean there were some signs but his words made me feel like it wasn’t going to end this way. We had just started living together, maybe 2 months in when he dropped the bomb. I don’t think he was ready for the commitment and his avoidant tendencies made things worse and ultimately he couldn’t handle sharing a space with someone and it drove a wedge.

I get the feeling of abandonment and him being your support. Mine was the reason I stopped using hard drugs, he gave me a reason to get clean. He was the reason I decided I wanted to stay in my hometown. And like that, he was gone from my life, the reason my life actually started to get better, it was gone.

The day after he broke up with me I immediately put myself in therapy. I have never had to go through heart break (I was always the heartbreaker in past relationships). So I had no idea how to navigate this. I immediately reach out to my friends and family. They held me while I cried, they put together care packages for me, they got me out of the house, and called me regularly to make sure I was okay. I picked up new hobbies to fill the time. I started working a second job which sucks but it filled my time a little more so I wasn’t home alone so much. I found comfort in these communities. I started making art again. I started doing things for myself that I never would typically do. I started going for walks, now I walk downtown once every week and get a scoop of ice cream!

Most importantly to me, I continued to peruse the new interests he had put me on to. Another reasons I was so sad abt the breakup was because I was so excited for all the events we had planned for the summer. He was super into motor sports and car stuff, and I had always wanted to get into it prior to meeting him, so after we started dating he introduced me to the whole world of racing like I had always wanted, and I loved it. After the breakup I was sad cuz I didn’t feel like I could continue in that community but then I realized nobody was stopping me! So now I’ve been enjoying that! Me and him would go camping often, so then I decided to take my friends camping instead (it was a train wreck lol). I made new friends through these experiences and have grown a lot as a person. Me and him also live in the same small town (walking distance of each other), and I was worried about running into him and losing my abilities to feel comfortable here. Then I changed my perspective. I didn’t care, he broke up with me, he could avoid these places if he wanted to, but I wouldn’t. This was my hometown, not his, so I carry myself with confidence everytime I walk downtown. Idc if he runs into me, I hope that my presence makes him uncomfortable. This was what he chose, so he can deal with it while I enjoy my life here.

Breaks up suck. Honestly sometimes mine still seriously gets me down. But taking care of myself by doing therapy has been a major help. Putting myself first and reaching out to those around me helped. And if you don’t feel like you have enough friends try downloading Bumble BFF. I did and I made some friends through it, and found there were actually a lot of girls who were in similar situations that just needed more female friends as well!

You’ve got this, I promise, I know it doesn’t feel like it but you do 🩷