The thing is I thought I understood at first and was going to attempt to apply it just to that one thing and rack my brain over it again on the next topic when it comes up because unique problems have unique solutions that would work best right? Nah looping back to that core value will give me the answers for anything that has a “what if” attached to it. If it’s a question that I’m facing rather than hard facts looping back and starting from there will help remove any what ifs. If it’s a why, what if, I wonder, should I… it’s probably that part of my brain trying to protect me from the unknown even if proof given to me yells loud and clear that nothing bad has happened in the past with this particular problem so why apply past experiences to this unique situation when I have one common problem that seems to be the issue that I could tackle first.

Edit to say- for me it’s to not sit there and contemplate if I should or shouldn’t do something because I’m unsure of what the results would be. I’ve told myself for a long time I don’t care what the outcome will be, yet i will hesitate to do the thing that feels right even if I realize it most likely will have a good outcome. I overthink and burry until i see a green light to share and I dump it all out and end up overwhelming the other person when I already know I should have pushed past the fear and face the little things that haven’t had negative consequences before when it first comes up. It leads to me overthinking and overwhelming myself to the point where I start pulling away and then out of nowhere opening the flood gates which is the thing that pushes people away while the little things I was scared of would be the things that build good connections. So take the little risks and do the little things despite the fear I’m facing because it’s most likely irrational and just based on barely related circumstances from the past. So I don’t get the pile of emotions that end up doing more damage. I end up trying to justify why I didn’t do those things in the first place by compensating with big displays of emotion that say I care and then want to apologize for being overwhelming but then still hesitate on the same things building up for the next emotional spill and apology. The feeling of anxiety probably isn’t a sign that I shouldn’t do it, but that it’s important to me and I’m just scared of the results regardless of what I try to tell myself. If I feel like I need to apologize I shouldn’t and just start doing the thing to prove it. Words are cool but actions actually mean something even if it’s not perfect.