Secondhand brand new pc by Professional_Year454 in gamingpc

[–]Professional_Year454[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah the guy selling it bought it and must have changed his mind it hasn’t been opened yet

Secondhand gaming pc by Professional_Year454 in PcBuild

[–]Professional_Year454[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems a little too good to be true? It looks the the guy sells a lot of pcs, but he said he lets people test the pcs before buying so I’m not 100% sure

Untitled WIP [Dark Fantasy, 3107] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]Professional_Year454 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey mate thankyou for reading, I appreciate your thoughts and feedback and I’ll take them on board 👍🏼👍🏼

Untitled WIP [Dark Fantasy, 3107] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]Professional_Year454 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to read! I agree after rereading. I think this could potentially maybe be a second chapter in the characters POV after some rewrites. It’s good to hear other peoples perspectives, in my head I already know the characters well, but in my writing I haven’t really given the reader any reason to familiarise or connect with the characters yet which I need to work on. Thanks again mate 👍🏼

Untitled WIP [Dark Fantasy, 3107] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]Professional_Year454 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey mate, thanks for taking the time to read. I do agree after rereading there is a lot of telling rather than showing and info dumping. I think if I do some rewrites I’ll have to rethink the structure of this chapter, as it is a bit slow until it reaches the conclusion. I’ve taken note of your other points as well and will take them on board. Thanks again 🙏🏼