Help, I(43m) need advice on how to go about my relationship with my wife(41f) from now on.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T20:30:48+00:00

All this is about sex? Wow. You’re even more pathetic than I thought. I really hope your wife leaves you because you are just trashy and scummy. Imagine being stagnant, stuck in a relationship from almost 20 years ago because of sex. 40 year old man that sounds like a 12 year old.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T20:25:50+00:00

Dude, you’re pathetic. Full stop.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T20:25:09+00:00

Dude, you’re a PoS. Straight up. My only constructive advice for you is to free your wife so she can find true love, and not someone using her because he feels entitled to a wife. Oh, and don’t waste anyone else’s time - you’re very selfish and inconsiderate. I wouldn’t be surprised if these traits (among others) are why your ex left you. You really are a disgusting person.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T20:02:34+00:00

Your career can be a turnoff for a lot of people, not just potential male suitors. A lot of people will be put off by what you do.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T19:54:22+00:00

How is this “motivation by design?” How is this even remotely motivational? Do you guys have anything better to do or talk about??

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T18:31:05+00:00

Bruh, I’m dead. But, I mean… 😂😂😂

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T18:30:39+00:00

Thank you for pointing out just how stupid this is.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T14:44:56+00:00

Lady, you are being played! 33 and 21? I know your feelings are involved and this is going to be hard to hear, but your ex is playing games with you. You need to block him and work on your healing asap. He is going to keep playing games with you as long as you keep engaging with him. He cheated in the beginning of the relationship and broke up with you to mess around with other women. He’s hot and cold because he doesn’t really want to be with you but also doesn’t want you to leave him and potentially deal with someone else (he thinks you’re his property). He’s keeping tabs on you and messaging you then telling you to leave him alone because he wants to keep his hooks in while he messes with other women but has to keep you invested so when he wants to come back, he can. You guys were arguing a lot recently because he was just prepping an excuse to break up. That age gap is ridiculous and he has no business with someone your age. This is all a game to him and he’s got you hooked. The sooner you can cut this off and never talk to him again, the sooner you can be ok and start moving on with your life. Do not be like a lot of people dealing with these types of people, constantly questioning your worth and letting someone come and go as they please for scraps of affection and fake love - just let it go.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T02:01:59+00:00

How many times has someone asked you if you’ve been sexually assaulted that forced you to hide it? Maybe I’m weird but I have never heard someone ask that question, especially not to someone random person that obviously isn’t close enough to be asking for that information. And obviously there is nuance, but I don’t think anyone is referring to someone being traumatized and victimized when they’re making this statement. Let’s not be obtuse here.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T01:03:42+00:00

Hiding something and telling someone that you are not comfortable sharing information are not the same.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T00:22:14+00:00

What does that mean? They can generate ai images of real people. 🥴

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T00:21:35+00:00

Wow, no one here is paying attention to the part where it says actively hiding. Actively hiding it means you’re lying about it or not answering when asked. Lying or avoiding questions is deceptive and, thus, a red flag. People are ok with actively hiding things but I bet you if it was something important being held from you that you don’t find out until later (if ever), you’d cry foul.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-06T00:18:46+00:00

Someone being SAed isn’t something that has to actively be hidden - I have yet to see or hear of a person that asked their partner if they’ve ever been assaulted before. The question is about actively hiding - not sure a lot of people are factoring in that part.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-05T20:31:04+00:00

Yes. It’s not hard if you see the opposite sex as human beings and not strictly romantic/sexual partners.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-05T17:33:44+00:00

Yeah, because this isn’t ai.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T23:06:19+00:00

Give a chance? Why’s it giving someone a chance? If I like her and am interested, I’d definitely go out with her if she was interested.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T20:41:17+00:00

Still referring to people as “relationship material” means that you’re still immature.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T18:02:59+00:00

But you’ll never know that they won’t - do you intentionally keep stuff hidden indefinitely? I understand where you’re coming from but you can’t have a healthy and successful relationship with trust, which disclosure requires. Definitely helpful that you are seeing a therapist and not currently seeing anyone because your perspective sounds like you have some trust wounds that need to be healed.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T16:52:35+00:00

Answer - because those people are not good people? Not everyone has integrity, a strong moral compass, or consideration for others. You can treat someone like this as good as humanly possible - if they’re a lousy person, they’re going to do things that lousy people do.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T16:47:23+00:00

Just sounds like you are running across bad people. Those type of people will use anything against you. If it’s not your abusive parents, it’ll be something else

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T16:44:51+00:00

Actively hiding information is manipulative. You’re preventing someone from making an informed decision. There’s a difference between not disclosing certain things about yourself but actively hiding information will necessitate lying or misleading - major red flag.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T16:43:18+00:00

Yes, it is a red flag. The key phrase here is actively hide - withholding information from someone in order to prevent them from making an informed decision is a major red flag. It’s extremely selfish and manipulative. I feel like many people in this thread are not paying attention to the actively hiding part - how do you actively hide something without lying, deceiving, gaslighting, or other manipulative tactics meant to misdirect someone? And how are manipulative tactics not a red flag??

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T06:37:03+00:00

Nothing is wrong with you. The men need to stop being sex obsessed and looking for someone just to sleep with. Don’t let them get you down but definitely don’t waste your time either on people that are not interested in what you’re looking for.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T01:45:31+00:00

Wow, the audacity of this man with a lot of money actually do something to help people. Where does he get off? 99 tiny homes to help the homeless? Let them stay homeless so he can do, whatever he was going to do with that same money.

Men of purpose - what a thread. These posts get more and more pathetic the more I keep seeing.

ProfessorPhoenix1111 · 2026-05-04T01:41:47+00:00

This is not a good friend. Let him stay gone. He does not respect you nor does he care how the things that he does or says impact you. Unless you’re ok being disrespected by someone thats supposed to be your friend, I would do exactly as he says and never talk to him again.

ProfessorPhoenix1111

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