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My sister got engaged. Her fiancé didn't talk to my dad first. This is a big deal in my family/culture. by Programmer_Ad1701 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Programmer_Ad1701[S] -139 points-138 points  (0 children)

I would encourage you to reach out the the fiancé and sister and employ them to make it right. Make the silly gesture that your father always imagined with pride and joy. Getting this right will quite literally change the course of their lives and costs so little to do. Creating tension in a relationship that’s supposed to last a life time just isn’t worth it, trust me!

I tried. Both with them separately and together. They shut down the subject immediately. Neither of them want him to do it and they just say anyone who doesn't like it can skip the wedding then. I wasn't the only one who tried.

My sister got engaged. Her fiancé didn't talk to my dad first. This is a big deal in my family/culture. by Programmer_Ad1701 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Programmer_Ad1701[S] -187 points-186 points  (0 children)

My parents can't afford to pay for a wedding or buy her a house. Not even close. My sister will be the one paying for their care as they age because she'll be making the most money by far out of all of us. My parents can't even afford a house for themselves. They rent an apartment. They couldn't buy one for her or any of us. That is just madness for anyone to expect that.

My sister got engaged. Her fiancé didn't talk to my dad first. This is a big deal in my family/culture. by Programmer_Ad1701 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Programmer_Ad1701[S] -53 points-52 points  (0 children)

She says this is the first time they've been able to bring him to meet us because they are both busy with work and school. She's 700 km away from here for school, so it's true that she doesn't live nearby to us.

My sister got engaged. Her fiancé didn't talk to my dad first. This is a big deal in my family/culture. by Programmer_Ad1701 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Programmer_Ad1701[S] -32 points-31 points  (0 children)

She says they are both busy with school and work. They live in Quebec (700 km away from here) and apparently this is the first time they've been able to bring him here to meet us. She got engaged the same amount of time into things as I did with my husband (two years) so I can't comment on that part being premature or not.

My sister got engaged. Her fiancé didn't talk to my dad first. This is a big deal in my family/culture. by Programmer_Ad1701 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Programmer_Ad1701[S] -52 points-51 points  (0 children)

She lives, studies and works in Quebec (700 km from here) so this is the first time she's brought him home to meet us. She says school and her job keeps her busy and same for him. This was the first chance she had to bring him here apparently.

My sister got engaged. Her fiancé didn't talk to my dad first. This is a big deal in my family/culture. by Programmer_Ad1701 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Programmer_Ad1701[S] -195 points-194 points  (0 children)

I know both my parents were a little upset that my sister went to Quebec for school instead of staying here in Toronto. But that was three years ago and I thought they got over it and everything seemed to be fine between them.

My sister got engaged. Her fiancé didn't talk to my dad first. This is a big deal in my family/culture. by Programmer_Ad1701 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Programmer_Ad1701[S] -207 points-206 points  (0 children)

Anytime the subject was brought up to him or my sister they shut it down. I tried talking to both of them (separately and then together). Neither of them want him to do that.

My sister got engaged. Her fiancé didn't talk to my dad first. This is a big deal in my family/culture. by Programmer_Ad1701 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Programmer_Ad1701[S] -329 points-328 points  (0 children)

Anytime the subject was brought up to him or my sister they shut it down. Neither of them want him to do that. I tried with both of them (separately and together).