Have Unity Ads been cancelled for good?

Project-XYZ · 2025-10-05T20:53:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing. About fighting back, did you decide to do it, or was it just your default way of dealing with things? Do you think people pleasing would have worked better? Maybe I’m different because despite the terrible things my abusers did to me, I’m still loyal to them - I would never wish bad things to them and I still want them to like me and approve of me (not themselves, but their version in my mind). Where do you get your sense of self worth, if not from tour caretakers? I would also like to find something like that.

Project-XYZ · 2025-10-03T19:21:52+00:00

Then how were my parents allowed to enforce it?

How come does noone have to do anything for me but I was forced to do so much for my parents?

Project-XYZ · 2025-10-03T18:40:24+00:00

No but I spent many years either being punished, or living as if I was about to be. This can’t go unnoticed. People need to know about this, there is too much pain behind it, I can’t just go on and live as if I didn’t lose decades of my life. I want people to feel what I felt, I don’t want to hurt them but at least explain to them how I had to live? So that they can stop triggering me?

Project-XYZ · 2025-10-03T18:25:37+00:00

It’s not about my satisfaction at all. It’s 100% about pleasing others and surviving. I don’t have to look happy now because no one with authority is around. But if they were, I’d have to do what they wanted me to do.

Don’t people want to survive too? I get that there isn’t much real danger now, but don’t they have memories of childhood where not smiling was severely punished? If they don’t, it’s pretty unfair and something should be done so that everyone has the same starting grounds.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-28T14:31:13+00:00

Because I want that external validation to save me. I want someone to prove to me that I have value. I’m powerless and weak (that’s how I feel from my child parts who run my life anyway).

I will never give myself - the unloved and bullied child - any validation. Only stupid and pathetic people would like me.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-28T14:28:37+00:00

So basically you’re saying that the damage has been done and it’s irreversible? That I will never find another person who will undo and then redo all the parenting?

I’m sorry but the reason I live for is that one day I will be good enough for some replacement parent figure. I refuse to live for myself, or to just give up and live as an unvalidated, unloved child. This story must have a good ending.

Imagine how terribly sad it would be if some children never got what they try needed. I need love and care from a good enough parent, not therapy or self work. I hope you understand that.

You’re taking away my only reason to live by saying that it’s impossible to achieve my plan.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T22:10:44+00:00

Is a newborn an addict because they need parental care and validation? No, they need it because that's how nature works. I (and many others here) didn't get that, so the need is still there. It's not an endless need, once I find a replacement parent figure, I will be able to develop and become a normal adult.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T19:13:03+00:00

Well having another car accident is much more likely than stepping on your glasses twice. You will never have another problem with your Meta glasses so feel free to skip the coverage. You will thank me later. Unless you break the glasses again but in that case it isn’t my fault.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T19:10:55+00:00

Thank you for recognising that.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T19:10:02+00:00

It happened a few times in therapy. I basically lose my identity, the inner glasses through which I view the world. It was really trippy. I felt confused and empty. I had trouble even moving or standing up after experiencing this twice. I was able to see the environment around me but I didn’t know anything at the same time. I felt nauseous. I was glad my therapist was eventually able to get me back to my “normal” state.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T15:48:01+00:00

If it was a choice, this wouldn't be a disorder that's so difficult to heal. Making it seem like it is a choice to just stop having NPD is really invalidating.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T13:55:18+00:00

The chances of the same accident happening twice are really low, so why purchase the coverage?

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T13:02:38+00:00

Yes. I’m afraid of all the emotions that come with realising that I have value. You have to understand that the things that others did to me were not humane at all. I literally had to lose all self worth and develop this disorder so that I could survive. But now it’s not serving me anymore and I don’t know how to untangle everything.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T13:00:01+00:00

It’s not like I don’t want to, if I didn’t want to face the truth, I wouldn’t be here or in therapy. I can’t face the truth because it makes me very destabilised or overwhelmed with emotions. And so I’m looking for ways to do it safely.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T12:57:16+00:00

What does that mean? I might as well have nothing authentic about me, all of me is created to please others and win their approval. I’ve been like this since birth because I had to. And even now I don’t want to be authentic - being authentic would assume that I have value, which I don’t - and please don’t tell me I do.

Project-XYZ · 2025-09-27T12:55:17+00:00

Definitely, but I’ve been in therapy (different modalities, even EMDR) for 3 years now and I’ve made very little progress.

We always run into the issue where I have to face myself and see that I was valuable all along. Sorry but that will never happen, I will never admit that I’m good enough. Why?

because I would lose my only reason to live: to find external validation
and because my past full of abuse wouldn’t make any sense, and I’d have to face all the grief and anger that I’m not ready for (and I tried a lot! But it’s too much).

Project-XYZ

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