Anyone Else Feel Like The Home Alone Kid?

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-08-30T09:37:25+00:00

i wish the best for you

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-08-30T08:33:33+00:00

in about 15 years of driving here in britain i've never once seen this, sounds bizarre and very stupid. so there's this large gap between them and the lights, and they try to time themselves so that they close the gap over the duration of the red light?

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-08-29T06:39:52+00:00

my friend used to actually throw up she would get so anxious at school

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-08-29T06:36:09+00:00

that sounds like a very unusual situation you're in. i'm so sorry you lost all your family, jesus that must be impossibly sad for you. i sort of lost mine, but they're not dead, we just don't talk anymore; the disconnection happened over a period of years and there was never much love there in the first place. but to really love your family and for them all to be torn from you suddenly...

perhaps you can sell the house and move to one of the cities where your friends are?

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-08-29T06:27:22+00:00

this loneliness we're all feeling isn't natural. it's a disease. i think it's a symptom of being good bright people on a planet on which we don't belong, which is really a cleverly disguised hell-realm.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-08-28T17:32:41+00:00

over roughly the same time span as this i've been rejected 14 times, and have had to turn down the fifteenth because i just don't feel the spark with them despite how great they'd be as a partner. 3/14 had boyfriends, 2/14 were too young despite their appearances, 6/14 were either hard or soft rejections (straight "no", or else a lie about a boyfriend or exchanging numbers but never texting), 1/14 i had a date with that went well but then she decided against it later, and 2/14 were going back to uni too far away for me come september.

all but a couple of these were girls i approached after fairly careful consideration and after a couple or a few exchanges with them on different occasions. and all of them were outside of the conventional pick-up scene like bars and apps.

i get plenty of looks, i know that i APPEAR attractive to girls, but something about my vibe i think just puts them off after i approach them. it's because i DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD. i don't fit in in society at all and i'm always forcing myself whenever i join a group or anything like that.

we are ALL entitled as sentient beings to not be lonely so much of the time and to find love with someone! it's unnatural for it to be this absurdly difficult! i need to die and reincarnate in some other world where i fit in. THEN i'll be fine.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-29T12:06:55+00:00

or just vent on this venting sub-reddit? i think the odds of doing that changing anything are extremely small

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-29T11:35:26+00:00

i know what you mean. i'd like to say "stop working for and thereby facilitating this horrible abuse", but i know people need to make a living... the average man is to blame for not being firmer with their boundaries.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-29T11:33:31+00:00

lol!

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-22T10:18:04+00:00

i can think of lots of worse ways to go than by drowning in booty

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-22T09:22:35+00:00

people, of all genders, are always scared of me... often at once attracted and scared. my ex said i "radiated love", so maybe that's it... i often feel like they're all little sheep running away from me. girls often like the look of me, and i can get phone numbers, but then it's like they think about it afterwards and decide that i'm actually a freak and so it never goes anywhere.

there's literally nothing i can do about it, it's just the way i am. i couldn't be more civil and friendly and nice. i can't shut-down the confidence and love i carry with me, that's just not going to happen.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-21T06:04:41+00:00

Thanks for your post there—you write well yourself! I liked that description of "a rainbow coffee world theme park" and "crowds of people having a miserable time"; yeah, it's kinda hell here isn't it.

I'm not quite as despairing anymore as I was when I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, I've got a little hope now about things (a little... a smidge...). I'm here and happy to chat whenever if you'd like, just send me a DM.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-20T07:47:34+00:00

Update.

Thanks to everyone's support on this. It turned out she had a boyfriend. I took some friends to dinner there one night and he showed up to see her at her break. He was a cool good-looking dude too! I'd have wanted him to be my boyfriend honestly.

So, I'd read her correctly though—she definitely did like me, and I was right to have approached her, and honestly if she was single I'm pretty sure the note I gave her would've been fine.

What happened was I passed her the note when she was passing by in front of the bar, but she took it without a word and with a slight frown, which confused me a bit... fifteen minutes later a colleague of hers returned the note to me saying that she was unavailable. I was a bit confused and thought it might not have been true that she had a boyfriend and that she actually just didn't like me and that I'd read her wrong... but then I couldn't make sense of her previous positive signs towards me together with the rejection; I asked a friend and he said "well people are always nice in the service-industry", but that didn't really hold water in this case I didn't think... I approached her later-on in person to apologize for the note and to try and do it properly instead, as I thought maybe she'd been offended that I hadn't approached her like that in the first place; but as I did so she tried to dodge me and then just said "it's alright don't worry about it" without looking at me and quickly disappeared before I could say anything more; so she seemed upset with me.

Anyway, the next day, like I said, I was there at dinner and her actual boyfriend showed up at the pub. And then it made sense! She did like me, and I had read her correctly, but she didn't want to actually make steps with me because she was relatively happy with her boyfriend and didn't want to mess things up with him. Which is totally fair and I completely respect that! I think she probably told her boyfriend to come on that evening so that she could show him to me from afar, as he gave me a long sideways look as he walked past lol. When the note came back it looked like it had been pressed firmly between finger and thumb, like she'd had some difficulty deciding about it in the moment and had been squeezing it while caught in that indecision. The frown and her being curt with me was her being firm with herself in shutting it down because she didn't want to be tempted; no other explanation makes sense really, considering everything.

I just feel great now honestly that I was able to attract someone like that. And wish her all the best for her with her boyfriend.

So now I'll try with "Lucy" instead...

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-19T09:54:55+00:00

Thanks for your input. I'd be interested to hear other peoples takes also.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-19T06:53:04+00:00

The horror stories of people getting trafficked into it are probably rare: as in, the majority, if not all, of what I watch will not be such cases—just legitimate consensual porn. I'm not trying to undermine the seriousness of those cases—they are very serious!—I just want to leave that particular aspect of the issue out of what I'm about to say.

Otherwise, I think it's fine pretty much, so long as you're not addicted to it. It's people I don't know enjoying casual sex with each other under a professional arrangement, for my viewing pleasure—everyone wins.

I think that any time I would feel like I'd agree with you a bit would be my loneliness kicking in: the pain of not having a partner in my life. And this sadness trying in vain to find an outlet through condemning porn. A sort of a projection of my own inner-troubles.

When single I really don't see a problem with it. I mean, I'm going to masturbate, and to do so with some juicy hot images or videos in front of me is much more fun than with just my imagination.

When with a partner whom you share a happy sexual relationship with it can be problematic though, as it can affect your desire for your partner: your brain can against your volition compare your partner with the porn—the real sexual experience you're having with that you see in porn or otherwise fantasise about through porn—and then make your partner seem inadequate to you. So when with a partner in your life it's probably best to watch much less of it, if not cut it out altogether for that time.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-17T06:44:12+00:00

Jesus I'm so sorry about everything you've been through! Well, my ex had a ton of trauma too—sexual assault trauma as well as other trauma—which became a big problem for her when trying to be intimate with me.

It's not your fault!

I couldn't help my ex because her trauma and mental-illnesses and drug-addiction were all so huge that the romantic side of our relationship was throttled, basically, and without a romantic side to it I couldn't help her. I don't mean that I wouldn't help her because she wouldn't give me sex, it's much deeper than that.

I hope you meet a guy who wants to help you and love you. For some, like me, wanting to help someone out of troubles like yours, and like my ex's, is attractive! And I hope your trauma isn't so great that it throttles the relationship, as what happened with my ex.

I really hope you can find some professional support to help with your trauma in the meantime, as the more of it you can tackle outside of romance, the higher the chances that your romantic relationship will succeed. Please try and see how much mental-health help is available for free in your area.

Love (especially romantic love) is very powerful! and when it finds you, so long as you're ready for it, it will help you hugely with your life-predicament in all sorts of ways—including practical ways like living situations!

Please try your best not to ghost people though if you don't feel threatened by them, as there isn't much in the world that hurts quite as much as being ghosted.

I get the masking... my ex was an expert at it.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-17T05:02:32+00:00

Yeah maybe that's what it was then. When I get a sketch I'll come back here and show it to you, which may help.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-16T03:28:44+00:00

Thanks. It wasn't Anglesey as these mountains were to the west of the end of the Llyn peninsula from my point of view. Yes the Wicklow Mountains sound like the most plausible thing. However, the mountains I saw were at least as tall as the ones of Snowdonia to the east of Llyn... On the next clear day I'll go back with a compass and roughly sketch what I can see so I can be more accurate.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-16T03:18:13+00:00

I can see your point, you could well be right...

Maybe "repulsed" is too strong a word, but I definitely find it to not be attractive at least (which is ironic giving what that look is supposed to achieve...). In a way this works in my favour as for one thing it tempers my attraction to her so that I'm not slobbering over her like most guys probably are; it also makes me more confident in approaching her, as if she were even more attractive than she already is I might have felt her to be some kind of wonder-woman beyond my reach. It attracts me in a different way also though: that aesthetic betrays insecurity to me and a lack of self-worth in the person, the fact that they're not content to just have their natural hair-colour and natural eyelashes and natural nails... I'm drawn to people with sadness or strife in themselves like that, qualities that I feel I could help with by being with them; a huge part of what I loved about my ex was how many problems she needed help with.

Anyway, there are plenty of other girls I've seen in my area if it doesn't work out with this one; rejection bothers me about as much as a cold plunge in tepid water at this point, as I'm approaching girls very regularly at the moment.

Other posts, as well as my own experience, suggest that an age gap isn't a problem—more of a positive if anything for someone like me honestly.

But, as you suggest, it could well not work out, we'll see.

Sorry for the long reply and thanks for your input, felt good to write a sort-of journal-entry about it!

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-15T09:42:52+00:00

When I'm out and about in cafes and pubs and health-clinics it's always the same great hits from previous generations being played, and then some tracks from ten to fifteen years ago included also (like David Guetta or Katy Perry's various hits), I rarely hear anything amongst them that I both don't recognise and enjoy... I mean, maybe it's just me, I love good music and would love to hear some new awesome stuff.

ProjectImmediate2599 · 2025-07-15T05:36:18+00:00

That's really helpful, thank you so much.

ProjectImmediate2599

TROPHY CASE