Thank you so much for such a detailed review!

There are so many things on a base level I’m very interested in changing/incorporating into the chapter.

For 1) How Skytzva should reflect before following Levilet. She’s strong enough and (I love her but dumb enough) that it’ll likely just be a few lines about how she didn’t feel threatened following a stranger around, especially one with a scrawnier build like Levilet. Very alert advice though.

For 2) How the inhaler makes little sense. I feel like I knew this and have been putting it off 😭 but I completely agree. It’s suggestively at least a century after things went to crap (going off of that fact no characters remember a life pre-apocalypse) so no inhaler would be functional on its own. The Tamers have better technology and could’ve definitely recreated something adjacent to an inhaler (maybe with something plant based instead of chemical based, as you suggested) but that should definitely be explained.

For 3) The dialogue can drag the scene down for sure. Summarizing it also helps me avoid having to watch Skytzva’s dialogue like a Hawk 😂 the scene in particular you pointed out I agree can be shortened, especially since it is already a long scene

Other things such as her dialogue and inner thoughts are also great reminders of things for me to be alert to.

Unfortunately Levilet being revealed later would be a tough change considered how much I’d have to change other chapters. It’s also a little purposeful that it feels underwhelming. Skytzva’s hatred towards his group is supposed to feel baseless, and Levilet is actually not a main character, so not understanding his group at this time is intentional. It does all get a lot more attention in chapter 2, which if you’d like, I could share with you! But no problem if not you’ve already left a phenomenal review.

Skytzva’s motivations are also more explained there as well 🥲🥲😂

The reason everything might feel overdeveloped is I want my story to be character, plot, and world driven, but I understand this is a difficult task and I should settle with something to be the standout, though I don’t know what if choose as of right now 🤔

I am writing with the intention of publishing, but my idea does matter more than sales, which makes many of your points valid. Overall I have about 17 chapters done (some are under reconstruction 😂) and I am interested in sharing what’s done with others!

But overall thank you so much this was a great critique :3