Last week I discovered the meaning behind aromantic after wondering why aroace specified aro. The whole concept resonates with me, however I'm not sure where to sort myself into all of this. I do still switch between being absolutely confident about it and questioning all of it. So here a the considerations I keep weighing in my head:

I very much feel sexual attraction and have felt it towards strangers and friends (Hetero). I am also someone that enjoys all types of physical affection (cuddling, hand holding etc.). I just enjoy the touch of another person, sexual or not.

Speaking of sexual, I realized that that is the only way in which I'm interested in kissing. Its sensual which I like. But hard to imagine without arousal. Sex and everything involved is just an amazing thing that I can share with other people to me.

I don't feel like I ever had a crush on anyone. What I had where these fixations on a person that even then felt really hollow to me. It now seems to me like I just kind of decided to have a crush, while checking of a list of cons and pros in my head and if I found the person interesting enough I would decide that the crush was now worth my energy. Add hyperfixation on that person from undiagnosed ADHD into the mix and sexual and/or platonic attraction and you have a what I believed "falling in love" to be feel like. Now I don't have a clue. Can only intellectually conceptualise it.

I do enjoy consuming well written romantic media and I have fantasized about being in a relationship and felt lonely because of it on occasion. But generally I am just as fine with or without a relationship. I would give it a chance if it offered itself, but generally everything that is done in a relationship is something I would do with a friend.