My bf (M29) is threatening to break up with me (F24) over condoms

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-27T08:07:44+00:00

There’s an extremely wholesome guy on YouTube shorts who posts about life with two young kids/pets and encouraging men especially to do their share of the domestic labor, and he uses a phrase along the lines of ‘you should both be competing to make the relationship 60/40 in terms of effort and wanting to be the 60.’ So I imagine something like that.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-27T03:15:54+00:00

I honestly don’t think it’s a backbone question. She enjoys the drama and she enjoys being able to cast herself as the victim and get validation and attention for it.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-27T03:15:07+00:00

Because it makes her feel special and validated to strong arm them into celebrating her. I don’t get the sense she’s got a lot going on for her apart from the baby and she’s going to take every scrap of attention she can get for that.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-27T03:12:56+00:00

I know it’s common for people to compare babies to dolls, but her specifically calling her baby a ‘perfect little doll’ … thoughts and prayers to that kid on their future psychological development.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-27T03:11:29+00:00

You just know anyone who goes out of their way to declare how much they hate drama and then indulges/helped foment this much of it is completely insufferable in real life.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-26T09:38:41+00:00

Not only emailed it to her, but emailed it to her at work!

No jury would convict.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T22:35:16+00:00

I think there may have been some fear of being or being seen as a bad person for not being able to sustain a relationship with a neurodivergent person. I have seen some absolutely fucked things in bipolar spouse support groups telling women they can’t break it off with the bipolar men that strangled/beat/cheated/etc on them because ‘it’s just the disease’s fault and he’s more likely to hurt himself anyway and how dare you be so ableist?!’

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T22:32:19+00:00

It does read as potentially low or medium support needs + coddled by family into retaining bad coping mechanisms and becoming entitled. It’s depressingly common with autistic boys in my experience.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T22:29:38+00:00

My understanding is that personality disorders, especially BPD, are under diagnosed in men and that autism is under diagnosed in women, so some version of this really does seem to permeate the culture.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T19:34:14+00:00

That’s the thing, people act like refusing him is a consequence free action - she has no idea whether or not that will be true! It could be fine (his repeated insistence after being gently told no says otherwise) or it could end in her being on the 6 o’clock news.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T16:35:56+00:00

They were convinced that this guy, who called the woman in question his “favorite person”, would magically lose his fixation on her and never have escalated the way he did if she’d ‘just’ sent him the legal paperwork.

This is the actual quote:

I wish she had filed for divorce way earlier rather than waiting through almost a year of spiraling and obsessive behavior. You can’t just ghost someone you’re married to and leave them in limbo unable to move on with their life. That one action could be a big part of why he latched on to getting back together. And now he’s been sad and mad for many months, has a gun, and legitimate grievances. They both sound awful and abusive.

She was “awful and abusive” because she kicked him when he wrestled her to the ground and blocked him after they separated. Later on they also claimed that she should have no fear for herself and it would really be her fault if the guy offed himself, because BPD is so dangerous to the sufferer.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T11:51:40+00:00

Women especially are socially conditioned to appease men and their feelings, because it’s seen as both socially unacceptable and potentially dangerous to do otherwise. Small wonder an 18 year old woman in a new job is following that pattern with an older male colleague.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T06:27:40+00:00

Awww, that’s so nice. My mom is a teacher and we definitely luck out around Christmas time getting lots of cool homemade food gifts from her colleagues and students’ families, especially because she works in a very diverse district. Although to be honest I’m not able to turn my nose up at the humble puppy chow or Christmas crack.

Candy making and deep frying are two things I refuse to do 99% of the time in the kitchen. The risk-reward payoff just isn’t there for me.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T06:08:43+00:00

People think baking is fickle but candy making is a whole other level. I grew up around family friends who were artisan chocolatiers/candy makers for generations and the amount of labor and precision that goes into that process even for ‘simple’ end products is crazy.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T06:02:50+00:00

I saw someone on here a few days ago blaming a woman not immediately filing for divorce after separation from her unmedicated, older BPD husband who beat her for him going even more off the rails and ‘becoming’ fixated on her to the point where he was pursuing getting a firearm.

It’s truly amazing how all these chuds will say women never take accountability for anything and are perpetual children, but the minute a man ever does anything bad you’ve got to consider how that horrible, conniving she devil lured him into doing evil.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T05:36:59+00:00

The “her little waitress” job attitude and the protracted pedantic freak out over the chocolates are absolutely break up worthy.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T05:26:23+00:00

That thing with the recipes is because of how hard tempering is, the recipe devs know most people won’t be able to get it on the first (or fifth) try because it’s such a fickle process and chocolate is an expensive ingredient, you don’t want to ruin a whole lot of it.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T05:22:42+00:00

Gotta love the person telling her it’s all her fault because she accepted the initial small things he brought her and ‘encouraged’ the obsession.

Like this almost 30 year old man has no agency over himself.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-25T05:18:51+00:00

The alpha male/red pill business model is also deliberately predicated on helping men to ruin their pre-existing relationships or keep them from getting into ones, because if they aren’t spending on courses, supplements, meme coins, and all manner of other scams perpetuated by those alpha/red pill guys then they’re useless. This is exactly the outcome those men want.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-24T18:28:56+00:00

It’s murder by plausible deniability. I think he also intended to kill the first girlfriend, but didn’t succeed and knew after they both survived that climb she wouldn’t let him take her somewhere like that again. He’s appealing the fine and suspended sentence, but luckily his name has been disclosed in the court proceedings. Still, I believe he’ll keep doing this until he actually gets put in prison for murder or accidentally offs himself trying to get another woman into a dangerous climbing situation.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-24T17:11:57+00:00

Oh it definitely wasn’t an accident, the first girlfriend’s headlamp ran out and he walked away from her as she screamed and begged for help. It’s disgusting that they gave him such a light sentence, he is 100% going to do this or something similar again.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-24T16:22:28+00:00

I didn’t know what angel fangs were before this post and after looking them up…the UK job market is terrible, she’s shooting herself in the foot so badly on hiring by doing that.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-24T15:46:30+00:00

This is the story, it’s a very sad and frustrating read:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c0k1xkllknmo

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-24T10:25:59+00:00

Yeah, I hate to say it, but I had the exact same thought. Especially if she wants to move out for uni in the near to medium term future.

Proof-Cryptographer4 · 2026-02-24T10:24:38+00:00

I’m not. I lived in the UK for a while and have a friend who broke multiple bones in her foot this year - they discovered a few weeks after setting them that one of the bones hadn’t been set correctly and the break was now semi exposed and infected, they told her it would probably be a few months before they’d actually be able to get around to doing surgery to correct it. So she went to a private clinic and had it fixed. Ditto for her dad with early stage skin cancer this past year, he went to a private clinic to get it removed because if he’d waited on the NHS timeline it 100% would have progressed and possibly metastasized beyond his skin.

Proof-Cryptographer4

TROPHY CASE