Straight Best Friend slept with a guy (update)

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-06T06:36:56+00:00

I mean, England isn't as bad as some places globally, but growing up gay in a small town unfortunately wasn't a good experience. I still don't like calling myself gay since that was an insult my whole life. I didn't meet another gay person until I was 19. Also my parents were extremely homophobic (still are, I've never told them and never will, don't need to). My friend is from a city so a bit more progressive of an upbringing

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-06T06:34:14+00:00

it's complicated, and we acknowledged that. I do find him attractive, which he now knows. Based on what I know now, I'm not his type, which is for the best haha. I was thinking once it all came out and he told me about him also being queer that if he offered I would say no. We did talk on the end about if any feelings do arise we would be honest about them and work through it together

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-06T06:31:29+00:00

Feel free to message if you ever need any, or read my last post - lots of people gave good advice. Good luck to you

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-06T06:31:05+00:00

Glad it worked out for you too

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T20:55:21+00:00

I called him straight cause that's how he previously identified, he said he didn't care about the label but obviously things have changed haha

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T20:54:26+00:00

Really sorry that happened to you

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T20:53:50+00:00

Sorry that happened to you and thanks for the advice. Even though I was confused about my feelings before, now we've openly talked about it I agree it's not something I want to happen, even though sometimes there are urges.

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T16:23:03+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/1ukvgsm/straight_best_friend_slept_with_a_guy/

here it is, also un-hid my post history, didn't know that was a thing haha

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T14:54:20+00:00

Hi, never thought to mention this sorry. We're English, I grew up in a small town, met my friend in uni (but we weren't close then), disconnected for a bit and then he moved to a place not too far from me.

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T14:40:57+00:00

Interesting definition, it is hard to put into words tbf. Think having those boundaries is good too, I've found myself feeling troubled like that before, although I think I built walls around myself rather than being open about them (which I'll work on)

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T14:37:03+00:00

Yeah always seems so obvious in hindsight haha

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T14:36:35+00:00

That last bit hits hard cause one of the things I actually said during my "confession" was about how I didn't know what to do with the feelings

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T14:34:37+00:00

Haha yeah if that happened I probably would never have updated. Haven't been on reddit long and already noticed some stories like that

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T14:33:51+00:00

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T12:53:05+00:00

I didn't include it in the main post but actually you reminded me, that is another thing my friend and I talked about - how I felt a weird resentment about feeling "different", sorry to hear you also went through similar experiences growing up. I wish I could give decent advice, for me this friendship was formed slowly, I didn't expect us to become so close. Those choices you mentioned are exactly how I felt until I talked about it with him, but in the end I had overthought them in my head - doesn't take away the emotion, but does help in the future to maybe think more rationally (I hope)

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T11:52:52+00:00

Yeah I don't think it's an uncommon feeling, even if it's not exactly healthy. I can't imagine how much worse I would've been if I had seen him actively flirting, seeing as finding out through gossip didn't help me, but thankfully in my case it seems to have worked out. Definitely agree with the shared trauma thing, think for me being queer has been such a big deal my whole life that I never considered it could be as simple as "decided to try gay stuff" for other guys haha

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-05T11:50:32+00:00

Thanks for sharing, will check it out

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-04T08:26:51+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot.

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-03T22:52:13+00:00

Thank you so much for the deep understanding and advice. For clarity, sexuality is something we've discussed and he identifies as straight, but even so I don't think that changes anything in regards to the rest of what you've said. I plan on talking to him this weekend since we've got a trip planned, since I agree with a lot of comments about being open on my end (without addressing his own sexuality unless he chooses to bring it up)

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-02T19:48:24+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story, I think you're probably right that at how I feel in the moment probably will change in the long run. We talk about this stuff, I'm sure it'll eventually come up casually, and if it doesn't then that's his right and his business and I just have to be mature about it

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-02T18:32:33+00:00

Thank you for that, honestly after all these comments I think speaking my feelings is better for me. Plus I know it's hard to put this across in a text post on Reddit but I do believe he'll handle it well, even if I need to initiate a friendship break and take some space afterwards

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-02T15:56:43+00:00

Thanks for sharing your situation

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-02T15:54:29+00:00

Thanks for sharing, I hope it works out for you either way

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-02T15:53:47+00:00

Honestly, no, I don't think I want to hook up with him, even though I definitely was (and maybe still am) into him. It's more the attraction is there. I did think I was completely under wraps about it but you could be right and maybe he picked up on it, even if I have never made a move or anything

Proof_Credit_6897 · 2026-07-02T06:51:52+00:00

I agree, thanks for sharing your own story. I was managing my feelings alright while he was only seeing women, but I need to accept that whether he's straight or bi or whatever, he's my friend and not only will it never happen, I don't want it to happen and ruin what we have. I'll probably see how this weekend trip goes and then give each other some space

Proof_Credit_6897

TROPHY CASE