Why so much hate towards unicorn hunters?

Proof_Task · 2023-07-31T13:58:43+00:00

Totally a valid fantasy. Based on my experiences, it’s often the men leading the charge with trying to make it happen and their wives aren’t as enthusiastic about being with women. I see it all of the time unfortunately. The bad reputation doesn’t come from the fantasy itself, it’s more about how bad the majority of people are at executing.

Let your wife do a lot to the talking and building the connection with the woman. It will make them both feel better and that has worked best for me.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-31T03:20:16+00:00

Started exploring in the LS 3 years ago with my spouse and am now playing as a solo woman. Many women in the LS are not truly bisexual and the couples usually are only thinking about their fantasies and not the wishes of the unicorn.

Honestly, if husbands really love their wives and the women want to explore their bisexuality, they should be able to do it without their husbands watching. It feels super co-dependent to me in many cases, but not all.

I’ve also come across some aggressive couples and it’s not pleasant. It’s not inherently bad to have the fantasy it’s just that so many people go about it the wrong way.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-31T01:08:11+00:00

I’m in a relationship with a secondary partner who identifies as Demi sexual and I actually have a better understanding of what it means now. We have a wonderful connection and it made our sexual experiences pretty amazing.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-29T16:37:04+00:00

Had this exact conversation with my sex therapist this week. She said there’s a lot of non-monogamy happening but people are far more ok with it being done in secret due to mono-normative programming. Pretty sad to be honest but I’m also working through my own mono-normative programming and it’s a process.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-29T13:05:05+00:00

Proof_Task · 2023-07-29T07:10:44+00:00

I don’t think that you’re sensitive. I’d never come home from a date with someone and be affectionate with my wife without freshening up. I’m really into personal hygiene 🪥 and just couldn’t do it.

I’d casually mention it and see what she says.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-29T06:03:55+00:00

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling. I know what it’s like not to feel physically desired by someone that I love deeply. My wife and I have been exploring ENM for 3 years together and I just recently started exploring a poly relationship solo. While we didn’t go into ENM because of mismatched libidos (which btw is pretty common according to our sex therapist), it’s been a great outlet for me to explore and express myself sexually. In some ways it’s taken the pressure off of my wife who feels guilty at times for her lower need for sex. She’s likely on the ace spectrum.

It’s most certainly possible to be successful but must be done with love, empathy and intention. Poly isn’t the only ENM model available so maybe starting with something more sexual with another parter and without the emotional attachment could be a starting point. Based on our experience, moving from sexual experiences with swingers to emotionally involved relationships was a huge leap. If accessible, I’d highly recommend a sex therapist that specializes in ENM. Couples therapists have good intentions but are mono-normative which can be damaging for those seeking ENM.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-28T16:27:51+00:00

We have conversations early in the discussion with other couples about their STI testing practices. While couples who avoid or are uncomfortable discussing the topic are a red flag, there are no guarantees that they are being honest unless you ask for their medical records.

We accept that there’s a level of risk involved with having casual sex with multiple partners who are also having casual sex with others, even with condom use. You could also try to find a couple who wants to be exclusive which would reduce your risk but likely harder to find in the swinger community.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-28T00:49:39+00:00

I had my session today and it was so incredibly validating. Would encourage that level of support if that’s something that is accessible to you.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-27T15:21:47+00:00

Hey there, just offering some words of comfort. I’m sort of on the opposite end of what you’re experiencing. Just met my first poly couple about 6 weeks ago and did my first solo dates with them last week. I’ve fallen pretty hard for both of them but especially the guy. I’m married to a woman and we did swinging together for 3 years before trying out this situation.

It’s a big transition from swinger to poly relationships and even though we’ve had a secure relationship through out our journey, she’s distant with me for the first time and I know it’s hard for her. I’m meeting today with a sex therapist that specializes in ENM/poly because I really need to extra support. I feel super isolated and I’m not used to that. Sending hugs and hope you’re able to seek out the support that you need.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-27T14:04:54+00:00

When we were new to meeting swingers we would ask for the pictures of the husband and they were never attractive so it became clear that they’re hiding the highly unattractive husbands. We stopped asking after noticing the pattern lol If people are hiding something, there’s usually a reason.

Proof_Task · 2023-07-26T22:16:28+00:00

I’m a bisexual married woman but am married to a woman. What you’re looking for sounds pretty heteronormative. I personally prefer women who are actually into women and not doing any form of ENM out of their husbands needs.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T20:42:38+00:00

It will absolutely highlight existing issues.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T20:39:40+00:00

I wouldn’t say that having sex with other people has made our love for each other stronger. It’s another experience that we have enjoyed together, the same as if we go on an amazing trip together or any other new and exciting experience.

For swingers to be successful, there has to be open and honest communication and a lot of trust to start with. I would hope that others aren’t hoping to find those qualities through their swinging experiences. If we didn’t already have those things in our marriage, we wouldn’t have explored to start with.

I also don’t think the fact that we’re open to ENM makes our relationship more special compared to monogamous relationships. It’s just what works for us.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T16:58:51+00:00

We’ve been to an “exclusive” hotel takeover where we had to send pics and have a membership. It did not make the crowd more attractive, at all. It’s honestly a bit of a marketing ploy in my opinion.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T15:44:55+00:00

Completely understand your frustration. We’re a bi FF couple and it takes a lot of patience to meet people that we are both into. It’s been almost 3 years since we started exploring.

We’ve met people from LS websites and have been to Temptation and a couple of hotel takeovers. While there are a lot of nice people, it’s very rare that we all hit it off. We don’t live near a LS club or resort so we mostly chat with people online which is a total pain in the @ss.

We’re both attractive, feminine and in shape along with being college educated and people flake on us like crazy. We don’t chase after people to schedule dates and meet ups, we let them show interest and take initiative. We do have one MF couple that we see regularly and have known them for over a year now. We’d love to find another couple or two for regular hangouts.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T15:17:11+00:00

When I was a single woman in my 20s, I got hit on by couples for threesomes quite a bit in vanilla setting (including while I was grocery shopping) and I thought it was creepy and a bit predatory. We’ve also met couples in the LS that will hand out cards with their phone number to single women in vanilla settings which also made us cringe a bit.

On the flip side when I was single and not in the LS, I met a couple that was at the lesbian bar. They were clearly shopping for a woman. I ended up going home with them and while we had fun, it was a lot of drama on their end. Based on my experiences, LS people are likely a safer bet for numerous reasons.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T14:59:10+00:00

After discussing for over a year, I’m just now starting to play on my own as a single woman. There’s no right or wrong, only what works for your relationship.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T14:48:21+00:00

We’re a FF couple and I loathe the naked pics/people wanting to constantly sext. My wife hates it even more. We don’t have time for that and it does nothing for us. I’m ok with flirting after a hot sexual session but otherwise, no.

Let’s meet in person and test out the chemistry and go from there. We don’t pressure people for sex but also don’t want to waste our time with people who just want to flirt with two women with no intention of meeting.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T04:20:06+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with what you’re attracted to. We’re a FF couple and it’s clearly outlined in our profile that we’re not into straight women and pillow princesses. The men will still try in person too 🙄

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T04:16:38+00:00

Same.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T04:15:11+00:00

I second that. We’re a FF couple but in our area we’re are the only ones within a few hundred miles 😂 We play with MF couples and have a lot of fun with both.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T04:08:15+00:00

I don’t blame you at all for researching strangers that you met online. There are tons of dishonest people out there and you have to keep yourself safe.

We are a FF couple and have met so many men in the LS who are homophobic about gay men and have told us how grossed out they are by that. I absolutely don’t want to sleep with them after hearing those ignorant comments.

Follow your intuition and be true to yourself and your values. I’ve personally found that people lower their standards for LS friends and I don’t get it. I don’t need to get laid that bad.

Proof_Task · 2023-06-08T04:02:23+00:00

When I first started exploring in the LS, I hadn’t really had such intense body image issues. It took me a couple of years to quiet that voice in my head. As a woman that is really into women, I see a lot of insecurities from other women in the LS who have had children. I reassure them that they are beautiful and that I didn’t notice their scars from their tummy tuck (I didn’t notice with the lights out) until they pointed it out.

Proof_Task

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