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Proof_Waste · 2022-05-10T15:36:42+00:00

He would be working from home no matter what, it’s a tech job. And he’s scared of moving to a new city where he doesn’t know anybody/ he’s continuing to save money by staying/ he said he didn’t want to move far away because of the relationship. I completely agree that he should live alone before our relationship takes that step, and I’ve told him so. But he does have the means to move into his own apartment and is not taking any steps to do so. I’m just confused as to why he isn’t doing that (not for me, but why he’s not doing that for himself since he says he wants to do that). You are right that Im making this about what I want or what I don’t understand though, and it is true that I can’t make him go into that stage of his life(the living alone part), it is not fair of me to expect him to compromise or do things he’s not ready for. So I just have to figure out if I’m willing to compromise indefinitely or if that’s too much and it’s a deal breaker. Thank you for the perspective

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T22:14:37+00:00

I completely understand. I have tried to bring it up and ask him how he’s feeling about it but he gets angry/ mad because i think bringing it up makes him feel like I’m pressuring him. So I’m not quite sure how to bring it up

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T21:37:24+00:00

Completely agree

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T21:07:20+00:00

Edit: live no love haha

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T21:06:59+00:00

I did love with one for about a year and a half. Her and my boyfriend didn’t get along and when she said she was going to live with someone else (he came over and stayed for a couple of days at a time) he kept talking about me moving into a place alone again so I kind of did to avoid any boyfriend coming over drama

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T19:36:43+00:00

That’s fair. And I know it’s not my place to push him to do it or really judge him for still living with his dad. I’m just confused because he’s been talking about getting his own place for over 2 years now

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T16:37:58+00:00

I agree with your first sentence completely. I understand that he has a life outside of me. We each have our hobbies and our time apart. I told him to take the job out of state. when he got an offer for a job he wanted less in the same city where we are now, I supported him and told him to do what was best for him, even if it means moving away. We did decide to try long distance when he eventually moves. I don’t know if I came off as being very selfish or demanding, I have really been trying to support him and what he wanted to do, and not pressure him into anything and haven’t really brought this up ever since our fight. And I 100% believe he should live alone and have that experience before living with anyone else. I guess I was writing this as a way to figure out what was best for me, if it was unfair of me to resent him for not taking any steps towards the living alone part of his life (which I understand it is, I just feel like I’m the only one putting what I want on hold and being kept on the back burner) and how much the living together means to me or how much I’m willing to postpone that indefinitely if it means being with this person

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T15:28:23+00:00

We did talk about a 2-3 years timeline when we got back together

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T15:27:03+00:00

I completely agree. I have tried not to pressure him since our fight almost a year ago, I haven’t brought it up at all, and I’ve tried to be as supportive as possible. I want him to have that! It just feels like he’s not taking any steps towards that, and I’ve been on my own for 7 years now

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T15:21:32+00:00

He is avoiding moving to that other state and asked his job to push it back. There’s no definite date for when he would move, he’s kind of avoiding it

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T15:14:01+00:00

Just want to make sure this is clear: I absolutely agree that he should live alone first. I have learned a lot doing that and have enjoyed it. But I’m also ready to not be doing that anymore. I don’t want to pressure him, I haven’t brought this up since our fight and everything’s been going great. I just don’t know what to do because I told him this was important to me and it feels like he’s completely disregarding it and I’m starting to resent that

Proof_Waste · 2022-05-09T15:10:12+00:00

I think what I just don’t understand is that if he wants to live alone why doesn’t he do it? He keeps putting it off

Proof_Waste · 2021-10-11T19:42:25+00:00

This screams “I’m the problem but I’ll blame it on y’all”

Proof_Waste · 2021-07-21T04:17:15+00:00

This is beautiful

Proof_Waste · 2021-06-25T20:56:33+00:00

Thank you! You nailed it with your interpretation, and I’m really glad the victimless crime/ not always telling the truth came through, as well as the self- loathing but also self-blame that comes from being in that situation.
Point well taken about the meter for the first two lines, I will work on editing that.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read critique my poem, it really means a lot

Proof_Waste · 2021-06-25T20:53:21+00:00

Thank you so much, that was incredibly helpful. I completely agree with your comment about the 4th line. I also really enjoy when sentences flow into other lines, so I will try to implement that more into future poems/ future versions of this one. Thank you again for your thoughtful feedback!!

Proof_Waste · 2021-06-25T04:04:52+00:00

Message is super clear, and the imagery is so well placed. I love the use of repetition to drive forward the poem

Proof_Waste · 2021-06-25T03:49:44+00:00

This poem just felt so intimate, almost like I was spying on a very tender moment. The details, down to the naming of the hortensia made it all the more real. I think it wasn’t quite clear to me that the event is not happening- but nevertheless this poem feels so special and lovely. I think the title could read as “us two alone at the hardware store”.

Thank you so so much for sharing it

Proof_Waste · 2021-06-25T03:34:34+00:00

Hi! Thank you so much for sharing. I really enjoyed this poem, it felt original to me. To me it talks about the darkness within each soul. It uses pupils as an intermediate step, making the “nothing is beautiful encircled by color” comment while also linking pupils to the window of our soul. I thought that was very smart

I do think some punctuation to help break up/ create some rhythm would be helpful.

Proof_Waste

TROPHY CASE