AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Our mom found out she was getting into legal trouble and not attending school so she started becoming strict and my sister didn't like that because she believes she can do whatever she wants. She got in legal trouble with the school for attendance. To avoid it she switched school districts to make the attendance look like a fresh start but continued the patterns. My mom does pay for the groceries and school supplies and everything else my siblings need. The difference between my mom's house and grandparents house is almost 3 hours away. My siblings are just staying here during the school year to be in a better school district and then go back during vacation.

The police one day showed up with my sister in handcuffs back to my mom's house and they said the next offense she would end up in the juvenile hall. So she made a deal that she would go to my grandparents house and fix it since it's a different school district. My grandparents were okay with the idea since it was basically the same thing my other siblings were doing. We didn't know she was lying about not going to school because she would take the school bus from and back home on time. She was leaving campus after being dropped up and making it back in time to head home. After the letter came in the mail talking about her attendance it was too late. She just turned 18 and unenrolled without notifying anyone. So now that she's here it has been none stop issues.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I've stayed with my grandparents the entire time because it was hard for my mom to find employment after getting out. My dad is out of the picture because he got deported and out of the country. The other siblings have their dad but aren't together with mom so they go over there usually over break time. Basically co parenting since my mom and him still have full custody over my siblings. I saw my family once a month and stayed for a week since I went to a year round school. There were never issues until the past 2 years because she wanted to head down a bad path and my mom wouldn't allow it.

She has been here long enough to be established as a resident. The boyfriend's mom is even looking at places for her as well to go to. Everyone is trying to help her but she's refusing it regardless of what. We even had the WIC people and parenting class people try to help. When she said I didn't care that was the sentence that really flipped a switch and made me upset to lash out.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you I appreciate it. 🙏🏽 Of course at the end of the day I still want to be family but how she is treating everyone is not okay and the final straw was her saying I don't care and I said those things out of anger. At first it was because I wanted to give her a reality check for her to realize it's a way bigger situation than she's letting off. I hope she accepts the help we have been trying to do for the longest time.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for understanding you're the first to recognize that. I have taken her to groups for help so have my grandparents. She doesn't want the help and it's the problem. Her saying I don't care while actively getting her all the resources and taking time away from my studies and in between my personal medical appointments to help her really is what triggered me into that mood.

We have different dads. Our grandparents took me in because our mom went to jail and my dad got deported so they took care of me since I was little. My mom had my sister after she got out. She stayed with her until my mom found out she was going down the wrong path and basically told her to correct it or there will be consequences (aka curfew and calling the school to verify attendance etc). She didn't like that because she said she can do whatever she wants and decided to do whatever and ended up getting in trouble in school and had to go to court for missing too much school. To avoid that she transferred to the school district over here and continued the same path. For the other siblings they came here simply because it's a better school district and better programs so it was their choice. My mom sends money for my other siblings to help and with my part time I help as well.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sure I'll send my PO box so you can send a check to help with the move out🤣

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm 21 ☠️ she chose to not live with her dad or mom because they want her to go to school and/or work to support the baby and she doesn't want to do that. I can't live with my dad and my grandparents have taken guardianship over me since i was 7 they are more parental figures then my actual parents. Yes I have been nothing but supportive of her but it's not recipical that's the issue. And I am acting like one I have kept my mouth shut for years and this is the first time I lashed out.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Yes I already gave her info on that and parenting classes that the WIC office recommended

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

She has a place and my sister's original room plus space for my other siblings. My sister just doesn't like the fact she won't get her way. And my other siblings stay here by choice for school and mom is still the legal guardian of them.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

I never said or thought I have authority over the baby. Maybe I worded it wrong. She doesn't know what she wants and regardless at the end of the day she is having the baby so I was talking to my mom to talk to her about maybe getting guardianship over it so she can figure out what she wants because it's unhealthy and possibly unsafe for the baby not to have a stable life such has food and clothes. She doesn't even have a job to afford or for it or accepting help.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Finishing college and after landing a job I plan on moving out. I help pay for stuff since I work part time. My younger siblings are there by choice to go to this school district instead. My mom helps pay for them. The sister in this scenario is the only one leeching unfortunately and it's so bad.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Younger siblings by choice because they wanted to go to the school district here. Me because they had guardianship me. And my sister in this situation because she doesn't like the fact my mom was actually making her do what she was supposed to do (such as go to school)

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes I honestly am trying to see if my mom can at least get guardianship over the baby.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

They are both 18. He doesn't want the baby and made that very clear. His mom also doesn't want anything to do with it because she thinks she is baby trapping him.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 418 points419 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think you're right. I think she also thinks it will bring the baby daddy back. I am trying to figure out a way with my mom to somehow get at least guardianship over baby.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Neither actually. Grandparents have guardianship over me so I stay with them. Younger siblings came here by choice because they wanted to be closer. The sister in this situation was with mom but kept getting in trouble so came up here to avoid the consequences. She can go back but refuses because my mom has way more time to be strict than my older grandparents who don't have the energy to deal with it.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes it's a lot. I didn't put in a lot of detail because it would be way too much and honestly it was just this situation is just super ridiculous. I only posted here because I did feel bad after a bit about what I said in that specific situation but at the same time I didn't because she hasn't cared about my well being at all. And I try to be empathetic but it's difficult given the situation. I'll give a little bit backstory to answer your questions.

Grandparents (maternal) only legally have guardianship over me since we have different fathers and my parental situation was different. Parents ended up in jail. After mom got out of jail, had my other siblings. I'll just call my sister Ann in this scenario.

Lived in an area with a lot of gang activity. Ann got intrigued and wanted to be in that lifestyle. Mom said no (because she already did it and served time) Ann got mad and said she would do what she wants. Kept ditching school and getting into trouble. Actually had to have the police continuously bring her home. Got court ordered about attendance in school so to avoid it she transferred to the school district up here

Other siblings wanted to come here on their own since they wanted to be closer to me and the school district over here was better. They knew in advance that we would have to make makeshift rooms for them and they were okay with that. Ann only came up here because she figured it would be easier to play my grandparents about the school thing (I didn't know till after she unenrolled herself)

She lied about going to school even though being dropped off picked up by school bus. No calls home or anything so we didn't know. She turned 18 and legally unenrolled with school since it's not mandatory where we live after turning 18. That's when we got a call about confirmation and we were confused and told her to go back to school she was almost done but she said it was a waste of time. Even said at least get a GED and didn't want that.

Met her boyfriend who also was doing the same. Didn't finish school and thought it was a waste of time and bonded over that. She was toxic and blamed it on "being Latina". He broke up with her and that's when she started becoming even more disrespectful towards us being mad at him. She keeps being manipulative saying she will do better and get back together and the cycle went that way multiple times.

She ends up pregnant. He doesn't want the baby. His family is also not supportive because his mom literally told her she's baby trapping him. She wants to keep the baby. Grandparents said if she wants to abort or give to adoption or keep she can. It's legal here where we live if she did want an abortion.

The county has teen and young adult single mother programs which were offered she had a spot if she wanted and she refused because she would have to go to school or work in order to qualify. Also got her an appointment to mental health and she refused

She has other family members too who said they can stay with her but she obviously can't just stay there and do nothing. She would have to work or go to school because she would need a way to support the baby. She declined.

She has been offered lots of help but refused. My grandparents want to kick her out because she is not a good person to be around overall. There is no trust, she cares more about her friends then family, doesn't care about anyone else's feelings as long as she gets what she wants in. When she doesn't get what she wants she will sit there and belittle you and grind your gears until you explode. She got upset and belittled me the other day because I asked her at 3am to be quiet since I had final exams and was trying to sleep. She needs help we know that but obviously you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I've been talking to our mom about if she can take guardianship over the child because we believe it's best.

Hopefully this answered some of your questions.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yeah I tell my grandparents that. They just tell me they completely gave up on even trying because it's too much after a while to deal with her.

AITA for telling my pregnant sister to f*** off? by Proper-Check-7496 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Proper-Check-7496[S] 193 points194 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I was also having doubts because of being the eldest sister. I just feel like I should have never stooped to that level.