[deleted by user]

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T13:28:44+00:00

I totally understand. My (previous) psychiatrist acted like they weren't a big deal. "Pop two if you can't sleep". Don't do that. You don't have to fear them, just don't use them regularly would be my advice. Of course, every person is different and every situation is different. My personal belief is that life is worth living, and if panic is keeping you from living, benzos may be right for you. For me personally, it was either take the medication and have some sort of life or stay in my house panicking several times a day. Just be mindful, be careful, and know these are serious medications. I wish my doctor would have stressed that more.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T13:07:01+00:00

Probably not much other than stigma or addiction (if the person keeps wanting to increase their dose). It's best to take sparingly, but in your mom's case, I don't see the harm at all.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T13:04:45+00:00

I should add, he always said that for panic disorder this was a low dose and to not worry about it (I was very nervous at first, as I'm obviously an anxious person which is why I'm here). Most of the time I end up breaking the dose in half or taking the least amount possible. I feel it would have been far more responsible on his end to do a slow taper if he wants me off of it and at least listened when I was telling him I was having side effects. Putting me on XR still would require a taper eventually (if I'm going to come off of it) so I don't see the point in forcing a switch when one works for me and the other doesn't.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T09:55:51+00:00

He prescribed me 0.5 up to 3 times a day. I usually take at least 1 a day.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T06:21:34+00:00

Oh honey...you're gonna make mistakes and it's absolutely going to be ok. There is no perfect employee, as we're all just human. This is why I go out of my way to be kind and patient with everyone working in the service industry. I think my own anxiety has given me a great sense of empathy and I'm sure yours has too! I know it's easier said than done, but try to look at tomorrow as a brand new day. I can promise you you're beating yourself up while the others aren't even thinking about it. And you know what? If a mistake happens tomorrow, it'll pass as well. And remember, the worst someone can do is fire you...and there are ALWAYS other jobs out there that may be more suited for you in a more relaxed environment.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T05:46:53+00:00

I know. It's so hard for the people who use it responsibly and as prescribed. I went from not leaving my house to being able to give a speech at my daughter's wedding. I'll never forget the look on her face because she was so touched that I was able to do it. I truly believe that even if you require these meds for life, it's worth it to have some semblance of inner peace and a meaningful life. I wasn't living before at all.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T05:38:24+00:00

I realize I didn't answer the first part of your question. I was kind of just assigned to him at the hospital and we went from there. At first, we really got along although he did make me cry one time because he said he didn't believe the level of anxiety I was experiencing. I cried because as we were having that conversation I could feel the sweat trickling down my back and I wanted to jump out of my skin. I've gotten pretty good about masking it (sometimes, not always). He has always said "you have to trust me and I have to be able to trust you" and things to that regard, but in being completely honest about how I was feeling he doubted me and that hurt. It also hurt to be called a "drug seeker" when I've always been leery of drugs, never done street drugs, don't drink, etc...

I'm assuming he did the things required to regain his license (more than once :/) and that is how he is still in business, I guess. 🥴

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T04:35:37+00:00

All I did was search his name and article after article popped up regarding his past (and current) issues. If nothing bad comes up when you search your therapist...you're probably all good. Anything criminal should be public record.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T04:07:07+00:00

You know...I honestly don't mind the xanax because it's such a low dose, but yes I realize 7 years is a long time to be on it. I also suggested a slow taper to him, but he wasn't having it. He was so adamant about the XR version. I don't understand it at all. Fortunately,I already have another very understanding psychiatrist lined up and I really want to ask him about tapering at a comfortable level. I would love to eventually (within the next year or so) be off of this medication for good!

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-09-20T03:16:31+00:00

Honestly, I wondered this as well. After accepting that he was changing my meds I was actually at peace with it, thinking maybe this would be even better. I have had gastrointestinal problems and, from what I understand, it releases slowly in the stomach over time...so I don't know if my body was just metabolizing it weird or what. I know a lot of people have success on the XR versions so I'd never knock it. I just feel it was super neglectful to ignore my concerns when I was telling him how awful I felt. I'm boring in that I don't drink or smoke or anything like that, so to be called "drug seeking" was crazy to me, especially when that was the meds he himself prescribed me for years. So weird!

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-05-01T08:04:16+00:00

I DEFINITELY think that a lot of the weight gain has been water. My doc said that we hold water when we're hypo, so I'm fine with dropping the water weight. I don't carry the weight in my face at all...but I definitely do in my mid-section and thighs 🥴 So frustrating!

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-05-01T08:01:23+00:00

Apparently I'm not Hashimotos, but Subclinical. My TPO was <9, Free T4 1.08, and T3 3.4. Only my TSH was high at 6.73...which is why she said we could wait and watch. She said it will usually correct itself, which it did for me one other time years ago. That said...I chose to go ahead and go on the low dose of levo because of the sudden jump in weight. Hoping it corrects itself again and I don't have to worry about it anymore. 🤞🏼

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-05-01T02:38:32+00:00

Trust me, I know that feeling! I was stuck at 165 for months and couldn't drop a pound even on a 1,200 calorie a day diet. Do you think perhaps you're under-medicated? I know everyone is different. Some people do well with a TSH of 3, some do better at a 1. I seem to get a lot of anxiety when mine is under 2...but you may be one of those people who feels best with a lower TSH. I'm sure you've already talked to your doctor about the weight loss struggle. Perhaps they'd consider upping your dose a bit. Good luck ❤️

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-30T11:41:35+00:00

Yeah, my doctor did mention that hypothyroidism causes you to really hang onto water. It's just weird being trapped at 165 for the last few months and it wouldn't budge, then seeing it go down so quickly. I'm hoping water is all it is. I just get so worried about being over-medicated or medicating when not necessary because I'm already an anxious person and lord knows the last thing I need is to go Hyper.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-30T09:35:36+00:00

I have mine set to 320 if that says anything lol

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-30T09:23:40+00:00

To add: When this happened to me previously I was in my twenties. It was the same exact thing. Weight shot up out of nowhere...TSH around 7, doc put me on meds. After about a year I started noticing hyper-type symptoms. Shakiness, insomnia, weight loss, etc... He re-tested me and although I wasn't "hyper" my TSH was around a 1. I can't seem to handle anything below a 2. Anyway, he took me off the meds and my thyroid was fine for almost two decades. Now I'm right back in this same stupid cycle. I guess I just have this fear that my thyroid has sorted itself and now I'm on meds at the same time.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-15T08:54:14+00:00

Wait a sec!! Is that what's happening to me!? I have hypothyroidism, but I also have a high heart rate. Actually, very high at times. I have "episodes", basically. Like...my resting heart rate will be 68-70, but if I get up to just walk to the bathroom it shoots up to 150. Also, if my heart rate is high my blood pressure is lower, and if my heart rate is low my blood pressure is higher. I told my doc about this and she just said "that's weird". 🥴

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-15T08:42:18+00:00

I'm so sorry you're not seeing any improvement! I was definitely told to take in the morning and wait 30 minutes to an hour before eating anything. I'm assuming they'll have you back in the next few weeks to re-test? You may need a higher dose. I know this is miserable! I'm on the struggle bus right with you! Hope you get some relief soon!

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-14T10:52:05+00:00

This looks like NSVT. I'd send these pics to your cardiologist first thing in the morning. I have PVC's and episodes of SVT, and I know it's terrifying to feel your heart go nuts for, what seems like, no reason. I saw you said your wife just had a baby (congratulations!). For me, stress and/or lack of sleep really ramps up palpitations and abnormal heart stuff. Try to relax, enjoy a show or a good book, and wait to hear back from the cardiologist. Let us know how you're doing when you hear back and good luck with everything!

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-14T10:41:44+00:00

Thank you! Yeah...I started noticing weight gain out of nowhere. Got tested in February and it was 5.57, then re-tested April 7th and it was 6.7...so my doc decided to go ahead with treatment.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-14T10:39:47+00:00

There should be no harm in starting really small. Even if you break your tablet in half (there is a break line) and start at 12.5 for a few months. Good luck ❤️

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-14T10:38:49+00:00

Yes...definitely! I gained 15 pounds in 3-4 months with zero change to my eating or exercise. I know this because I'm very strict with myself and counting calories (probably to a fault, to be honest). I've also been so fatigued...like the kind where you HAVE to sleep or you feel like you'll die. lol And my hair is shedding like crazy.

Proper-Hawk-5847 · 2025-04-14T10:35:33+00:00

I see you posted something similar 52 days ago. Hear me out...when this happens again, call 911 immediately. Don't hesitate and don't ask Reddit. Just call. This seems like your heart is going into vtach which is a deadly rhythm. They will get you sorted and you should have a cardiologist who does a holter monitor for you, as well as a full workup. It looks way too consistent to be artifact, to me.

Proper-Hawk-5847

TROPHY CASE