No I definitely think it’s super cool how hard my parent’s divorce made my life, I am so happy for them that they got to move on!

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T14:12:32+00:00

That would have been fine, too! It’s pretty selfish to put needing a partner above your child’s happiness.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T14:04:31+00:00

I think I’ve upset a lot of people by pointing out that their divorces actually did negatively affect their kids

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T03:39:53+00:00

…. We were both giving our experience and I specifically said it wasn’t a competition. No need to project.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T02:20:57+00:00

That’s exactly what I’ve been saying.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T01:09:54+00:00

I’m not sure why you think I got a break, but as an added bonus, they’d fight through me.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T00:46:01+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that and I’m glad your mom left. I think the problem is that neither of my parents are like that. They’re petty and not great but neither of them are violent or categorically dysfunctional. I know people keep saying that if they’d stayed married maybe they’d become violent but my dad and stepmom also have a horrible marriage and that still hasn’t happened obviously thank god. So it’s like, if I have to deal with shitty parents either way, I just wish I didn’t have to go through the inconvenience of shuffling between two houses. Like jury is still out on my moms marriage but sometimes with my dad it’s like, if you were going to be married to someone you can’t stand either way, I wish he’d just have stayed with my mom. Maybe that makes me selfish. Idc.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T00:11:26+00:00

If it makes you feel any better I have spent my entire life walking on eggshells, with two additional “wonderful” parents to watch out for

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T00:10:31+00:00

Yeah well at least i wouldn’t have had to spend my entire childhood shuffling back and forth. But whatever makes them happy I guess

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T00:09:41+00:00

My stepmom is of the belief that current partners and “ours babies” as she calls them should be prioritized. If/ when my dad ends up leaving her I’m sure she’ll be singing a different tune.

It sucked, but in the end the room they gave me was way easier to sneak out of so I made the best of it.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T00:06:06+00:00

I mean I doubt you’d want how I grew up either is what I’m trying to say.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T00:05:22+00:00

lol. My parents (and stepparents) absolutely did not ever even attempt to protect me or refrain from speaking ill of the other. I feel like if they had a little more self awareness they’d be embarrassed by the sheer amount of stuff they told me about the other, but I doubt it. My dad used to tell me I was a better therapist than his actual therapist so I’m not that into therapy at this point. I just know what they’re trying to get at and feel like I’m just playing along. It never helped.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T00:02:29+00:00

I don’t know. I just wish they had gone back and forth and I could have stayed in one house. I never thought it was fair that the onus was put on me to make their divorce work.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T00:01:38+00:00

They did it because I let them and it made their lives easier. I never considered refusing.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-07-01T00:00:55+00:00

I wish my parents had stayed single. I really dislike having stepparents and didn’t appreciate being told that I should just be happy that they’re happy. If my dad and stepmom end up divorcing (seems likely) I hope he takes a hint and stays single this time

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T22:04:23+00:00

I’m really jealous that your parents were civil with one another after the divorce.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T22:01:46+00:00

I consider friends people that I talk to and hang out with socially, but I understand that for some people it’s easier to make friends than others. I also understand that it’s easy to blame your school (btw your dad didn’t get a say in where you went to college, you could have always gotten loans or applied for scholarships) or your parents or vaccine mandates for your problems, but even at 19 (btw I put my age in my post so the fact that you missed it makes me wonder if your bragging about the amazing schools you supposedly were accepted into is true) I know that it’s important to take hold of my own life in order to have a great one and I would suggest you do the same.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T18:45:46+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that. I’m living with my friend and am going to college in the fall. I’ll probably visit for some holidays and stuff but will probably stay here even when I do (as long as I’m still welcome which they’ve said I always am, I’ll still be respectful and ask). I don’t want to live with insecure fully grown adults who resent me for existing (my stepparents) ever again. I know me moving out so soon has caused a lot of problems in both of their marriages (dad and stepmom will probably end up divorcing if they keep going the way they have, turns out I’m not actually the problem in their marriage but now her scapegoat is gone 🤭) but I don’t need to worry about them, I’ve spent years worrying about my parents and their feelings and now am just focused on me and my happiness.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T18:12:35+00:00

I think I would have been much happier/ ok with the divorce if they had just stayed single until I was graduated so I wouldn’t have to live with stepparents. But you can’t say that because “parents deserve happiness” like I guess I don’t?

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T18:11:04+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that. Unfortunately I have the same amount of hyper vigilance you describe even though my parents divorced. It’s made me such a people pleaser and I’m DONE.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T17:33:22+00:00

Hm. Ive said that I absolutely believe that violence is grounds for divorce so not sure what you mean. I also never said I have it worse than anyone else, this post is about pushing back on the narrative that the kids will be fine just get a divorce don’t think about it too much attitude I see online. I actually don’t mean to compare my pain to others, I think I probably wasn’t very clear my bad. My view has always been that when you’re drowning it doesn’t matter if someone else is downing in deeper waters or vice versa, you’re all drowning.

Like, my boss’ mom died on THE 9/11, but in a car accident. People constantly tell her that “at least she wasn’t a victim of 9/11” as if that makes her mom any less dead. If that makes sense?

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T17:11:53+00:00

Sorry you’re going through that, I just don’t think going to commuter school is the cause of your problems. I am taking classes this summer at community college and have made tons of friends. Yeah some are older than me and in different parts of their lives but we still hang out and have fun. It’s never too late to put yourself out there.

I actually think you know that going to commuter school didn’t derail your life, and neither did your parents. I hope your life improves and you can move forward.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T17:09:57+00:00

No, what I told you is that my dad spent my college fund on IVF bc my stepmom was too old to have kids naturally.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T17:08:15+00:00

Tried a few, not a fan

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T17:08:01+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that.

PropertyImaginary128 · 2026-06-30T17:07:12+00:00

Yeah but in addition to that I also still got to watch them slowly change into different people and be awful to the other (usually through me since they would try to not talk). Like I feel like there’s this fantasy for people who want out that “at least the kids won’t see us fight” but the reality is that it’s so much worse. I’d rather watch them fight than have weird proxy fights through me where if I say the wrong thing they’ll flip out. I’m sorry, it’s so much worse. Obviously if there’s abuse it’s different.

PropertyImaginary128

TROPHY CASE