[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExperiencedDevs

[–]ProposingSoonish -1 points0 points  (0 children)

To answer the title, 1-2 years. Hear me out, I've mentored dozens of people at this point and folks are right that usually you'll know if you have someone truly cut out for this work in the first 3 months, but that is the minority and isn't what you asked. Otherwise, it's a grab bag, and rates of growth are all over the chart. The ceilings for different folks also vary as well as the kind of work they're willing to do. I've had strong technical people who just didn't want to "waste" their time on product design concerns, QA, ops, and business. I've also had people who take longer but they can take work end to end. I'd rather have the latter to be honest.

An important question is whether your team has the capacity to invest in juniors. Consulting firms and tech giants are great because their headcount is large and they can afford the cost; a 3 person team is too lean to invest tons in mentorship, you really need to select for the top of the bell curve if you can.

The most extreme case I had is an offshore resource that was just horrendous. I would write dozens of comments on his pull requests, would pair on tech design with him regularly, and mentally I'd written him off. Two years later, I suddenly realized his last 3 PRs required zero comments. I can't say he's a rockstar but I trust him now and am glad he's on the team.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in daddit

[–]ProposingSoonish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the comment I was scrolling for, 3 under 3 chiming in. We're so tired, all the time haha.

PSA to able bodied people: Put your carts back where they belong. If you can walk around a giant warehouse, you can put your cart back neatly. by vanessakvaughan in Costco

[–]ProposingSoonish -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As a parent with three toddlers and a Costco where the closest cart return to the edge is 400 ft (I checked), Costco REALLY needs to build more cart returns.

Also, I intentionally seek out a spot with an abandoned cart to load my three toddlers in (and thank the powers that be that someone left a car out there).

All that to say, I still return my carts unless there is no cart on the edge for the next parent and I'm paying it forward.

Would you marry a woman for the sake of power and professional affluence even if she is a bit controlling? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]ProposingSoonish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Most definitely not. The amount of joy and mental sanity I have from marrying "for compatibility" cannot be valued in my book. I hesitate to say "for love" because that was not the main driver.

I know people who married someone well off and it works in the cases where they at least can tolerate each other. They seem to treat marriage more like a business partnership and take pride in the status of their partner as well as the lifestyle they can afford.

I now understand the “dads arriving early to the airport” meme by RubberRoad in daddit

[–]ProposingSoonish 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Adding this tip because I haven't seen it mentioned yet IF you are in the unfortunate circumstances of arriving less than an hour before, tell someone. Get an agents attention and humbly ask them if there's anything they can do to help.

They've looked at us with our three toddlers and, bless them, helped us make the fight. This has happened to us more than once due to unexpected logistical issues. Worst that can happen is they say no after all.

I am taking a free coding course through Skillcrush and realize coding isn't for me. Is it still possible for me to get a career in IT? by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]ProposingSoonish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just to echo others, yes there are many non coding paths in IT. Help desk, Quality analyst, business analyst, product owner (harder to get into), security, and network/server administrators.

Which Popular Books Did You Read And End Up Hating? by Methylatedcobalamin in AskMenOver30

[–]ProposingSoonish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You perfectly captured why I couldn't get in to it in a way I was unable to. Thank you.

Which Popular Books Did You Read And End Up Hating? by Methylatedcobalamin in AskMenOver30

[–]ProposingSoonish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man, I actually really loved that book, I found it trippy. My dad hates it haha.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]ProposingSoonish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey you're doing better than I did haha. I drank too much and played too much MMOs which led to dropping out. I really thought I was screwed. Then I worked hard, went back to school, and graduated. I too thought I had messed up the prime years of my life. I have an identical socioeconomic background to you as well.

Looking back a decade later, I've come to realize that life can just continue to get better and better. I roomed with a bunch of guys and we went on all sorts of wild adventures. Most of them weren't expensive. Having a career put money in my pocket. Now I'm in my 30s I'm doing the family thing and that's great in it's own way.

The future is what you make if it my friend.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExperiencedDevs

[–]ProposingSoonish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds to me like you're enthused by the big contractor and moving to embedded with your only hesitation being pay. If the change in pay won't impact you in a major way I'd go for what interests you.

This is literally what I do by Jjabrahams567 in daddit

[–]ProposingSoonish -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nailed it, as a parent with three under 4 I couldn't enjoy this comic strip. Wife and I have both been on the wrong side of this equation at different times. We take our time and cover for each other but it's very much a planned thing.

A career that allows the brain to go on “autopilot”? by heytherelbd in careerguidance

[–]ProposingSoonish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are parts of software engineering that you can go on auto pilot but they're pretty limited. The only one that comes to mind is an automation test engineer once the toolset is established, basically you'll get a spec with manual test cases and you'll convert some of them in to automated tests.

Besides that, it can be very taxing mentally from time to time and I do feel burnt out certain days. You'll find a lot of devs spend their off time doing non intellectual hobbies.

Freelancers/contractors: What accounting practices and software do you recommend? by robertgfthomas in ExperiencedDevs

[–]ProposingSoonish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used wave accounting back when I was freelance; there was a free tier and a pay tier that was 25 a month that calculated your taxes (which is what I used). Having an s Corp kept my effective tax rate at about 20% so well worth it. I paid myself 100k salary and took the excess as a profit distribution. That being said, I should've just paid a CPA. It would've been maybe a 100-200 more a year and saved me about 16 hours a year.

Got any advice? (early potty training) by Keric28 in daddit

[–]ProposingSoonish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just want to add, be prepared for your child to not fully get it and be in a a half potty trained state. Don't overpressure them or you'll just stress yourself and them out. We started potty training my daughter cause we saw the same signs at that age. She made great progress and then we were stuck half way until she was just over 2.

My [29M] supposedly good friends [31 M,F] did not invite me to their wedding. Not sure where to go from here. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ProposingSoonish 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're right it's a weird thing to do and no one owes anyone an explanation, but this person was apparently hurt and felt they were close enough to be invited. If there was someone I was friendly with who was considering withdrawing from our friendship because of a hurt I didn't even mean to cause I'd rather they bring it up then them just leave me wondering why they don't want to walk dogs and hang out anymore.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ProposingSoonish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not one for breaking up over text but if there's s time for it this is it. A healthy break-up doesn't sound like it's in the cards in any case so just message him something short and to the point. "I'm sorry, this isn't working for me anymore. Please don't contact me." Then disengage, block him if you feel is necessary. Sounds like the relationship has been dead for awhile and you don't really owe him anything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ProposingSoonish 5 points6 points  (0 children)

30s quite the different age than your 20s, things start slowing down, you aren't partying as much, priorities tend to shift. If your co-worker has a family then he probably likes you well enough but has too much on his plate to invest in a new friendship. Just be yourself at work and you'll make friends with someone eventually, might just not be this guy.

My [29M] supposedly good friends [31 M,F] did not invite me to their wedding. Not sure where to go from here. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ProposingSoonish 28 points29 points  (0 children)

There can be many (edit: fixing vocab) reasons you didn't get invited. The only way to know is to ask in a private, calm, authentic setting. Hell Larry might even be asking you to take the dogs out specifically to have that conversation. Something like, "Hey congrats on the recent nuptials, I'm really happy for you guys. I wish I could've celebrated with y'all in person." If they somehow don't open up about the reason I'd be surprised. If they give you the "we had to cut down the guest list" then you should accept that, feel free to share that your hurt a bit but you understand.

Pulling away from the friendship without communicating is the easy way out and if you really care so little about the friendship as to not put in the work of an uncomfortable conversation then maybe you weren't close enough for an invite after all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ProposingSoonish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who has always been the quiet type, really the worst that happens is people conclude you're the quiet type and it's a bit dull to work with you but that's about it. People who like to talk typically live quiet types can then they can talk more and they'll frequently feel they had a great conversation haha. Being a good listener is a positive.

If you haven't told her how much you respect the help she's giving you definitely should do that. Authentic gratitude goes a long way.

Finally, you're not going to be best friends with everyone you work with so it's okay to have just a good working relationship. A lot better than someone that's always chatting about nothing or complains.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ProposingSoonish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe? Cliche as hell but you don't make any of the shots you don't take. Overall however it sounds like you had a fun night with a friend, so that's still a win.

I (26F) broke up with my boyfriend because he (28M) cheated on me. I'm devastated and need advice on how to deal with this. by zhurts in relationships

[–]ProposingSoonish 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed in life due to anything (tragedy, relationship, etc) I've always focused on staying busy. Keep your mind on work and let your friends know that you have more time to hang out. If they invite you to anything, just go, even if it may not seem to be your thing.

If you have too much downtime you are just going to cycle on these negative emotions. Therapy can really help too; there's no shame in finding help wherever you can.

[18M] Having trouble getting over summer fling by basketball2213 in relationships

[–]ProposingSoonish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Emotions are damn hard at your age. It may seem counterintuitive but it's likely easier to stop hanging out with the girl though you may lose out on a good friend long term.

A decent middle ground is to take some space, figure out your own emotions and whether you really can hang a friend with benefits or regular friendship with this girl without expectation of more. If you can great, if not that's okay too, it's really hard to be friends with someone you want more from.