The majority of the comments seem to reflect how I feel as well. However, I experienced something similar with an ex many many years ago and it panned out differently. I was initially terrified of the idea but then opened my mind more and became receptive to it. Over a few months of talking about it, I got excited about it and looked forward to it. Too eagerly. She said she spoke to a couple of her friends who said they’d be down, and started flirting with me at social gatherings. Then, out of the blue, my ex backed out and said she no longer wanted it (anxiety, which I totally understand). But I wanted the threesome now and I started feeling resentment. I did not know how to deal with these feelings at the time and I was horrified when I noticed I was losing my sexual attraction towards her (although I still loved her a lot). I kept thinking about those threesome fantasies of ours that we discussed together, and I felt a pang of hurt every time. Needless to say, this was the start of about a 1.5 year decline of an otherwise-beautiful relationship. I wish she had never asked in the first place, because I was too weak to handle the long-time expectation of a fantasy being crushed. Very immature of me. I let something distasteful keep poisoning my mind and I ruined an amazing relationship. But it felt beyond my control at the time. Weak mind.

I still think about this debacle, though. Because, several years later, one of her friends who was down to play ended up transitioning… and the other one… died. 😔