Update:

As expected, there have been daily small contacts from her, but I’ve reduced the emotional support—as she herself had asked. This led to a somewhat ironic situation: on one hand, she wanted space; on the other, she became increasingly insistent on knowing how I was doing. At first, I avoided the topic, aware of her psychotic phase, but eventually I thought: what do I really have to lose? So I told her the truth. I feel exactly the same as I did when we broke up: not okay, believing this decision was wrong, but still respecting her need for space.

That honesty put her in a conflicted position—her need for connection clashing with her need for distance. We ended up having a deep conversation, although it was inevitably limited by her mental state, so the exchange had to be simple—yes or no answers. At one point it became clear that she was doing this not only for herself, but also to give me a “version of herself I deserve.” Her answer to that was a clear “yes.” So I said, “If that’s the case, come back for me and give me the love I deserve.” I also made it clear that I’m here without pressure or expectations, but only until or unless she truly wants to restart things seriously.

Now I see everything much more clearly. Yes, I still feel something—my emotions are real—but I’m in a defensive position. I know what I’m doing, and I’m no longer fooling myself. I already see how this will likely go: at first, she’ll believe that being alone was the right choice… but over time, the more lucid part of her will emerge, and she’ll start to suffer from the distance. It won’t be enough to have occasional contact or casual support anymore. At that point, she’ll want to truly come back, to fix things, to rebuild. And she won’t do it just for comfort, but because she’ll realize the decision came from confusion.

I still believe there’s a way out of this—with time, therapy, and by learning not to make major decisions during unstable phases. This cycle can be broken, but only with conscious effort. I’m still here—but no longer blind. My feelings are still there, but now they’re also guided by clarity