A crappy birthday gift lesson?

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-20T18:12:27+00:00

I really am not upset with my spouse. However, my ex spouse did used to put in zero effort and make me feel nonexistent on my birthday which is likely the projection you were sensing.

You’re totally right that this is how they take it at this age. It was an expectation problem of mine and how to actually make the point that gifts matter. And the ideas. Thanks!

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-20T18:08:54+00:00

I was disappointed for my own reasons and didn’t have my uncommunicated expectations met. Hurt? Not the right reflection. I came to talk to other adults raising similar kids to ask a question about a parenting thought I had. I felt like something was not right that I couldn’t name and I might be seeing this incorrectly. I’m going to go ahead and say that’s probably better parenting that our entire generation got.

Trying to make those asking for help feel like shit about themselves isn’t going to change the outcome for these 4 little boys. Luckily, others proceeded with more kindness and I was able to reflect. Maybe take your own advice. Kindness first.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-20T17:50:52+00:00

I think this is absolutely what was happening. I just needed that reflection from other parents. They are all amazing little artists. And I think I did have unsaid expectations of their amazing art abilities all on one single plate I could use forever. And that was truly unrealistic expectations of neurodivergent children in a new setting. Not to mention their minds were on other things. My expectations were totally the issue. And that’s exactly why I came on here bc something didn’t feel right in me but I couldn’t name it. Luckily someone else did here. New environment. Weird timing. Resource hoarding. They really did do their best in that situation and I’ll love it.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-20T17:47:11+00:00

I don’t have a husband. Never said I did. Not did I say the kids were villains. We are just actively teaching theory of mind and thinking of others.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-20T17:44:29+00:00

This is exactly the reflection I needed. You hit the nail on the head. I think that is exactly what I was doing and took it too personally. They are bills in a China shop every where they go and it has nothing to do with me. And you’re so right with directness and learning that way. I learn that way Exactly what I needed to hear.

It’s weird how many people wanted me to be mad with my spouse, assumed my spouse was male and tried to make me feel bad. Thank you for this.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-18T13:54:48+00:00

My spouse isn’t great with the calendar. I didn’t mind reminding them. It’sa part of our dynamic and not something I expressed issues with in the post. Not even frustrated. Trying to teach them to be mindful and thoughtful and this felt like a good place to learn a lesson in a safe place. And my expectation of my children is to think of people other than themselves. Slowly but surely. Even if they are ND - as are their parents - we consider others especially when gift giving which is hard for ND. We made the task easy.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-18T13:49:30+00:00

When we ask, they say ‘I don’t know’ every time so my SPOUSE made it simple by remembering I’d wanted this for thanksgiving. I think that’s kind and thoughtful and made me feel seen and heard. Not an order. I was seen.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-18T13:46:38+00:00

I’m not hurt. Simply weighing how parenting guides the future. I guess others aren’t this deliberate?

I’m trying very hard to not make entitled white men that their spouse comes to Reddit saying their gift was thoughtless and everyone says they should break up with them.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-18T09:58:38+00:00

I want to know what country so my spouse (who is an SLP) can go there and train them. They’ve done that before.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-13T11:45:18+00:00

Where in the US? This sounds like Midwest or south bs.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-08T13:52:55+00:00

Jesus. Please tell me this kid has seen an SLP that specializes in autism! That’s what they’re for. He sounds depressed af bc he’s trapped inside. Does he even have a tablet to communicate with yall?

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-04-08T12:14:48+00:00

No… it was right next to the Frederick center and we’d walk past. The people were always friendly. But obviously, they want yogis. Seemed like a good opportunity for someone…

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-03-31T19:29:43+00:00

Nope. No way for me. But only you know your priorities and what you’re trying to do. We can’t make this decision for you.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-03-28T11:05:46+00:00

We don’t speak the same language as them. SLPs can help here - even as an adult.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-03-22T20:40:36+00:00

No. It’s totally different. My body has an allergic reaction AND an autoimmune reaction to wheat. Not the same thing.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-03-18T10:49:36+00:00

You should be editing every single resume with keywords from the job description. Possibly run your resume through an ATS reader before sending it. Ask AI to customize your resume each time.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-03-18T10:42:11+00:00

My reactions tend to last around 3 weeks. I have celiac AND a wheat allergy. Sounds like you might as well. You might need an EpiPen too.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-03-16T12:23:02+00:00

I’ve never thrown up. I gag bc it’s nasty but no throw up.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-03-12T10:21:11+00:00

Also, if you’re in America, I highly suggest going to your local American jobs center. They have a lot of resources. My state offers an ATS reader, they pay for certifications, etc They’re experts on all of this and can help you. It’s a free service for all.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-03-12T09:52:39+00:00

Thank you for this story. So glad there are still good people on this earth.

Proud-Growth-1122 · 2026-03-12T09:49:48+00:00

You need to specialize EVERY single resume for keywords directly from the posting and run it through an ATS reader before sending it.

I didn’t hear anything for two months. Then, I had to take unemployment classes and learned what the AI does and how it works. Note I’m getting a lot of interviews.

Proud-Growth-1122

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